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<blockquote data-quote="Talindra" data-source="post: 215911" data-attributes="member: 155">Vallia’s Journal #164th&nbsp; day of The Claw of Winter, 1373 DRI hate being trapped inside.&nbsp; Tempers flare and solitude is in short supply, although it is not anyone’s fault, except maybe the gods.&nbsp; The snowstorm we rode through yesterday still rages, and we decided it was best to delay our assault on the medusa’s lair until it subsided.&nbsp; I have never liked cold weather, and I rose late this morning, preferring the warmth of the bed to the chill of the room.&nbsp; Misha was practicing with his sword.&nbsp; It seems sometimes that practicing and fighting is all that he does.&nbsp; I know it is not, but sometimes I feel as though I place a distant third on his list of priorities.&nbsp; It sounds odd to me, but I feel as if I love him more than he loves me, and sometimes I have this choking feeling that I am enslaved to him because of it.&nbsp; I know it is nothing more than my fears trying to control me, but still, I wonder.I built a fire, and made fried apples again, since we had an abundance of the ingredients.&nbsp; The warm smell of cinnamon and apple on the breeze reminded me of Midwinter festivals long past, and I felt a pang of sadness at the thought that I may never know such contentment again.&nbsp; The moment quickly passed, and Misha and I sat down at the table, alone, to eat our breakfast.&nbsp; I savored the moment, a husband and wife doing such an ordinary thing.&nbsp; I am afraid that our life together will be far from ordinary, so I will take these things when I can.&nbsp; We laughed and joked, and for a moment, I was able to forget all my worries and sadness.&nbsp; When he rose from the table, finally, and drew his sword, I could contain my questions no longer, as he admired the keen edge of his drow longsword.. &quot;Beautiful...&quot; he murmured.&nbsp;&nbsp; &quot;Like you... only a shade less deadly...&quot;&quot;Is that all you wish?&nbsp; To fight?&quot; I asked.&nbsp;&nbsp; &quot;What will you do when there is nothing left to fight, my love.”&quot;There is always something left to fight... my love...&quot; he replied, almost teasingly.I tried to make him understand what I meant, saying &quot;But it will no longer be our fight, King Misha.&quot;Misha shook his head, &quot;An exiled King... with no claim.. no royal blood... all I have is you... my child... and conflict.&nbsp; I came into this world fighting... and I expect to leave it just the same...&quot;&quot;Not if I have anything to do with it.&quot; I muttered.&quot;What do you mean?&quot; he asked as he sheathed his blade.&nbsp; &quot;I do not wish to fight forever.&nbsp; I want to watch my children grow up in a place of peace, of safety.&quot; I answered, barely holding back tears.&nbsp; &quot;I do not wish to lose you for many years yet.&quot;Misha ignored the seriousness in my voice, playfully leaping onto the table to do a handstand.&nbsp;&quot;And we both know that one day you will find a fight you cannot win.&quot; I said, suddenly angry, as I shoved him off the table.&nbsp; Misha landed on his feet, a little off balance, and sighed, &quot;What was that for?&quot;&quot;For being silly when I am serious.&quot;Misha laughed heartily at that. &quot;Burning Rose... will be there for his family.&nbsp; But the call... for battle... for right... gnaws at my heart... I am Corellon's Champion...&quot;&nbsp; He hopped back up on the table and crouched near me, &quot;What, you don't trust me to come home alive?&quot;&nbsp; He flicked his beads with a smile.&quot;You cannot win every battle.....no one can.&quot; I said grimly.Misha nodded. &quot;But that is my place. I am a warrior. I have always been a warrior, only now I have a cause...you know that.&nbsp; He lifted my chin, making me look at him, &quot;I cannot win them all... I know.&nbsp; But I will not and cannot stop... Corellon called me to duty... you...&quot;I was about to answer him when I&nbsp; heard Karanaj scream in my head &quot;ALIYA!!!&quot;&nbsp; Misha must have heard it too, because he leapt off the table, blade in hand, as I pulled my sword and ran for Kara’s room.&nbsp; Misha kicked the door in with a controlled rage... waving his blade about warily.When we entered, Kara was unconcious on the floor, and Aliya nowhere to be found.I checked on Karanaj, and found that he was alive, and seemingly unhurt.&nbsp; Glancing around the room, I noted that all of Aliya's things were gone, the bed was still rumpled, and Kara was not dressed.&nbsp; I looked back at Kara and cast a spell, then looked back at Misha.&nbsp; &quot;He has been poisoned, but I do not know with what.&quot;Misha scowled. &quot;Great.....so where did the prodigal daughter go now?&quot;&nbsp; I shook my head as he searched the rest of the fortress, but found no trace of Aliya.&nbsp; Misha hypothesized that someone had entered the fortress, poisoned Karanaj and took Aliya.&nbsp; I have to admit that seems to be the most plausible explanation, though Misha could find no evidence of their entry.I was frustrated that I could not tell what type of poison had been used on Kara, but my worries were soon put to rest as Kara stirred, looking around the room.&nbsp; As he became aware of his surroundings, he stared with a haunted look.&nbsp; &quot;What happened?&quot;&nbsp; I asked.&nbsp; &quot;What is it?&quot;“She is gone.&quot;&nbsp; Misha said.Karanaj whispered quietly, &quot;Leave me...&quot;Misha looked down at him. &quot;Who did this?&quot;&nbsp; &quot;You can cry and lament... but I will find her abductors...&quot;Karanaj growled &quot;NOW!&quot;&nbsp;Seeing his pain, I knelt in front of him, putting my arms around him. &quot;No.&quot;&nbsp; I said quietly.&quot;Who did this?&quot; Misha demanded.&nbsp; &quot;Tell me and you can have all the solitude you like...&quot;I saw tears forming in Kara’s eyes, and hugged him tighter.&nbsp; &quot;You must tell us.&quot;&quot;Aliya....&quot; he says very quietly.Misha waited for a moment, then repeated &quot;Who did this?&quot; &quot;Kalanthor... and Aliya...&quot;&nbsp; Kara barely managed to say.Misha looked puzzled.&nbsp; &quot;Kalanthor.. that red dragon thing...&quot;Kara roared at him &quot;You ask me who and I tell you! Aliya!!&quot;&nbsp; The shock of that statement hit me like a blow, as I pulled away from him.&quot;She wouldn't!&quot; I protested.Misha nodded as I spoke. &quot;Now it all makes sense...&quot;&quot;She would... and did...&quot; Kara said bitterly.Misha turned, and said over his shoulder, &quot;So much for the Sword bearer.&nbsp; I will find her...&quot; He began to walk out the door.His tone made my angry, and I demanded &quot;And when you do?&quot;&nbsp; Misha ignored me, sheathing his sword and walking away.Knowing that Kara needed me now, I let Misha go and hugged him again.&nbsp; &quot;Where did they go?&quot;He could not answer, and I knew he wanted to be alone, so I hugged him once more and kissed his cheek, then stood.&nbsp; &quot;Call if&nbsp; you have need.&quot;&nbsp; He nodded absent-mindedly as I left.&nbsp; After a few moments we heard growling and the sounds of scuffling, coming from Kara's room.I found Misha in the common room, just as I heard the noise, and turned to go back to Kara, thinking perhaps Kalanthor had returned.&nbsp; Misha stopped me.&nbsp; &quot;I think it is simply Karanaj dealing with this betrayal.&nbsp; I would leave him alone...&quot;Just as I touched the door, Karanaj pulled it open hard, walking out with all of his things and equipment.&nbsp; &quot;Going somewhere?&quot; Misha asked.&quot;Anywhere but here.&quot; Karanaj snarled, leaving the door open and walking off.&nbsp; Inside we could see what remained of the bed, ripped apart, feathers strewn across the room.&nbsp;&quot;You can't run from yourself...&quot; Misha said, and I almost laughed for a moment, to hear something like that from him.&nbsp; He should know.&nbsp; &quot;And that is all you are doing... running...&quot;&quot;Kara, you can't go out in the storm.&quot; I protested.&nbsp; &quot;If you love Aliya, then believe in her.&nbsp; You do not know why she does what she does.&quot;&quot;And you do?&quot; Misha said disgustedly.I glared at him, angry.&nbsp; He has never liked Aliya, and that grates on my nerves.&nbsp; &quot;Do I look like I do?&nbsp; I'm hoping, I believe in my sister.&quot;Misha turned away from me.&nbsp; &quot;Whatever happens she will not get the Sword.&nbsp; I will see to that personally if need be.&quot;&quot;And I will fight you.&quot; I heard myself say, before I even thought.Karanaj sank slowly into a chair by the fire, as Misha gritted his teeth... &quot;You wouldn't.&quot;&quot;Wouldn't I?&quot; I said heatedly.&quot;She is not ready.”&nbsp; Misha argued.“Who is?&quot; I retorted.&quot;I have faith in many things... but in her...&quot; Misha shook his head.&quot;She is my sister....&quot; I said quietly, as I turned, heading for our room.&nbsp; &quot;Fine....you and Kara find other places to sleep.&quot;&nbsp; She slams the door.&quot;Vallia!?&quot;&nbsp; Misha followed me into the bedroom.&nbsp; I had drawn my sword, and was practicing forms as he entered and asked &quot;Angry?&nbsp; Well, I am sorry... I am only looking at the harsh reality of what may have just occurred.&nbsp; You said yourself that she was hiding something... even from you...&quot;&nbsp; I did not answer, but my anger fueled my movements, as I spun faster.&nbsp; “You have faith in her, for that I commend you. I want to have faith... but I can't... not now with what has happened, not with everything on the line.&nbsp; We are fighting on many fronts... our own people... corruption... the world... the Zhentarim... and dare I say it the end of the world.&nbsp; So excuse me if I am in short supply of faith outside of you and Corellon..&quot;&quot;She is the only one who can wield the sword, you fool.&nbsp; If we cannot have faith in her, then it is pointless to go on.&quot;&nbsp; I hissed at him, lost in the red haze of my fury.“There is always a way.”&nbsp; He replied.&nbsp; &quot;I will not throw this quest aside at the behest of some spoiled princess... we will find a way... with or without her.&quot;&nbsp;Almost without conscious thought, I whirled, my blade whizzing towards Misha's throat.&nbsp; Misha stepped back quickly, his own blade in hand.&nbsp; “With or without her... I will go on...and I will win.&quot; he said.&quot;Spoiled princess?&quot;&nbsp; I spit at him as my blade stopped inches from his face.&nbsp; &quot;Then you go on without me as well....&quot;&quot;I meant your sister,&quot; he said as he tried to bat my sword aside.&nbsp; “You take offense at everything I say... even when it is not directed at you.&quot;I held the sword steady, bringing it back in place.&nbsp; &quot;I know what you meant.&nbsp; She is my sister! You insult her, you insult me....you mistrust her, you mistrust me....&quot;&quot;You are two different people.&quot; Misha replied.&nbsp; &quot;I know nothing of your sister outside of what I have seen.&quot;I shook my head.&nbsp; &quot;We are and we are not.&quot;&quot;You cannot ask me with all honesty to trust someone I know very little about... despite her lineage...&quot;&nbsp; He continued, ignoring me.&quot;I trust her.....I am asking you to trust me.&quot; I said calmly.&quot;I trust you... but Vallia, I will not allow her near that Sword... not until I can see with my own eyes where she stands.&quot; he said, meeting my gaze.&quot;You don't trust me......&quot; I said softly.&nbsp; &quot;That is fine......just stay far away from me.&quot;&quot;I trust you.&quot;&nbsp; He muttered.&nbsp; &quot;I am not going anywhere.&nbsp; I trust you... but Aliya has to earn that trust once more.&quot;&quot;So be it,” I said. “But get out of my room.&quot;&quot;What?&quot;&nbsp; Misha looked shocked.&nbsp; &quot;So you turn your back on me? Because I tell you how I feel, where I stand?&quot;&quot;Because you will not trust me when I say you can trust her.&quot;&nbsp; I replied evenly.&nbsp; &quot;Leave.&quot;&quot;Then where did she go?&quot; he taunted.&nbsp; &quot;Tell me, what is she doing?&nbsp; Did she trust you enough to tell you these things?&nbsp; Obviously she feels she must go this alone... and does not trust us...&quot;&quot;If I knew that I would tell you.&quot; I snarled and turned, hurling my sword point first into the wall, where it stuck, quivering.&nbsp; &quot;I SAID LEAVE!!&quot;&quot;No.&quot;&nbsp;&quot;Fine, then I will.&quot;&nbsp; I didn’t trust myself around him any longer.&nbsp; For a moment, I felt a hate for him stronger than anything I had felt in my life, and I wanted nothing more than to put my sword through his heart.&nbsp; It was a brief moment, but maybe he read it on my face.&quot;Fine...&quot; he said as he moved to leave.&nbsp; “Have it your way.&quot;Sarcastically, I replied.&nbsp; &quot;I always do Misha, it's what makes me so spoiled.&quot;“If it isn't one thing it is another.”&nbsp; He said.&nbsp; &quot;In that case... call me when you see fit to give me an opinion... since I must be incapable of doing so without upsetting you.&quot;&nbsp; He left, and I fell to my knees, praying.&nbsp; Praying for guidance, wisdom, patience....anything.....After some time, I left the room, and found Kara weeping on the floor of the bedroom he had shared with Aliya.&nbsp; As I knelt beside him, I heard Aliya’s voice, and I know he did as well.&nbsp; She explained her actions as best she could, and I could feel my heart breaking for Kara.&nbsp; I held him for a moment, and then rose, leaving him to his grief.&nbsp; It pains me that there is nothing I can do for him, but I must accept it.I heard Misha singing, and entered the common room to find him training once again, adding more flair and acrobatics with flips... and rolls and exotic strikes... with spins.&nbsp; &quot;Always you show off, it will get you killed.&quot;&nbsp; I observed.He paused,&nbsp; kneeling and panting, his back to me, his sword out and low. &quot;What do you want?&quot;His tone made me stiffen, and I turned to go.&nbsp;&nbsp; &quot;Nothing....&quot;Misha stood&nbsp; &quot;And yet you came from something.”&nbsp; He turned to me &quot;What is it?&quot;&quot;Kara spoke to Aliya, as did I.&nbsp;&nbsp; She is being forced by a spell.....and she wishes for us to kill her, if we cannot stop her.&quot; I said sadly.Misha nodded, twirling his blade in his hands... &quot;I think I can oblige her there if need be.&quot;My rage rose up again, as red hot as before, and I nearly lunged for him, but controlled myself as Kara emerged from his room.&nbsp; &quot;I am glad you are so eager.&quot; he said.&nbsp; &quot;I, for one, am not.&quot;&nbsp; Kara glanced at me, then said &quot;Perhaps you are the only one that could, Misha.&quot;Misha turned away from us again.&nbsp; &quot;I will do what needs to be done.&quot;&nbsp; He paused for a brief moment, then continued.&nbsp; &quot;Vallia.. I do not relish this... but if comes to it... then we must kill her.&quot;&quot;I know that... and that is the only reason I will not kill you if you touch her.&quot; Karanaj said resignedly.Misha glances at Karanaj, &quot;Thank you, I am glad I have your approval.&quot;“You have no such thing.&quot; Karanaj snapped.&nbsp; &quot;I will allow you to grant her request, but ONLY if it comes to that.&quot;I turned and held Misha’s eyes for a long moment.. &quot;Kill her and you will have to kill me.&quot;&quot;It is your sister's wish.”&nbsp; Misha argued, and looked at Karanaj.&nbsp;&nbsp; &quot;Do you think me a murderer?&nbsp; I will only do so if there is no alternative, not a moment sooner.&quot;&quot;And I am telling you I will die as well.&quot; I told him.&nbsp; It had taken some time, but after Aliya was taken prisoner, I had realized why I had reacted the way I did, and what it meant.Karanaj frowned. &quot;There is the chance to save her. I will not allow her to die when I could save her.&quot;Misha looked very serious. &quot;Well, we just need to find a way to save her.”&nbsp; He glanced at me, then looked away.&nbsp; &quot;But if it comes to it... my love... then I will do it...&quot;&quot;You will kill us both?&quot;&nbsp; I could hardly believe what I was hearing.He turned away from me.&nbsp; &quot;You make it sound like this is what I want...it isn't...&quot;I trembled as hold on my self-control slipped.&nbsp;&nbsp; &quot;I will make it easier....&quot; I turned and left the room, but the fool followed me, grabbing me arm and forcing me to turn back to him.&quot;Talk to me Vallia...&quot;I shook my head. &quot;No.&quot;&quot;Do you think this is what I want?&quot;&nbsp; He was pleading with me, to my surprise.&nbsp; He was asking me to understand and accept that he might kill me.&nbsp; I could not keep the contempt from my face.&nbsp; &quot;No!&nbsp; I will not lose you... and by everything that is good we will not lose Aliya...&quot;&quot;Yes, you will.&quot; I said softly.Stubbornly, he said &quot;There is always a choice... and by Corellon I will find it...&quot; &quot;Then find it.&quot; I said flatly, as I tried to pull away from him.Misha growled and pulled me close, kissing me hard.&nbsp; &quot;Help me... together...that is the only way we can get through this...&quot;&quot;And if I do.....will you then be able to kill her?&quot; I demanded.&quot;I will not kill her unless there is no other way.&nbsp; You have my word... my bond... no other way...&quot;My heart in my throat, I asked. &quot;Can you kill her knowing you kill me?&quot;&quot;Vallia you know the answer to that question.&quot; he said softly.Icily, I said &quot;Do I?&quot;He kissed me again, as I stood there, stiff in his arms. &quot;Sadly... you know the answer.&quot;I made my decision.&nbsp; &quot;Then this is goodbye Misha.&nbsp; I will not do anything to change that.&quot;Misha looked confused.&nbsp; &quot;Goodbye?&nbsp; Where are you going?&quot; &quot;I will help, but stay away from me.&quot; I said determinedly.Misha stepped back.&nbsp; &quot;Don't do this...&quot;&quot;I cannot do anything that might make you hesitate....&quot; I lied too him more smoothly than I thought possible.Misha sighed.&nbsp; “You hate me for my duty.&nbsp; This is who I am now.&quot;&nbsp;&quot;Duty has its place.&quot; I said distantly.&quot;You think I should forsake it?&quot; he asked curiously&quot;I think you must control it, not let it control you.&quot; I replied.Misha nodded, but he did not really understand. &quot;You know where I stand.&nbsp; I will save Aliya if I can... and if it comes to it... then I will destroy her... but only if there is no other way.&quot;&quot;So duty takes precedence over all.....including me....&quot; I don’t know why I continued to ask these questions.&nbsp; I was only causing myself pain, but I had to ask.Misha stepped forward and touched my cheek... a single tear sliding down his face. &quot;I choose life... I choose you... but this is bigger than us Vallia...&quot;My heart felt like stone.&nbsp; He had made his choice.&nbsp; &quot;And so, you choose duty....&quot;&quot;I am a King... I have a responsibility to my people...&quot;“To kill your Queen.” I finished.&quot;This is not an easy decision.&quot; he protested.I turned away from him again.&nbsp; &quot;Stay away from me, Misha.&quot;&quot;Vallia, wait...&quot;I whirled, glaring at him, my grip on myself almost gone.&nbsp; &quot;What?!?&quot;&nbsp; He just looked at me.&nbsp; &quot;You thought not at all before making the decision....you are almost eager.&nbsp; And I have not heard you once consider the most important things.&quot;Misha sighed and drew his masterwork dagger and looked at it, &quot;And that is?&nbsp; I have considered you... our child... that is why I make it a point to do everything I can to save her... but I will not look past the possibility that it may be all for naught.&quot;&quot;Then you will kill all three of us.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp; I could scarcely believe what I was hearing.&nbsp; I felt as though I didn’t even know Misha.&quot;Then I won't...I won't kill her no matter the cost...&quot; Bitterly, I said. &quot;And what of your precious duty?&quot;He looked at me, holding the dagger tightly.&nbsp; &quot;Duty... is all that I am.&nbsp; I apologize Vallia, for my eagerness.&quot;I eyed the dagger uneasily.&nbsp; &quot;What are you doing with that?&quot;&quot;There is one sure way to stop me from acting against Aliya... to save you, her and our child.&nbsp; As you said, my duty is precious to me.&nbsp; Everything I have done... I have done for you... and the cause.&quot;&nbsp; He looked down at the dagger, and my eyes narrowed, as I knocked it from his hand.&quot;Now you understand my resolve.&quot; he said grimly.&nbsp; &quot;There is no eagerness... no relish of bloodshed... only duty... I will do what must be done to save everyone.&quot;&quot;I understand you are a bigger fool than I thought.&quot; I spat.&quot;I wouldn't have killed myself... it was only a measure to show my resolve.&quot;&nbsp; That, more than anything, made me furious.&nbsp; He had manipulated me, and he had done it so effortlessly.I turned away.&nbsp; &quot;Far away, Misha.&nbsp; Stay far away.&quot;&nbsp;&quot;Fine... I will be gone before the eve.&quot; he said.I stopped, but did not turn. &quot;You will not help us find the sword?&quot;&quot;I will meet you there but I shall keep my distance since I cannot be trusted.&quot; I wanted to scream, to strike him, to do something, but all I did was shake my head.&nbsp; &quot;You made me who I am, Vallia.&quot;&quot;Travel with us.&nbsp; Just keep your distance from me.&quot; I said quietly.&quot;No. I am too much a threat to your existence.&nbsp; I will not stay in your presence and be alienated.&nbsp; You ask too much... all or nothing.&quot;&nbsp; I ask to much?&nbsp; I resolved then that if I were to die, then I would choose the terms by which I would do it.I glared at him, and picked up the dagger. &quot;Fine.&quot;&quot;Which is it?” he asked evenly.&nbsp; &quot;Stay or go?&quot;&quot;You may stay.”&nbsp; I answered softly.&nbsp; “You will not have to kill Aliya in any case.&quot;&quot;Good. I did not plan on doing so. I know I will find a way.&quot;&nbsp; He said arrogantly.&nbsp; &quot;Let us focus on saving her.&nbsp; We shall leave thoughts of her death to the wayside until the time it is absolutely needed.&nbsp; For now... we focus on life.&quot;I shook my head at his foolishness, and raised the dagger.&nbsp; &quot;You will not have to kill her because I will.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp; Misha looked grim.&nbsp; &quot;I will not kill her.....not really....&quot; I continued.&nbsp; &quot;When the time comes, I will simply kill myself.&quot;Misha shouted &quot;NO!?&quot;I shrugged.&nbsp; &quot;What is the difference Misha?&nbsp; Either way, we will both be dead.&quot;&quot;No one dies.”&nbsp; He said.&nbsp; &quot;I will not let it happen.&quot;I tucked his dagger into my belt and nodded. &quot;It is your responsibility to see to it then.&quot;“She will live... you will live... we must focus on life.&nbsp; Death will only weaken the weave.&quot; It sounded suspiciously close to an order.&quot;You focus on life.....I am too weary.&quot;&nbsp; I said, and I walked away.Misha has avoided me since our little chat, not that I blame him.&nbsp; I have been deluding myself.&nbsp; There are things he loves more than me…things he would sacrifice me for.&nbsp; That knowledge is like a knife in my heart, and every time I look upon him, it twists a little bit deeper.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Talindra, post: 215911, member: 155"] Vallia’s Journal #16 4th day of The Claw of Winter, 1373 DR I hate being trapped inside. Tempers flare and solitude is in short supply, although it is not anyone’s fault, except maybe the gods. The snowstorm we rode through yesterday still rages, and we decided it was best to delay our assault on the medusa’s lair until it subsided. I have never liked cold weather, and I rose late this morning, preferring the warmth of the bed to the chill of the room. Misha was practicing with his sword. It seems sometimes that practicing and fighting is all that he does. I know it is not, but sometimes I feel as though I place a distant third on his list of priorities. It sounds odd to me, but I feel as if I love him more than he loves me, and sometimes I have this choking feeling that I am enslaved to him because of it. I know it is nothing more than my fears trying to control me, but still, I wonder. I built a fire, and made fried apples again, since we had an abundance of the ingredients. The warm smell of cinnamon and apple on the breeze reminded me of Midwinter festivals long past, and I felt a pang of sadness at the thought that I may never know such contentment again. The moment quickly passed, and Misha and I sat down at the table, alone, to eat our breakfast. I savored the moment, a husband and wife doing such an ordinary thing. I am afraid that our life together will be far from ordinary, so I will take these things when I can. We laughed and joked, and for a moment, I was able to forget all my worries and sadness. When he rose from the table, finally, and drew his sword, I could contain my questions no longer, as he admired the keen edge of his drow longsword.. "Beautiful..." he murmured. "Like you... only a shade less deadly..." "Is that all you wish? To fight?" I asked. "What will you do when there is nothing left to fight, my love.” "There is always something left to fight... my love..." he replied, almost teasingly. I tried to make him understand what I meant, saying "But it will no longer be our fight, King Misha." Misha shook his head, "An exiled King... with no claim.. no royal blood... all I have is you... my child... and conflict. I came into this world fighting... and I expect to leave it just the same..." "Not if I have anything to do with it." I muttered. "What do you mean?" he asked as he sheathed his blade. "I do not wish to fight forever. I want to watch my children grow up in a place of peace, of safety." I answered, barely holding back tears. "I do not wish to lose you for many years yet." Misha ignored the seriousness in my voice, playfully leaping onto the table to do a handstand. "And we both know that one day you will find a fight you cannot win." I said, suddenly angry, as I shoved him off the table. Misha landed on his feet, a little off balance, and sighed, "What was that for?" "For being silly when I am serious." Misha laughed heartily at that. "Burning Rose... will be there for his family. But the call... for battle... for right... gnaws at my heart... I am Corellon's Champion..." He hopped back up on the table and crouched near me, "What, you don't trust me to come home alive?" He flicked his beads with a smile. "You cannot win every battle.....no one can." I said grimly. Misha nodded. "But that is my place. I am a warrior. I have always been a warrior, only now I have a cause...you know that. He lifted my chin, making me look at him, "I cannot win them all... I know. But I will not and cannot stop... Corellon called me to duty... you..." I was about to answer him when I heard Karanaj scream in my head "ALIYA!!!" Misha must have heard it too, because he leapt off the table, blade in hand, as I pulled my sword and ran for Kara’s room. Misha kicked the door in with a controlled rage... waving his blade about warily. When we entered, Kara was unconcious on the floor, and Aliya nowhere to be found. I checked on Karanaj, and found that he was alive, and seemingly unhurt. Glancing around the room, I noted that all of Aliya's things were gone, the bed was still rumpled, and Kara was not dressed. I looked back at Kara and cast a spell, then looked back at Misha. "He has been poisoned, but I do not know with what." Misha scowled. "Great.....so where did the prodigal daughter go now?" I shook my head as he searched the rest of the fortress, but found no trace of Aliya. Misha hypothesized that someone had entered the fortress, poisoned Karanaj and took Aliya. I have to admit that seems to be the most plausible explanation, though Misha could find no evidence of their entry. I was frustrated that I could not tell what type of poison had been used on Kara, but my worries were soon put to rest as Kara stirred, looking around the room. As he became aware of his surroundings, he stared with a haunted look. "What happened?" I asked. "What is it?" “She is gone." Misha said. Karanaj whispered quietly, "Leave me..." Misha looked down at him. "Who did this?" "You can cry and lament... but I will find her abductors..." Karanaj growled "NOW!" Seeing his pain, I knelt in front of him, putting my arms around him. "No." I said quietly. "Who did this?" Misha demanded. "Tell me and you can have all the solitude you like..." I saw tears forming in Kara’s eyes, and hugged him tighter. "You must tell us." "Aliya...." he says very quietly. Misha waited for a moment, then repeated "Who did this?" "Kalanthor... and Aliya..." Kara barely managed to say. Misha looked puzzled. "Kalanthor.. that red dragon thing..." Kara roared at him "You ask me who and I tell you! Aliya!!" The shock of that statement hit me like a blow, as I pulled away from him. "She wouldn't!" I protested. Misha nodded as I spoke. "Now it all makes sense..." "She would... and did..." Kara said bitterly. Misha turned, and said over his shoulder, "So much for the Sword bearer. I will find her..." He began to walk out the door. His tone made my angry, and I demanded "And when you do?" Misha ignored me, sheathing his sword and walking away. Knowing that Kara needed me now, I let Misha go and hugged him again. "Where did they go?" He could not answer, and I knew he wanted to be alone, so I hugged him once more and kissed his cheek, then stood. "Call if you have need." He nodded absent-mindedly as I left. After a few moments we heard growling and the sounds of scuffling, coming from Kara's room. I found Misha in the common room, just as I heard the noise, and turned to go back to Kara, thinking perhaps Kalanthor had returned. Misha stopped me. "I think it is simply Karanaj dealing with this betrayal. I would leave him alone..." Just as I touched the door, Karanaj pulled it open hard, walking out with all of his things and equipment. "Going somewhere?" Misha asked. "Anywhere but here." Karanaj snarled, leaving the door open and walking off. Inside we could see what remained of the bed, ripped apart, feathers strewn across the room. "You can't run from yourself..." Misha said, and I almost laughed for a moment, to hear something like that from him. He should know. "And that is all you are doing... running..." "Kara, you can't go out in the storm." I protested. "If you love Aliya, then believe in her. You do not know why she does what she does." "And you do?" Misha said disgustedly. I glared at him, angry. He has never liked Aliya, and that grates on my nerves. "Do I look like I do? I'm hoping, I believe in my sister." Misha turned away from me. "Whatever happens she will not get the Sword. I will see to that personally if need be." "And I will fight you." I heard myself say, before I even thought. Karanaj sank slowly into a chair by the fire, as Misha gritted his teeth... "You wouldn't." "Wouldn't I?" I said heatedly. "She is not ready.” Misha argued. “Who is?" I retorted. "I have faith in many things... but in her..." Misha shook his head. "She is my sister...." I said quietly, as I turned, heading for our room. "Fine....you and Kara find other places to sleep." She slams the door. "Vallia!?" Misha followed me into the bedroom. I had drawn my sword, and was practicing forms as he entered and asked "Angry? Well, I am sorry... I am only looking at the harsh reality of what may have just occurred. You said yourself that she was hiding something... even from you..." I did not answer, but my anger fueled my movements, as I spun faster. “You have faith in her, for that I commend you. I want to have faith... but I can't... not now with what has happened, not with everything on the line. We are fighting on many fronts... our own people... corruption... the world... the Zhentarim... and dare I say it the end of the world. So excuse me if I am in short supply of faith outside of you and Corellon.." "She is the only one who can wield the sword, you fool. If we cannot have faith in her, then it is pointless to go on." I hissed at him, lost in the red haze of my fury. “There is always a way.” He replied. "I will not throw this quest aside at the behest of some spoiled princess... we will find a way... with or without her." Almost without conscious thought, I whirled, my blade whizzing towards Misha's throat. Misha stepped back quickly, his own blade in hand. “With or without her... I will go on...and I will win." he said. "Spoiled princess?" I spit at him as my blade stopped inches from his face. "Then you go on without me as well...." "I meant your sister," he said as he tried to bat my sword aside. “You take offense at everything I say... even when it is not directed at you." I held the sword steady, bringing it back in place. "I know what you meant. She is my sister! You insult her, you insult me....you mistrust her, you mistrust me...." "You are two different people." Misha replied. "I know nothing of your sister outside of what I have seen." I shook my head. "We are and we are not." "You cannot ask me with all honesty to trust someone I know very little about... despite her lineage..." He continued, ignoring me. "I trust her.....I am asking you to trust me." I said calmly. "I trust you... but Vallia, I will not allow her near that Sword... not until I can see with my own eyes where she stands." he said, meeting my gaze. "You don't trust me......" I said softly. "That is fine......just stay far away from me." "I trust you." He muttered. "I am not going anywhere. I trust you... but Aliya has to earn that trust once more." "So be it,” I said. “But get out of my room." "What?" Misha looked shocked. "So you turn your back on me? Because I tell you how I feel, where I stand?" "Because you will not trust me when I say you can trust her." I replied evenly. "Leave." "Then where did she go?" he taunted. "Tell me, what is she doing? Did she trust you enough to tell you these things? Obviously she feels she must go this alone... and does not trust us..." "If I knew that I would tell you." I snarled and turned, hurling my sword point first into the wall, where it stuck, quivering. "I SAID LEAVE!!" "No." "Fine, then I will." I didn’t trust myself around him any longer. For a moment, I felt a hate for him stronger than anything I had felt in my life, and I wanted nothing more than to put my sword through his heart. It was a brief moment, but maybe he read it on my face. "Fine..." he said as he moved to leave. “Have it your way." Sarcastically, I replied. "I always do Misha, it's what makes me so spoiled." “If it isn't one thing it is another.” He said. "In that case... call me when you see fit to give me an opinion... since I must be incapable of doing so without upsetting you." He left, and I fell to my knees, praying. Praying for guidance, wisdom, patience....anything..... After some time, I left the room, and found Kara weeping on the floor of the bedroom he had shared with Aliya. As I knelt beside him, I heard Aliya’s voice, and I know he did as well. She explained her actions as best she could, and I could feel my heart breaking for Kara. I held him for a moment, and then rose, leaving him to his grief. It pains me that there is nothing I can do for him, but I must accept it. I heard Misha singing, and entered the common room to find him training once again, adding more flair and acrobatics with flips... and rolls and exotic strikes... with spins. "Always you show off, it will get you killed." I observed. He paused, kneeling and panting, his back to me, his sword out and low. "What do you want?" His tone made me stiffen, and I turned to go. "Nothing...." Misha stood "And yet you came from something.” He turned to me "What is it?" "Kara spoke to Aliya, as did I. She is being forced by a spell.....and she wishes for us to kill her, if we cannot stop her." I said sadly. Misha nodded, twirling his blade in his hands... "I think I can oblige her there if need be." My rage rose up again, as red hot as before, and I nearly lunged for him, but controlled myself as Kara emerged from his room. "I am glad you are so eager." he said. "I, for one, am not." Kara glanced at me, then said "Perhaps you are the only one that could, Misha." Misha turned away from us again. "I will do what needs to be done." He paused for a brief moment, then continued. "Vallia.. I do not relish this... but if comes to it... then we must kill her." "I know that... and that is the only reason I will not kill you if you touch her." Karanaj said resignedly. Misha glances at Karanaj, "Thank you, I am glad I have your approval." “You have no such thing." Karanaj snapped. "I will allow you to grant her request, but ONLY if it comes to that." I turned and held Misha’s eyes for a long moment.. "Kill her and you will have to kill me." "It is your sister's wish.” Misha argued, and looked at Karanaj. "Do you think me a murderer? I will only do so if there is no alternative, not a moment sooner." "And I am telling you I will die as well." I told him. It had taken some time, but after Aliya was taken prisoner, I had realized why I had reacted the way I did, and what it meant. Karanaj frowned. "There is the chance to save her. I will not allow her to die when I could save her." Misha looked very serious. "Well, we just need to find a way to save her.” He glanced at me, then looked away. "But if it comes to it... my love... then I will do it..." "You will kill us both?" I could hardly believe what I was hearing. He turned away from me. "You make it sound like this is what I want...it isn't..." I trembled as hold on my self-control slipped. "I will make it easier...." I turned and left the room, but the fool followed me, grabbing me arm and forcing me to turn back to him. "Talk to me Vallia..." I shook my head. "No." "Do you think this is what I want?" He was pleading with me, to my surprise. He was asking me to understand and accept that he might kill me. I could not keep the contempt from my face. "No! I will not lose you... and by everything that is good we will not lose Aliya..." "Yes, you will." I said softly. Stubbornly, he said "There is always a choice... and by Corellon I will find it..." "Then find it." I said flatly, as I tried to pull away from him. Misha growled and pulled me close, kissing me hard. "Help me... together...that is the only way we can get through this..." "And if I do.....will you then be able to kill her?" I demanded. "I will not kill her unless there is no other way. You have my word... my bond... no other way..." My heart in my throat, I asked. "Can you kill her knowing you kill me?" "Vallia you know the answer to that question." he said softly. Icily, I said "Do I?" He kissed me again, as I stood there, stiff in his arms. "Sadly... you know the answer." I made my decision. "Then this is goodbye Misha. I will not do anything to change that." Misha looked confused. "Goodbye? Where are you going?" "I will help, but stay away from me." I said determinedly. Misha stepped back. "Don't do this..." "I cannot do anything that might make you hesitate...." I lied too him more smoothly than I thought possible. Misha sighed. “You hate me for my duty. This is who I am now." "Duty has its place." I said distantly. "You think I should forsake it?" he asked curiously "I think you must control it, not let it control you." I replied. Misha nodded, but he did not really understand. "You know where I stand. I will save Aliya if I can... and if it comes to it... then I will destroy her... but only if there is no other way." "So duty takes precedence over all.....including me...." I don’t know why I continued to ask these questions. I was only causing myself pain, but I had to ask. Misha stepped forward and touched my cheek... a single tear sliding down his face. "I choose life... I choose you... but this is bigger than us Vallia..." My heart felt like stone. He had made his choice. "And so, you choose duty...." "I am a King... I have a responsibility to my people..." “To kill your Queen.” I finished. "This is not an easy decision." he protested. I turned away from him again. "Stay away from me, Misha." "Vallia, wait..." I whirled, glaring at him, my grip on myself almost gone. "What?!?" He just looked at me. "You thought not at all before making the decision....you are almost eager. And I have not heard you once consider the most important things." Misha sighed and drew his masterwork dagger and looked at it, "And that is? I have considered you... our child... that is why I make it a point to do everything I can to save her... but I will not look past the possibility that it may be all for naught." "Then you will kill all three of us." I could scarcely believe what I was hearing. I felt as though I didn’t even know Misha. "Then I won't...I won't kill her no matter the cost..." Bitterly, I said. "And what of your precious duty?" He looked at me, holding the dagger tightly. "Duty... is all that I am. I apologize Vallia, for my eagerness." I eyed the dagger uneasily. "What are you doing with that?" "There is one sure way to stop me from acting against Aliya... to save you, her and our child. As you said, my duty is precious to me. Everything I have done... I have done for you... and the cause." He looked down at the dagger, and my eyes narrowed, as I knocked it from his hand. "Now you understand my resolve." he said grimly. "There is no eagerness... no relish of bloodshed... only duty... I will do what must be done to save everyone." "I understand you are a bigger fool than I thought." I spat. "I wouldn't have killed myself... it was only a measure to show my resolve." That, more than anything, made me furious. He had manipulated me, and he had done it so effortlessly. I turned away. "Far away, Misha. Stay far away." "Fine... I will be gone before the eve." he said. I stopped, but did not turn. "You will not help us find the sword?" "I will meet you there but I shall keep my distance since I cannot be trusted." I wanted to scream, to strike him, to do something, but all I did was shake my head. "You made me who I am, Vallia." "Travel with us. Just keep your distance from me." I said quietly. "No. I am too much a threat to your existence. I will not stay in your presence and be alienated. You ask too much... all or nothing." I ask to much? I resolved then that if I were to die, then I would choose the terms by which I would do it. I glared at him, and picked up the dagger. "Fine." "Which is it?” he asked evenly. "Stay or go?" "You may stay.” I answered softly. “You will not have to kill Aliya in any case." "Good. I did not plan on doing so. I know I will find a way." He said arrogantly. "Let us focus on saving her. We shall leave thoughts of her death to the wayside until the time it is absolutely needed. For now... we focus on life." I shook my head at his foolishness, and raised the dagger. "You will not have to kill her because I will." Misha looked grim. "I will not kill her.....not really...." I continued. "When the time comes, I will simply kill myself." Misha shouted "NO!?" I shrugged. "What is the difference Misha? Either way, we will both be dead." "No one dies.” He said. "I will not let it happen." I tucked his dagger into my belt and nodded. "It is your responsibility to see to it then." “She will live... you will live... we must focus on life. Death will only weaken the weave." It sounded suspiciously close to an order. "You focus on life.....I am too weary." I said, and I walked away. Misha has avoided me since our little chat, not that I blame him. I have been deluding myself. There are things he loves more than me…things he would sacrifice me for. That knowledge is like a knife in my heart, and every time I look upon him, it twists a little bit deeper. [/QUOTE]

Verification