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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Aust Meliamne" data-source="post: 962" data-attributes="member: 95">This is a background entry in Misha's journal. This is not an actual session but information that fleshes out his background even more so. Enjoy.  Misha’s Journal 10th Leaffal, 1372 DR All this mushy sensitive stuff has gotten me thinking about my past, about Ellyn, and just where did I go wrong? I haven’t seriously thought about this in such a long time, but I can still recall many details as if this all happened yesterday. The streets of Muraan, the slums of Athkatla, the long nights on the road. I can still smell the sweet bread Ellyn would cook for me with that dash of cinnamon I have never been able to find anywhere else. Or the way her green eyes looked at me when I made her angry, I was always particularly good at that. She meant the world to me then, a youth with nothing lose, I was on top of the world, and I felt pretty good for being only seventeen. But I wish to tell this tale correctly, I was only sixteen at the time that I decided to join the ranks of the Shadow Thieves. I was no thief mind you, but I was strong and quick and able to hide and take lone merchants by surprise if need be. I was a local tough, and most of my companions were the same. Though I did not trust them, well only one, Vandal Buckman. Vandal and I had known each other since either of us was old enough to walk and swindle apples from the local bazaar. Where I was strong and smart, he had a knack for being quick and skilled with his hands. Vandal and I were close friends all throughout my youth in Muraan, we had no one else to turn to. We both came from large poor families and our prospects were not good, so we decided to make our own ways. At first we wanted to be heroes like in the tales of adventurers righting wrongs, a childhood fancy I know. Soon reality set in, and we turned our skills to thievery and easy money. Money is a powerful thing for those who have none of their own, and we found the small amounts of wealth intoxicating. Or at least I did. I bought my first longsword at fifteen with my ill-gotten earnings, I felt like quite the rich man when I walked about town with my weapon at my side. Although I was a thief, I had my scruples. I never tried to hurt people on purpose or steal from those I knew, even we low-born types have a sense of decency and honor. Vandal though, he was different, much more harsh then myself, and at times much more dangerous. He was the first between us to join the Shadow Thieves, nearly a year before I did. I began to see him less and less, I was saddened he was my truest friend, at the time. I continued my roguish lifestyle though and it was on one of my jaunts through the bazaar that I had the fortunate luck to run into Ellyn, who was peddling apples at the time. I just love apples, not sure if I mentioned that. I tried with my usual manner to snatch one for myself, and allow my own reputation to allow me to get away with the deed. I mean I was at the toughest and strongest thug in all of the lower ward, who would challenge me? I snatched the apple and began eating, while Ellyn stared at me incredulously, the look in her forest-green eyes were full of anger. She always looked cutest when she was angry, I will admit that. I smiled winsomely and took another bite, she demanded I pay for the apple; the nerve, me pay for an apple in my bazaar. She had much to learn of the politics in this area. Course then she kicked me in the groin, and that was very painful. You know Vallia has a lot in common with Ellyn besides the green eyes I guess. That was a humbling experience to be sure, it took me a few moments to collect myself. Ellyn looked down at me smiling, and gloated, it was then that I noticed from my vantage point her ears and the shape of her eyes, she was a half-elf. I had never seen one in person before, only heard stories. She had curly black hair about shoulder length, and a slender frame, her skin was tanned, as I recall. She was beautiful, and very much not impressed with my presence. Not that I had made a great first impression, but I slowly recovered from the blow and offered to pay for the apple. In fact I paid for every apple she had if she would give me the chance to talk to her. I think her reaction was a slap across my face, then she took my money, and then after some long thoughts she accepted. My kind of woman, I can tell you that for sure. I learned much from Ellyn, she taught me how to speak the Elven language, the ways of love, and even how much sweet bread and honey I could consume at one sitting. We were constant companions, Ellyn and I, she had little family to call her own, and my family had all but forgotten about their youngest boy lost to the streets. Our relationship seemed to change with the winds, we fought as much as we loved each other. It was during one of our arguments, over our future and my own goals that I left her, and ran into Vandal. He had moved up in the world some, the Shadow Thieves had done well for him it seemed. He offered me a place in their ranks and like a fool I accepted just wanting to get away from Ellyn and Muraan. I went to Athkatla and worked as a guard at a Shadow Thief safe-house. The pay was very good, Vandal had not lied about that, and it seemed simple enough. Guard some merchandise by night until the “Movers” picked it up. I really had no idea what I was guarding or for what reason, but at the time ignorance was bliss. The money was intoxicating, so my loyalty for the time being was bought part and parcel. It didn’t matter to me much when I heard news in the tavern about several thousands gold worth of gems and antiquities were smuggled out of the city, I didn’t think twice about it. It had nothing to do with me. Though at the time I had no idea whom I was working for, I was just a guard. It was my job to do what I was told, and get paid for that. Things changed though over time. Vandal was of course rising in this organization and being my friend he gave me a helping hand and got me into the Shadow Thieves proper. I was a hired tough, hired to rough up those who displeased our masters or assist Vandal’s rougher work. I never killed anyone or hurt anyone too bad, but the work got under my skin. I am not the nicest person in the world, but I try to refrain from violence against the weak. Vandal though, had no reservations, he did what had to be done, no matter the cost. That was when I learned just how far Vandal had fallen, when I watched him kill a man in cold blood. We had been sent to find a Mr. Pimmerel, a local scrivener working in the Waft. He had made the mistake of opening a missive that was to be delivered to one of the “Guildmasters”. His fate had been sealed, it seemed and Vandal and myself were sent to deal with this breach of contract. Simple, we rough him up and take his gold and leave him to wonder where he went wrong, I thought. We entered his shop shortly before he planned to close, I assumed, as the sun dipped down behind the horizon. Mr. Pimmerel look stunned to see us enter, I closed the door and watched the entrance as Vandal went to work. I never liked these type of missions, they were distasteful to me, and I don’t like hurting people like this. But the money, was it worth this? Vandal spoke calmly to the man, I am not sure what he said, but the man’s eyes went wide. That was when I saw Vandal draw his dagger and slide into the man’s chest through his ribs. I blinked in astonishment, this could not be happening? Not like this, was this the purpose of our mission, to kill this man? By Selune, I am not a good man, but I do not kill wantonly. I tried to stop him, but the work was done, the man was dead. Vandal looked at me and seemed to be surprised at my actions. I knew then that he had stepped over to a place that I did not want to follow. I thought about our youth, being a hero, we had both fallen so far from our childhood dreams. But I was determined to not sink into the pit alongside Vandal, that was not my path. I ran then, he didn’t chase me, I think he understood why. It didn’t matter though, my time with the Shadow Thieves was at an end, and I returned to Muraan. In many ways a broken man, and yet still only a boy. Ellyn often mentioned that for some time after I had a haunted look in my eyes, I am not quite sure if I have ever ever lost that edge. I returned to Ellyn, I still loved her, and she in turn loved me. I tried to find an honest job to make a living but I had little skill in profession or crafts. I was a warrior and a wanderer. Slowly I became a merc, and took on the name Burning Rose, from the tattoo she had in a place I will not jot down here. But it was nice, I will say that. We were like husband and wife, and for a time it all seemed right. When I was home anyway, I spent much of my time on the road working for one merchant or another. Being away from Ellyn tore me apart emotionally and I longed to be home with her when I could. But to support us I had to do what I could, but maybe that was not enough. I am not sure why, maybe grief, maybe sorrow, maybe out of some twisted love, she took her own life. I returned home from a particularly prosperous journey only to find her laying on our bed, a corpse. She had poisoned herself, as best as I could see. I was horrified, I couldn’t take the sight, and I ran. I have said this before, but I just feel that I am a coward. But I feel very alone at times, in my life anyone I have grown close to I lose. I do not want this to happen to Vallia as well. -Misha “Burning Rose” Koldun</blockquote>

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