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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Aust Meliamne" data-source="post: 966" data-attributes="member: 95">Vallia’s Journal 14th day of The Rotting, 1372 DR So much has happened, none of it good, that I hardly know where to begin. At the end of my last entry, I had just made a complete fool of myself, and I was very worried that I had finally scared Misha away for good…little did I know. Just as I made my unintentional ‘revelation’, we spotted an inn down the road. The fog and rain had gotten worse, and we all felt that stopping would be in our best interests. The inn was called the ‘Smiling Spirit’, but no one was about, which seemed odd. We found some very malnourished animals, and upon entering the inn, one very dead boy. He had been drained of blood…the others seemed to think a vampire was at fault, but I was not so sure. I admit, though, at the time I was distracted with my own concerns. After some pointless discussion, Karanaj and Gruush took the body out back to be buried, and Kay followed them. Misha headed into the kitchen, and I followed, not knowing what else to do. Misha was speaking to me mentally, asking why I was so quiet. I reminded him that he had said he wanted to think. As we talked, Misha was hunting apples; he seems to have an unnatural fondness for them. I found some, and tossed him one. As I did so, we both noticed a puddle in the kitchen. When we tried to look closer, it slithered between the floorboards and disappeared, which worried us both. We did not have much time to investigate however, as Misha started strolling out the door. When I asked where he was going, he nonchalantly said “Something just attacked Karanaj... can't stay idle..." as he went out the door. That infuriating man! I ran after him, of course. He told me as he ran that we needed to talk, he did not like this side of me. I am not really sure what he meant, but I was pleased he wished to talk. As I exited the inn, I saw Karanaj, Gruush, and Kay fighting what appeared to be a blob of slime, undulating wildly. Disgusted, I followed as Misha waded into the fray, cutting the blob down. He managed, apparently, to get covered in slime, however, and he fell to the ground, frozen in position. I thought quickly, and decided to clean him off. Thinking better of using the well, I collected everyone’s water skins and used them to douse him. Misha communicated to me mentally that he was well, and thought he had been paralyzed. He requested to be carried into the house, and I asked Gruush to do so. Misha took this opportunity to begin that talk he referred to, since there was little else he could do. We placed Misha in the innkeeper’s room, and I left Karanaj to change his wet clothes. As I was leaving, Misha said he thought he loved me…and then said don’t forget to clean his sword. I was very surprised, but pleased. I headed to the kitchen, Misha’s sword in hand. While I was looking for something to eat, another blob flew from the ceiling to the floor and vanished. I communicated as much to Karanaj, who came running. There was nothing left to find, however, and we were on our way to Misha’s room when we saw Kay in the common room. Kay appeared to be on edge, peering upstairs. I thought she was just being paranoid, and continued on into Misha’s room by myself. I commenced cleaning his sword carefully, as he fretted. I have to admit, I do enjoy the predicaments he manages to get himself in. I finished cleaning the sword, and placed it near the bed, within reach. Misha thought I was leaving, and seemed a little upset, so I just sat on the bed. An evil idea came to me then, and I began grinning as Gruush came to check on us. He told us that Kay and Karanaj had found another puddle. I told him to investigate, and I would stay to guard Misha. He nodded and left, and I looked at Misha again, mischievously. I don’t know what possessed me, but I tickled him. I think it was the first time I ever heard him laugh, or whatever you would call mental laughter. I laughed too, for the first time in a very long time. We grew serious and he asked me to find his satchel, and get a book from it. I did so, and he told me it was his journal, and that he would like for me to read it. As I was reading, another blob fell, and I called again for Karanaj. Once again, once he arrived, the blob was gone. It was getting to be quite an annoyance. They left again, and I resumed my reading I told Karanaj the journal was very interesting, and he replied that he had seen it. So that is what he wouldn’t tell me. I respect him for keeping Misha’s secret. Karanaj said he was happy for me, but doesn’t think Misha deserves me. Apparently, Misha’s method of pushing people away is very effective; Karanaj seems to have bought it. I will not let him do that to me. I was not at all pleased with Misha’s journal in the beginning. I am not stuck up! And that comment about making myself useful, outside Karanaj’s bed…I could have killed him! I was intrigued by that part about elven wizards though, and was even more surprised when Misha said his name was Aust. He apparently tricked Misha the same way he tricked Karanaj. That evil and…sweet old man. He saw more of the future than he told, apparently. At one point, Karanaj asked what I was doing, sounding a little scandalized. I said I was reading and asked why he had asked. He told me Misha had told him he was getting a massage! I was embarrassed, and proceeded to tickle Misha mercilessly. You know, I rather like it when he’s helpless. I have to admit; I was a little hurt when I read that Karanaj got ‘the good sister’. I read on, and when I reached the part about him having ‘fallen for a princess’ I felt such…relief and happiness. He does seem to think that he is doomed, though, something I am not sure I disagree with. I love him so much I almost wish we hadn’t met, that I hadn’t put him in this danger, and I told him as much. He said he would die for me….that is the problem…I do not want him to. I don’t think I could live with that. He told me he loves me. It’s about time…took him long enough. I told him I loved him too. I did tell him I was sorry about his friend. I cannot help but be jealous, though, that he loved someone like that before me. I began to kiss him, and apparently the paralysis was wearing off, because he actually felt it. He moved some, and stood up. I moved back to give him room to move, and he immediately wanted to know where I was going. I tried to tickle him again, but he just held my arms and kissed me. I didn’t know a kiss could be like that…such…passion. It ended all too quickly, as Misha began to pull on his armor, so he could go to help the others. I cannot deny that I was disappointed. I checked with Karanaj, who told me they had found nothing else in the inn. I pulled on my armor as well, and headed into the common room. As we entered the others were searching for something to light the basement, apparently they had spotted another blob. I, in my brilliance, cast a light spell on Kay, and told her to lead the way. As we came down the stairs, we saw a puddle, which Kay claimed to be wine. I decided to check and swung my sword at it. It reared up, and I got in a good blow, before Misha’s slash splattered me with slime, and I fell to the floor unable to move. Gruush and Misha fell to the slime, as well, leaving only Karanaj and Kay. They managed to chase the creature off, and Karanaj washed us off and dragged us to the common room, by himself. Misha and I took the chance to engage in some witty banter. He also shared the fact that Karanaj does not like him, something I immediately questioned Karanaj about. He was unwilling to talk. I became conscious not long afterwards; perhaps the slime is not so potent on elves… I stood and carried Misha back to the innkeeper’s room. I was so tired; I lay down on the bed next to him. He was able to move again a short time later, and we both discarded our armor and lay back down to go to sleep. I unwound my hair, something I had never done before, which surprised Misha. It falls past my knees, but I never found it particularly beautiful. Misha, however, seemed to disagree. Misha kissed me, and I think sometime during a kiss I fell asleep, but I’m not sure. I do recall him wondering what the others would think about us…but I told him I really didn’t care. That’s not true; of course, I want Karanaj to like him. I really like Karanaj, I think he is a good person, and his opinion does matter to me, but I didn’t want to tell Misha that. Four hours passed, and I awoke as Misha drifted off to sleep. I went to check on the others. Karanaj was asleep, and Gruush and Kay looked very tired. I tried to convince them to sleep, but Kay refused. She must be exhausted…. stubborn halfling. As I sat down, I heard Karanaj call out to Aliya in his sleep…I feel so sorry for him. The night passed uneventfully, and when Karanaj woke up, I returned to Misha’s room and lay down again. As I looked up at the ceiling, I was horrified. It was covered with blobs! I leaned over and kissed Misha, telling him to gather his things quickly and go. About this time I heard Karanaj in my mind, and I knew he had found the same thing I had. I told them all to get out. Misha decided to burn the inn, and for once, I agreed. I headed out and got the wagon ready. Misha comes flying out of the inn carrying…apples…. the fool risked his life for some apples… We lit the inn, just as Kay decided to go back for a horse in the stable. The horse was dead, and Kay is lucky that Karanaj decided to rescue her, pulling her up on his horse. We rode away as fast as we could. We put the burning inn far behind us, and our journey remained uneventful for quite a few days as we passed through the mountains, and finally enter the forests of Cormanthor. I was uncomfortable, not wanting to encounter a group of drow. The rumors had really been flying lately about their occupation of the forest. Misha did not seem to know who the drow were, and does not seem to be afraid of them…. if only he knew. Misha had his arm around me, when suddenly an elf materialized from the woods in front of us. I sat up quickly, pulling away from Misha, in shock. It couldn’t be! But it was…. Thamior. I translated what he said for Karanaj, knowing Misha could understand him. Karanaj mentioned that perhaps I should teach him elven…. not a bad idea. I bristled when he called them scruffy humans, but there was nothing I could say. I do not like Thamior, nor do I trust him. Misha realized right away that he should not give away the fact that he has feelings for me, and Karanaj realized it as well. Misha was less than pleased with Thamior’s attitude. I worry about keeping them apart. I do not need bloodshed. It did not take long to reach the village. The mood was very somber, the few children I saw were walking along quietly, and their mothers eyed my friends with suspicion as they passed. There are few men about either, only a great deal of women. Thamior led us to the center of the village and waited in front of a large dwelling. As the wagon stopped, he moved to the side, holding out his arms for me. I glanced quickly at Misha, hoping he would not do something foolish, and moved to the side and allowed him to help me down. He took me into his arms, and held me very close. It was all I could do not to be sick. He set me down, but would not let go until I broke away from him. He stared after me as I walked into the dwelling, something unreadable in his eyes. I do not like that look. Looking back in my journal, it seems odd that it was exactly 43 years ago, I last saw him. The entry scares me now, even as I must have been scared back then. **********************************************14th day of The Rotting 1329 I saw Thamior Siannodel today…I shudder even to think. I will leave this place before I marry him! Sometimes I think that mother has become weak since father died…she never was able to handle people the way that he did…these marriages! They are a farce. Aliya and I are not possessions to be bartered. Tharivol is just as distasteful. I cannot see him married to Aliya. I know that they are sons of Thain. Mother is afraid of him, he carries much power over our people…yet, and I do not like him. There is something, perhaps a cruel streak…it runs through his sons as well. Mother seeks to cement him to her, but I think she goes about it the wrong way. He seeks domination over her, and using his sons to control her daughters is just the sort of thing he is capable of. I know that Mother does not wish for me to leave, but I do not feel my place is here. If she pushes this marriage, I will go. I’m sorry, Mother, really I am. Maybe Aliya will stay. She was always the nicer one anyway, she has such a sense of duty, but if Tharivol hurts her……….. I do not love Thamior and I cannot get past that. I know Mother is desperate, but I cannot and will not marry him. I wish Father were here. I cannot believe he is dead. I keep expecting to turn a corner and see him…. He would never condone this marriage; he despised Thain and his family. I saw Thamior once, picking on a younger child. He tormented the boy until he cried, and then pushed him into the water. The child could not swim, and Thamior just stood there and laughed as he flailed wildly. Luckily, one of the palace guards came along in time and pulled the boy out. I found out later that the boy had broken one of Thamior’s toys accidentally, and that he was actually his brother! That moment stayed with me, and I cannot be comfortable around Thamior, even today. It is his eyes that make me so uncomfortable, I think, like steel, cold, dull gray. I can see the cruelty in his eyes, and it scares me. I’m only 87 years old; I’m not ready to be married. He’s 133, why would he want to be tied down so soon. It’s all strange to me…. there’s something not right. He was so considerate today, and yet, I feel dirty when he looks at me, disgusted when he touches me. That kiss today, it was all I could do not to be sick. I feel like scrubbing myself. I will not be a whore, not even for Mother. What I would have given to be able to stick a sword through his gut. I will not let him catch me alone again. I should warn Aliya about Tharivol, but I don’t know what to say. He makes me feel strange? She might just laugh at me. We are not as close as we once were, though that may be my fault more than hers. I know she wanted Father’s attention, and felt slighted because he paid much more attention to me. He just didn’t understand her. He was a warrior, and that was our bond. I am jealous of her, I admit that. Perhaps I relished a little too much in his attention, the one thing she didn’t have. Since father’s death, the clerics have been acting rather strange. One follows me almost everywhere I go. I wish I knew why. Elisia even asked the other day if I had ever wondered about the outside world. She said that she had lived someplace called Amn, once, among humans. Ugh. Who would ever want to live among humans? All the ones I’ve seen are ugly, smelly, rude, mean, loud, and disgusting…much like Thamior. But perhaps Amn would be better than staying here……….********************************************** We entered the room and sat down, Thamior leaving briefly to have food brought. He revealed the fact that I was a Princess to everyone, Kay in particular seemed shocked. He also mentioned hiring my friends to investigate the disappearance of some elves. I cannot trust him. It seems to me to be a very clever way of getting them killed. I immediately said I would accompany them, which caused him no small concern. The others picked up on what he thought of them, and began pretending to be a mercenary band. I have to admit they did it well. They began telling stories to raise the price, and almost made me laugh out loud. But Thamior will believe it, he is a fool, and underestimates humans in his prejudice. Misha told me mentally he would like armor and weapons, and a kiss for luck. I warned him that should he voice such thoughts, Thamior would cut him down. He wanted to know why, and I was vague, not wanting to explain then and there. Misha was not pleased, and said that if Thamior touched me, he would kill him. These are complications I do not need. Thamior called some serving girls, apparently disgusted with the way I appeared, and bade them help me into something more suitable, which turned out to be a royal dress…can’t move in these damn things. They unwound my hair and brushed it, and applied all sorts of things to my face. I sighed, but endured it all. When I returned, I’m not sure the others even recognized me. Karanaj asked if it was I under there, and I told him ‘just barely’. We spoke some about Aliya…. I told him I’d been hearing him call her name in his dreams. He told me of his dream, where Aliya is chained to a wall, and he cannot move. I do not like that, it seems too vivid to discount as a mere dream… I told the others I would show them to our lodging, which pleased Thamior not at all, to my pleasure. We left, my arm entwined with Karanaj, who was taking the role of Captain. Thamior did provide a fine house, I will give him that. Each of us has our own room, though I thought he would explode when I insisted the humans be housed with me. I do so enjoy irritating him. Kay and Gruush headed off to their rooms, while I motioned Misha and Karanaj into Misha’s room. I warned Karanaj to stay away from Thamior’s brother, who was apparently also in the village. He is worse than his brother…he is in love with Aliya. Thamior merely seeks to use me. I told them "Thamior and Tharivol Siannodel are sons of a very influential family, they have been promised to me and Aliya since a very young age. Their father commands almost as much power and respect as the queen, and the unions were meant to consolidate the power. Aliya and I were less than pleased..the brothers seem very hard, sometimes cruel. I am not all too sure that their father Thain is not the way that assassins found their way into our palace 43 years ago.” I pulled the circlet off my head as I talked, twisting it in my hands unconsciously. Misha seemed to sense my unhappiness and placed a hand on my shoulder. He tried to convince me not to accompany them into the woods, but I will not let them go alone. I do not trust Thamior not to ambush them. Misha assured me that if Thamior were behind this, we would kill him. He’s wrong. I will kill Thamior…it is my place. I said as much to Misha, who just kissed me. I think it made Karanaj a little uncomfortable. I wish I knew why he dislikes Misha so. I love them both, in different ways; I do not wish to choose between them. I tossed my circlet in frustration, which seemed to bother Karanaj. He thinks I am denying who I am. Perhaps he’s right. Misha tried to lighten the mood, talking about selling the circlet. He does know how to make me laugh, even when I’m not sure if he’s serious or not. Karanaj looked very tired, so I sent him to bed. Misha and I continued to talk, and kiss. He said he could get used to that…. I could too. He said that he loved me, carried me in his heart. I had never felt such joy. I tried to give him the circlet, but he would not take it. He told me to leave before he did something, but did not finish his sentence. I moved closer and he warned me not to tempt him. I asked him if I would do that, and he said ‘No, of course not.’ as he threw me on the bed and I laughed. I had never told him, but I had never…. been with a man before, nor had Aliya. It was…not what I expected, but it was wonderful. Misha commented that we should have done that long ago and I told him that back in the inn in Amn I had offered to make him a man. He was surprised and claimed he thought I had been joking. He said he had been such a fool…and I just laughed. He said he would try to be a better person…he really doesn’t think much of himself. He is a far better person than he appears; it’s just buried deep inside. I told him about it being my first time, and he did not answer as I expected. I understand that Misha is not the most…. tactful…. but what he said hurt a lot more than I thought anything could. He leaned back and said, "It was pretty good being with an elf. Human... half-elf... elf... yep covered all the territory I wanted to cover. Just a little mental musing... you were great wildcat..." I could not believe my ears, and I thanked him very coldly, as I rose, dressed quickly and left. I did not want him to see me cry.</blockquote>

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