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Message: <blockquote data-quote="JesterPoet" data-source="post: 1662033" data-attributes="member: 138">I'm sorry, but I've got to back 3catcircus on this one.  I've long felt (every time I read a thread saying "I've got to kick my friend out of my gaming group, how do I do it") that the feeling of creating the perfect RPG atmosphere contributes significantly to the antisocial stigma of the "gamer."It's one thing to kick someone out of a group that doesn't fit when you picked them up from an ad at the gaming store, or a post online.  Kicking out a friend is something totally different.Sure, you can hide behind your "Geek Social Fallacies" but the reality is that kicking a friend out of a group because they aren't a good roleplayer is a nasty thing to do.  And a very unfriendly thing to do.If your friend is offensive, and hurting the feelings of others at the table, and it can't be resolved by talking to him/her, okay, there's a serious problem.  If your friend is abusing drugs/alcohol, and is causing a disturbance, not to mention making a situation dangerous for those around him/her, okay, there's another serious problem.  I'm sure there are other serious problems too...However, we're talking about someone who likes to roll dice more than roleplay (and before we get into a discussion about how we should all respect each other's type of gaming, please note that I am much more of a "role" player than "roll" player).  So that's ruining your game?  Big freakin' deal.  You're not voting on world-changing events here... you're playing D&D.  By asking this person, a friend among a group of friends, to leave the group because you don't like the way he/she plays, you will be hurting their feelings, for a shallow, stupid reason.The game is nothing.  The game is fleeting and insignificant.  It is true that you may get over kicking someone out and be able to joke about it down the road.  But it's also VERY likely that you won't be able to.  Suppressed animosity could eventually come to the surface, and, if it does, you will have ruined something valuable for the sake of a game.This is why some gamers don't have friends.  To be so intense that you put the game before personal relationships is sad and disturbing to others.  To do so invites, encourages and, in a way, justifies, ostracism.  It's a nasty thing to do, and it takes a nasty person to do it, IMO.Mind you, I don't know the poster in this thread.  What I do know, is that I don't have enough information to know that her particular player isn't offensive or dangerous or whatnot.  SO, this situation could be different.  What I do know, however, is that there is a disturbing trend of people supporting "dumping" a friend for the "good of the game" with the same lack of information that I have, both in this thread and in others.  I wouldn't do that, and I hope to all that is holy that the majority of other people wouldn't do it either.  Please, value your friendships.  They're among those things that you simply don't realize the value of until they're gone.  We're not talking about "friendship before all" here... We're talking about friendship before a game.</blockquote>

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