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Message: <blockquote data-quote="SiderisAnon" data-source="post: 3645657" data-attributes="member: 44949">I too agree that talking to the person and giving them some honesty is a really good idea. "Restart in secret" is just cheesy. It's a horrible cop-out. If you don't like gaming with the person, let them know. If no one ever tells they WHY they don't want to game with them, they have no real hope of ever improving their play style.I have had to remove a number of players from my game over the years. For most of them, it was fairly painless. For some, a little less so. Maybe these examples will help someone else.One player showed up less than half the time. I spoke to him, said the group needed people who showed up regularly (we had 5-6 players, so losing one wasn't a problem), and if he couldn't show up, he couldn't play with us till his schedule cleared. He quit at the time, but played with us later in several different campaigns.One young lady only showed up because her boyfriend was in the game. She didn't play, she socialized. When she did try to play, it was all about having all the attention on her. I told her that if she didn't want to play the game, she shouldn't be playing. In her case, I did NOT tell her the rest of the group agreed, because that would have really hurt her feelings. She ended up dropping out of the game because she "wasn't have any fun anyway." (Yes, honesty is good policy, but sometimes you can leave things out.)I had one player who was so awful that everyone in the group wanted him gone, except for two people. One was the player in question. One was the player who brought him into the group. That player might have wanted him gone, but I chose to not ask him to save him some grief. I took a vote of everyone else in the group on through phone calls -- it was unanimous. I then called the friend who brought the bad player in and told him what was going on and said I wasn't asking for his vote to keep him from being in a bad position. I called the bad player, told him the bad news and a couple of sentences of why (basically, that he was completely disruptive), and I also told him that I had not asked his friend who brought him in to vote because I already had a majority before I called him. I never heard from the bad player again, but I also didn't hear anything about him taking it out on the guy who brought him in.I had the player with unfortunate hygiene. However, in his case, we had already made it clear that he either fix it or he wouldn't be welcome. With this guy, it was fairly easy, because his hygiene was such a problem that he'd been told about it by numerous people. He did end up getting kicked from the group, but because he was very obviously cheating, denied it when I warned him, and kept doing it. So, that solved the hygiene issue too. (He was only there for maybe four session, having originally been brought in as a favor to my girlfriend at the time.)I had a player like this. He had been a friend for a number of years and his personality got progressively worse over that time until he was a complete jerk in the game who sucked all the fun out of the room and made me consider giving up DMing. I tried to have the talk with him on three occasions and it failed miserably each time. His ego simply wouldn't let him admit he could be any tiny bit at fault. So, after the third conversation I called him a few days later and told him that I thought we should not game together for a few months because we were obviously butting heads too often and needed a cool-down period. He's still a jerk out of game, so he's not getting invited back to any gaming group.Unfortunately, this player no longer speaks to me. However, this is not really about the gaming, but because his personal life has gotten to the point where he's really not speaking with anyone anymore. *shrug* Some people you cannot help.</blockquote>

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