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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Treebore" data-source="post: 2423090" data-attributes="member: 10177">Well, as you know, I'ver been there and done that and you've even met two of my three kids. Early on rely on the advice you get and read in the books, but do learn to trust your instincts.Definitely get a handle on your anger issues, whatever they are, I've never seen you lose your temper in person. But the worst feeling in the world is if you let your anger hurt those little babies, so work really hard to avoid such an ugly situation, those aren't memories you want to carry for the rest of your life.What helps me, is primarily just keeping it in, and venting it elswhere. Plus, when you know your getting to the "point" learn to walk away before you go off. Tell "N" to let you go when this happens, so she knows why your doing it.Plus, with your (my) kids, when your looking at them, I keep it in the front of my mind how much I love them, how it is my job to protect and teach them, so I find that I really don't lose my temper nearly as often as I would with other people or children.But rule number one for anger control issues, never punish your child while you are angry. Force yourself to wait until you are "really" over it and won't get worked up again.Kids make mistakes, lots of them, with many of them being repeats. Just realize they are kids, and yes it can take several times before they start to remember the right way to behave, no matter how BIG the punishment was the last 2, 3, 5, 12 times. Sooner or later they will get it, hopefully soon the vast majority of the time.It will be a big help if both you and N are on the same page on all issues of discipline, if not, get as close as you can, and definitely defer to her while your temper is flared up.Plus, when they are older, such as late in their 3rd year, or maybe never, watch for them to start intentionally playing you and N against each other. My son that you met did this, to the point where it took a lot to get my wife to "see" it. It took a while for me to catch on in the first place. I think he was 4 or 5 when he did it, but he could have been as old as 7. You did notice my senile tendencies when we gamed together, right?My other two never tried to play us against each other.Well, I'm on the east coast right now, so it is very late (2:00 AM) and since I need to get up in about 6 hours I had better go to bed. If I think of any other words of wisdom that may actually be useful I'll most likely e-mail them to you.Congrats on the twins, there are advantages to doing it two at a time. But there are disadvantages that may make you wonder if it balances out. The biggest disadvantage is probably that you and N won't outnumber them. You'll figure out what I mean as you get the experience.Your kids birthdays should be within a weeks of my youngest. Well, good night.</blockquote>

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