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Message: <blockquote data-quote="BiggusGeekus" data-source="post: 2424351" data-attributes="member: 1014">Hey congratulations!OK, well you're going to be giving up a lot of material things and gaining a lot of immaterial things.  You seem to have a grasp on that, so I won't belabor the point.As for dealing with it, I suggest the following: each of you gets at least two 45-guilt-free minutes all to themselves a week.  Exercise, read, goof off, do whatever.  But lock down those times and make it clear that unless something's on fire or bleeding, the person getting the break is not to be disturbed.  You won't be able to do this the first 3 or 4 months, but it's something to do long term.Do you have family in the area?  When the kids can roll over by themselves use them for babystitting.  Try to have at least one "date night" a month.  Don't game.  Don't invite other people.  Take her out to a movie or something.  Do it during the day until you are comfortable with leaving the kids with other people at night.  I completely blew this and as a result I didn't take my wife out for about a year.  Time passes by like lightning with kids.  You blink and all of the sudden they're walking.  Gaming is going to drop to a lower priority unless your buddies also have kids.  There is a definate, tangible rift between the child-free and the breeders.  I still have difficulty telling my buddies that I'm going to be late to a game because I haven't put my daughter to bed in a few days and I miss it.  All this being said, make sure she gets her "girl's nights" and you make sure you get your "guys nights".  Again, good luck doing this the first few months, but you'll need to do it.Kids don't need much, but what they do need is incredibly important.  They need a stable routine.  They need love.  And they need to see you and your wife in a healthy relationship.  They will be patterning their behavior based on how you two treat each other.  I firmly believe that the relationship betwen the parents is the most important one in the house.  So listen to your wife and make sure your communication is good.Best of luck, man.</blockquote>

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