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<blockquote data-quote="BSF" data-source="post: 1695895" data-attributes="member: 13098"><p><em>Casting Raise Thread</em></p><p></p><p>Alrighty! (Yes, I realize that alright really is not a word.)</p><p></p><p>I am gaining enough distance to look back on my stories and find ways to rip them apart and put them back together. I'm not sure I am quite ready to revisit <a href="http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1480955" target="_blank">Cleansing</a>. I want to, bit is a story about a psychotic and I don't want to go there mentally right now. If I rewrite a story right now, it will be something else instead.</p><p></p><p>Eeralai and I were talking about writing this morning. She got up to go check on our son and make sure he wasn't quietly summoning in dark things from beyond space. Something slapped me in the face about <a href="http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1632812" target="_blank">Delusional</a>. Mythago's comments in the <a href="http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1643603" target="_blank">story judgement</a> include the excellent point that a demon like Lou should have been able to mess around with a booking record and keep Darren out of jail. Duh! In retrospect it seemed silly and was enough to relegate the story to an interesting background piece in my head. But there aer aspects of the story I enjoy and I keep thinking that if I could fix some of the flaws, maybe it would be worthy of a rewrite.</p><p></p><p>How well would a correction work? How do I fix the fundamental flaw of Lou's power not springing Darren from jail? What if I had Dr. Clayton pass off Mythago's critique as a reason why Darren is clearly full of dung? What if I had Lou then tell Darren that he, as a demon, can't touch legal documents. Maybe Lou has a cousin on the devil side of the fallen angel tree that handles documents. Maybe Lou can go chat with somebody in Hell for a bit and call in a couple of favors. Would that work? Would it be too contrived?</p><p></p><p>I know there are secondary issues that would need to change after that. I'm good with that. Heck, I would probably need to go through and revise my informal "style guide" for that storyverse. It is a subtle thing, but the demons in <strong>Rainmaker</strong> and <strong>Delusional</strong> have names that phonetically begin with "Lu". That was a conscious decision and one I would need to change around since Lucifer works much better for a devil than for a demon. If I am going to differentiate between the two, perhaps I should have a different style for each? Alternately, perhaps Lou can't touch legal documents because Lucifer is the one that has powers over legal documents? </p><p></p><p>I'm thinking as I type. Gee, is it that noticable? The point is that I might be able to get away with Lou not springing Darren from jail because he can't touch legal documents. That's a different demon/devil schtick and he won't go there. Would that work? Could I make the story better by doing that?</p><p></p><p>Then I just need to figure out how a real psychiatrist would go about declaring somebody legally sane to stand trial. </p><p></p><p>Does anybody have any thoughts? How about advice? Is the story worth correcting? Would it be interesting to read a tightened up version? Or am I better off leaving it as background material for the <strong>Rainmaker</strong> storyverse that keeps grabbing me by the shoulders and telling me stories?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BSF, post: 1695895, member: 13098"] [i]Casting Raise Thread[/i] Alrighty! (Yes, I realize that alright really is not a word.) I am gaining enough distance to look back on my stories and find ways to rip them apart and put them back together. I'm not sure I am quite ready to revisit [url=http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1480955]Cleansing[/url]. I want to, bit is a story about a psychotic and I don't want to go there mentally right now. If I rewrite a story right now, it will be something else instead. Eeralai and I were talking about writing this morning. She got up to go check on our son and make sure he wasn't quietly summoning in dark things from beyond space. Something slapped me in the face about [url=http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1632812]Delusional[/url]. Mythago's comments in the [url=http://www.enworld.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1643603]story judgement[/url] include the excellent point that a demon like Lou should have been able to mess around with a booking record and keep Darren out of jail. Duh! In retrospect it seemed silly and was enough to relegate the story to an interesting background piece in my head. But there aer aspects of the story I enjoy and I keep thinking that if I could fix some of the flaws, maybe it would be worthy of a rewrite. How well would a correction work? How do I fix the fundamental flaw of Lou's power not springing Darren from jail? What if I had Dr. Clayton pass off Mythago's critique as a reason why Darren is clearly full of dung? What if I had Lou then tell Darren that he, as a demon, can't touch legal documents. Maybe Lou has a cousin on the devil side of the fallen angel tree that handles documents. Maybe Lou can go chat with somebody in Hell for a bit and call in a couple of favors. Would that work? Would it be too contrived? I know there are secondary issues that would need to change after that. I'm good with that. Heck, I would probably need to go through and revise my informal "style guide" for that storyverse. It is a subtle thing, but the demons in [b]Rainmaker[/b] and [b]Delusional[/b] have names that phonetically begin with "Lu". That was a conscious decision and one I would need to change around since Lucifer works much better for a devil than for a demon. If I am going to differentiate between the two, perhaps I should have a different style for each? Alternately, perhaps Lou can't touch legal documents because Lucifer is the one that has powers over legal documents? I'm thinking as I type. Gee, is it that noticable? The point is that I might be able to get away with Lou not springing Darren from jail because he can't touch legal documents. That's a different demon/devil schtick and he won't go there. Would that work? Could I make the story better by doing that? Then I just need to figure out how a real psychiatrist would go about declaring somebody legally sane to stand trial. Does anybody have any thoughts? How about advice? Is the story worth correcting? Would it be interesting to read a tightened up version? Or am I better off leaving it as background material for the [b]Rainmaker[/b] storyverse that keeps grabbing me by the shoulders and telling me stories? [/QUOTE]
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