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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rel" data-source="post: 2110172" data-attributes="member: 99">I respect your right to disagree, fusangite, but I assure you that I was not "jumping the gun" if, by using that phrase, you think that my advice was flippant or not well considered.  If I were to name the top two reasons that I've seen relationships turn bad and eventually destroy themselves, the first reason would be "lack of trust".  The second would be "lack of respect".I'm saying that if she does not respect Likuidice and his enjoyment of his hobby then this relationship will almost certainly end badly anyway.  Therefore he risks nothing by making a stand over something like this.If we were talking about a one-time "unreasonable demand" then I would advise nothing of the sort.  If, for example, he had been planning for months to go to GenCon or another gaming event and she suddenly decided that she wanted him to go with her to visit her parents instead, then I'd have probably advised that he give in with the understanding that in the future he wanted a bit more consideration.  But we're talking about her demanding that he give up a hobby that has been a substantial part of his life and one that he would wish to pursue presumably for many years to come.Every time he hears a friend talk about the cool game they had last week or pops onto ENWorld or drives past the local game store, he's going to think about the fact that he's not gaming.  And it's all because of HER!  That will wear away at you over time and Likuidice will probably become resentful and unpleasant.  And that's assuming that she doesn't try and clean up other aspects of his personality that she doesn't like.  Who needs it?!If the person that you cling to in this world as your mate is also the primary source of your misery then you ain't doin' something right.  Yes, in a committed relationship, that person has the right to ask for certain concessions from time to time, even if they're a tad on the unreasonable side.  We all do it.  But we should also expect that, deep down, they have our happiness in mind and want us to take joy in life.  Telling Likuidice that he should give up his hobby because she thinks it is "silly" is nothing but a power play.Maybe I've been spoiled by having a great relationship with my wife, but I'd rather be alone and at least free to pursue my interests than to be with someone who wants to squash my happiness.YMMV</blockquote>

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