Let's be racist!

[Summer-Knight925]

**NOTE this thread is only for fantasy races (although you can say 'humans' but not any variation of "human races" [IE Africans, Asians, Europeans] as this is not the aim of this thread, this thread is for jokes about gnomes, elves, and martians)


Well, hopefully you read the note above and you understand the aim of this.

At my table there are a few 'racist' terms we use to describe halflings and dwarves, I'd like to hear some of yours to describe other races.

If you use a race out of the "Core Fantasy" than please note where they are from.

"Core Fantasy Races" are your Humans, elves, halflings (or hobbits), Dwarves, Orcs (orks, ores) goblins (goblinoids, please list what game/story) and giants.

So if you're using a D-Bee from Rifts or a Tau joke, you would have to say "A tau walks into a bar..."--40K

just to clear up what theyre from.


So here, go nuts with racism! (again, read the note above, I do not want to get kicked off for racial terms used in hate [however calling a halfling a filfthy pocker knocker is okay])

 

[Malruhn]

My references are all for D&D/fantasy games.

For anything under 4', I've always used, "Stunty," and it's worked well. Elves have notoriously been known as "fairies" or "forest demons" depending upon the circumstance.

And Orcs are just called, "Sir." (sorry, bad song reference!).

Half-anythings are just called, "Breeds" if you can determine that they aren't "pure". I always warn new players that a half-elf is as appreciated as a mixed-race child in 1950's Southern USA (please note that I am from Alabama). Racism is alive and well in my campaign world.

There is a nation (race) of humans in my world that are famous mariners and infamous tradesmen. They are used to describe impossibilities (Just as likely to meet a Paludan slut!) because they NEVER give things away and they ALWAYS get the upper end of a business deal. "That cave is as dark as a Paludan purse!" (as in: it is uber-dark because it never gets opened!).

 

[Aramax]

3 half Orcs walk into a bar,the fourth one uses the door!

 

[Rechan]

I liked Dragon Age's "Knife ears" for elves.

 

[Asmor]

[sblock=Sexually suggestive joke sblocked for your protection...]What do a female half-orc and the party's cleric have in common?

You don't really appreciate either 'til they go down on ya.[/sblock]

 

[Michael Silverbane]

Q: What's the difference between an orc and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you cut up an orc.

 

[Gentlegamer]

I had a player who hated halflings.

I called him an anti-Hobbite.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Term for humans as used by shorter races: "Longshanks"

Term for dwarves as used by elves: "Kegs", "Barrels", "Moles", "Badgers", "Lumps"

Term for elves as used by dwarves: "Treehuggers", "Prancers", "Twigs"

 

[Quickleaf]

An oldie but a goodie. Halflings. "Half of whats?"

And one that I hear for the party's Goliath who adventures alongside a gnome bard. "Gnome-chucks."

Yeah that was a groaner.

 

[Richards]

In my campaign, an orcish term for elves is "dainties." And half-breed races (regardless of the parent races involved) are often just referred to as "mongrels." (It irritates the half-elves to be lumped into the same derogatory term as the half-orcs.)

Johnathan