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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Libertad" data-source="post: 9675310" data-attributes="member: 6750502"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/S1WMRDk.png" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " data-size="" style="width: 172px" />Everybody Dies in a Dungeon is a subversion of the typical adventure, where the PCs are goblins guarding a throne room in a dungeon which has a secret door to the treasure vault. The adventure is linear and passive in that the PCs are standing guard as they receive word from a goblin messenger that a foolish lonesome human ventured into the dungeon. Said human, in fact, is the main antagonist: an overpowered solo adventurer by the name of Vashon Dumiay!The PCs are then given orders by their bugbear boss to guard the room they’re in with their lives. Over the course of time, the messenger will continue returning to the PCs with increasingly nervous status updates as the adventurer makes their way through successive rooms of traps and monsters. The PCs have a limited time frame to set up defenses of their own, such as building a makeshift ballista, blocking the door with heavy objects, and looking through wooden crates that have just about every nonmagical item from the PHB. The treasure room is guarded by a poison dart trap full of valuable art objects, but nothing that can conventionally be used in combat.When Vashon Dumiya reaches the throne room, he knows of a secret area due to a clue obtained in an off-screen adventure, so he cannot be dissuaded from leaving the room or dungeon. He is a CR 9 human who is effectively a high-level Fighter* with relevant class features, and a Cloak of Misty Step that casts the spell of the same name up to 3 times per day. The survivable version of this adventure makes Vashon an injured Knight with 25 hit points remaining.*Which is odd, as the descriptive text part of his illustration describes Vashon as a paladin.Thoughts: The “reverse dungeon” concept is a rare but interesting thought exercise, and having seen it better-used in other sourcebooks, this adventure is a letdown. The PCs are pretty much just waiting for the inevitable rather than exploring or taking charge themselves, and there’s no “win condition” like in some of the other adventures in this book. I rate it 2/10.<img src="https://i.imgur.com/Egj9HIx.png" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " data-size="" style="width: 315px" />Everybody Dies on a Lightning Train is an Eberron-specific adventure where the PCs are hired to rescue a hostage held on a lightning rail passing near the Mournlands. Their patron is vague on the details, only that the hostage is of vital importance in preventing conflict from erupting in the region. In reality, the “hostage” is Professor Drumwit, who is voluntarily on the train and possesses information about the Lord of Blades’ forces. The warforged warlord is aware of this, and is plotting to stage a kidnapping of him…personally!The adventure starts on an airship where the PCs meet a human warrior known as Mr. Green, next to a giant eagle named Bagel, the latter of whom is actually the Lord of Blades in a polymorphed disguise. Although Mr. Green has both written instructions and equipment to stage the false rescue, he is comically incompetent. First, he accidentally drops a “Barbarian in a Box,” accidentally activating the magic item which causes an axe-wielding warrior to materialize with a war cry before being awkwardly summoned back into the magic item. Then, partway through the mission briefing, Mr. Green reads the command word for opening the airship’s hatch that causes him, Bagel, and the PCs to start falling to the ground, with the lightning rail far below.The PCs have the opportunity to grab several items relevant to their mission during the descent: one Feather Token per PC to cast Feather Fall on themselves, Mr. Green’s written instructions for the mission, and the Barbarian in a Box. Mr. Green will be attacked and carried off by an awakened wyvern by the name of Theodore Trout. The wyvern will swiftly return and attempt to engage the surviving PCs in a conversion regarding his backstory while they’re falling: he was awakened by a druid who he is trying to make amends to for eating his paladin friend back when he used to be a “regular” beast pre-awakening. The druid is actually one of the PC’s uncles, and if brought up Theodore will offer to help the PCs during their mission, such as helping them safely descend to the train.The lightning rail has 4 cars, and only one contains Professor Drumwit. The other three are decoys warded with magic traps that deal lightning damage when their hatches are touched. The real car contains six humans using the Guard stat blocks. The written instructions say to toss the Barbarian in a Box into the car. If this is done, said barbarian will defeat the guards offscreen in 4 rounds, but will be too wounded to contribute any further in the adventure. He offers to regale the party with his poetry if they’re willing. The only thing standing between the PCs and Professor Drumwit is an intelligent construct named Ogred serving as a door lock, who will only open if a secret pass-phrase is said. Mr. Green’s written instructions contain it, and being immune to all damage Ogred cannot be conventionally destroyed.The inevitable TPK occurs when the PCs come to “rescue” Mr. Drumwit, who will quickly inform the party that he has not been kidnapped and is here of his own accord. At this point, “Bagel” will fly into the train car, closing the hatch behind him as he reverts to his true form. After evilly announcing “we meet again” to the Professor, the Lord of Blades says that he’s needed for his plans of world domination and then engage the party in combat. The warforged will make use of Animate Objects to bring furniture to life in combat, and can have said objects grapple the Professor. The Keeping It Spontaneous sidebar suggests having the Lord provide witty retorts to each PC’s attack, drawing upon his earlier observations of their successes and failures during the adventure. The survivable portion of the adventure changes the Lord of Blades into a warforged warrior instead.Thoughts: Just reading this adventure is fun, and it has a nice mixture of action and comedy. In true Eberron style, the PCs are practically thrust into danger via the mistimed command word, yet with the risks being surprisingly balanced for 1st-level PCs. Save for the inevitable TPK, of course! My only main criticism is that the sentient lock can, well, “softlock” the party’s progress if they don’t have Mr. Green’s instructions. I would’ve preferred other ways for the PCs to get access to Professor Drumwit. 9/10.<img src="https://i.imgur.com/xmYDO9I.png" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " data-size="" style="width: 393px" />Everybody Dies in Wildspace is the final adventure of this book, taking place in the Spelljammer setting. The PCs are part of a secondary retrieval team waiting for a report from the primary team who were investigating a derelict vessel. The first team has been captured by space clowns, which for those not familiar with the setting can be summed up as <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_Klowns_from_Outer_Space" target="_blank">clowns from a horror movie.</a> When a surviving team member returns and dies on the bridge with an ominous warning to “beware the squeakers,”* the party is ordered by the captain of their ship to find out what happened to the first team.*A reference to the squeaking sound the clowns’ shoes make when they walk.The vessel is a 3-story, 12-room dungeon crawl, with various traps and atmospheric details reminiscent of a creepy circus. For example, magical lights create moving spotlights; brightly-colored ichor drips from the walls and ceiling, dealing acid damage to those who touch it; and balloons with painted smiley faces on them serve as magical surveillance for the clowns, which if popped explode and deal acid damage to those adjacent. At a DM-determined point in the crawl, one room will fill with fiendish bubbles, causing those who cannot dodge them via a Dexterity save to gain altered physical and personality traits in line with a demented clown.Only one dead crew member can be found normally in this adventure, and she has some higher-tech weapons on her person for the PCs to loot. The remaining three crew members (and the TPK) are in the lowest level of the vessel. Down here, five space clowns lie in wait, four using their innate powers to disguise themselves as space hamsters as they wait for their fifth member to make a dramatic entrance. The crew members are unconscious, their bodies trapped in hard taffy. The space clowns are preserving them to eat for later, and the taffy can be chipped away by pouring flasks of oil on it as well as conventional damage. No stats are provided for the crew members if they happen to be healed awake.Unlike the other TPK monsters in this book, Space Clowns are much lower in terms of Challenge Rating, being 2. That being said, five at once are still incredibly deadly for a party of 4 1st-level PCs. In terms of stats they are lightly-armored (13 AC) but have a good amount of hit points (58). Their innate spells are non-offensive in nature, such as Prestidigitation, Mirror Image, and Spider Climb, and up to 3 times a day they can magically disguise themselves as an equivalent-size or smaller creature or object. Their primary methods of attack are a melee lightning shock or a ranged ray gun that deals psychic damage, the latter of which causes a target to find everything hilariously funny on a failed Wisdom save, becoming incapacitated for 1 minute.Should the PCs seek to escape and make their way to their original vessel, the captain orders the ship to leave the derelict vessel, realizing that the missing crews are a lost cause. The survivable version of this adventure makes it so that only 1 space clown is faced by the party, and suggests any PCs knocked to 0 hit points awake later trapped in the taffy so they have a second chance of surviving.Thoughts: Spelljammer has always been one of the sillier settings out there, so doing a Killer Klowns From Outer Space style dungeon crawl is incredibly appropriate. The bulk of the pre-TPK dangers come in the form of traps that are unlikely to kill PCs, but do a good job of building up tension in the atmosphere. I rate it an 8/10.Thoughts So Far: While I wasn’t much impressed with Dungeon, the final two adventures more than made up for this. Lightning Rail is my favorite one in this book, and the one I’d be most eager to run.Final Thoughts: Faster, Purple Worm packs a lot of content for a book of its size, and the adventures have enough variety to avoid feeling stale and by-the-numbers. They do vary in quality and appeal, but there should be something in here for everyone. I also like how each adventure has survivable modifications for groups that may not be fond of the anthology’s unorthodox concept, which helps make it more usable in conventional play. The main weakness of Faster, Purple Worm is that the adventures are quite short, even for 1st-level ones, so some gaming groups may breeze through them quicker than expected. I definitely recommend this product for gamers looking for a unique change of pace.</blockquote>

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