Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="(un)reason" data-source="post: 6027212" data-attributes="member: 27780">Dragon Issue 294: April 2002part 6/10Bazaar of the truly Bizarre:  Man, it's been ages since we got a selection of joke items in the bazaar. A good 10 years, actually. Man I've missed that. Still, here we go again, albeit with greater attention paid to game balance. Lets see if they manage to be fun in spite of that. Flaming Shields aren't actually magical, they just have pockets of nitroglycerine attached to the front. This means that they're potentially hazardous to you as well. Hopefully the construction of the shield will protect you, but if this was real life I certainly wouldn't trust something like this. Ready-drink Helms are another attempt to deal with the potion access problem. With a compartment keeping them safe and a bunch of straws leading down, you'll look ridiculous, but you'll be able to drink them pretty much hands free. Watch out for big maces aimed at your head. Extension Spears go ka-chunk outwards, once again, purely mechanically. Don't see why this is particularly comical. Like sword-canes, it's a perfectly legitimate equipment mod. Stilt Boots, ok, I'll admit to a little amusement at them. They have soles that can extend and contract to your taste, adding up to 2' to your height. Get Sarkozy a pair for his birthday. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue    :p"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" /> Extenders are another mechanical device, basically just hands onna stick. We have these in reality as well. I'm not impressed. Gnome Backpacks let small characters ride medium sized ones. Most undignified for a gnome, but when have they cared about that. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue    :p"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" /> It does open up quite a few tricks, so there is some fun to be had here. False Hooks have an interesting mechanism that means they can collapse behind you, foiling anyone trying to follow you up the rope. Again, it's not really funny, but it is useful. You'll laugh about it in the pub afterwards. Gamers vs Girlfriends: Ah yes, the good old sexist stereotype jokes. I though the political correctness brigade killed them off for good in the 90's. Guess I was wrong. And of course, putting in jokes aimed at both sides of this argument just makes everyone feel stereotyped and demeaned. So this is a resurgence of old school material that just makes me roll my eyes. There are enough jokes out there that we really don't need to return to this particular tired old wellspring. Find some new ones. There's certainly enough interesting new references being created by the internet. Try pulling some of those out and twisting them in punny directions.</blockquote>

Verification