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Message: <blockquote data-quote="(un)reason" data-source="post: 6211990" data-attributes="member: 27780">Dragon Issue 342: April 2006part 4/6The ecology of the adventurer: Our token joke article this year is this little piece by Tony Moseley. Essentially the Scary Movie to the Ecology of the Kobold's Scream, this is a whimsical little IC one in which the kobold shaman of a tribe talks about their experience with adventurers, and the horrible deaths that likely await members of the tribe. A ridiculous scenario is set up, and then used as a way of riffing on all sorts of subjects. We see a parody of the old 1st ed players handbook cover. Morgan Ironwolf returns as a truly ridiculous multiclass character that I'm not sure whether to be scared of, or to laugh at how suboptimal she is for a 20th level character, we get feats that rival last year's commoner entry for sheer stupidity, it's all rather gonzo. While this does manage to raise a few vague smiles from me, what it really does is remind me of the association of monster hunter ecologies, and how much I miss having fiction in here regularly. Their april ones managed to be both funnier than this, and still have more stuff that you could actually use in a serious game. :sigh: You can do better than this.  Wormfood turns into a bazaar of the bizarre. The players have (hopefully) just unearthed the ruins of a secret order, which holds vital clues to the defeat of Kyuss and co. Can they capitalise on this to bring about a suitably dramatic conclusion to the adventure path? I guess that's up to you, but this list of treasures certainly can't hurt. Amulets of light give you permanent consecration. Isn't that more a landscaping thing than personal wear? Well, if it stops undead walking all over you, you'll thank the designer. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue    :p"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" /> Breathdrinker swords can absorb breath weapons, and then unleash them on the next creature you hit. As usual with something like this, save the effect for something that isn't immune to their own damage type. Cloaks of the Sorcerer-King give you various dragon emulating powers. How very athasian of you. Enjoy the versatility of being able to choose your aspect and which energy type you're going to enhance today. Corporeal Lodestones shield you from ethereal screwage. Not useful all the time, but the kind of thing the paranoid delight in packing just in case. Doomslayer Bows let you emulate Bard the Bowman, and find the weak spot on whatever you're fighting. They're pretty neat in general combat too. Strength bonus on top of the regular enhancement bonus. Someone's been boning up on how to twink the item creation rules. Dragonbane Scepters help you penetrate draconic SR. What spells you can bring to bear on them is of course up to you, unlike most staves. The kind of thing you only pack if you know you're going to need it. Elixirs of Draconic Essence also give you powers based upon dragons, with general physical enhancements and a breath weapon appropriate to the colour. Phylacterys of Protection from Evil give you a permanent spell effect as long as you wear them. Again. Just wear a cross like any good christian. Quicksilver Cloaks let you get in and out of places with ease, and protect you from paralysis. Another good reason to strip captives before you tie them up. Rings of Death Ward give you the effect of that spell as long as you wear them. Meh. Do we need stuff like this for every spell in the book? The Shield of the Sun looks good and unleashes sunbeams on command. That'll make having a cleric in the team slightly less essential. The Shroud of Undeath makes undead fail to notice you. But you do have to wear it on the outside and look stupid to any living people around. Yawn Seen stuff like this before. And really, who's going to call adventurers on their stupid outfits these days when they're all wearing them. Skulls of Dragonform are yet another draconic transformation device. Have the PC's just been fighting dragons in the actual campaign? Are they about too? This definitely seems like a pretty pointed hint. Better watch out, given how scary dragons can get these days.</blockquote>

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