NOW LIVE! Today's the day you meet your new best friend. You don’t have to leave Wolfy behind... In 'Pets & Sidekicks' your companions level up with you!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Theo R Cwithin" data-source="post: 7978066" data-attributes="member: 75712">On GoblinsThough they vary widely in form and temperament, all goblinoids are the same kind of creature, and all start life as goblincobbles[1]. These are waxy pumpkin-sized lumps of a sebaceous material that accumulates in pits and crevices wherever goblinoids (or their corpses) congregate. When a goblincobble is properly tended by goblin shamans, it melts away, leaving behind a moist but otherwise fully-functional goblin[2].New goblinoids grow over time. The majority of these creatures live and die as ordinary goblins. Aside from those, a significant fraction eventually develop some degree of intellect and cunning to become gobgoblins[3] or bogbers[4]. A scant few others, however, grow more dull in wit but more immense in size and appetite. These are oggers[5].The bigger a goblinoid is, the more it likes to sleep. Oggers-- especially the really big ones-- can sleep for very long periods, sometimes for so long that soil and weeds might even heap up on them. Like most predatory hiberators, oggers tend toward extreme hunger and grumpiness upon rousing.The more a goblinoid sleeps, the more likely it is never to reawaken, and instead crumble into a mass of foul tumors and oily sludge. Some of this material might eventually congeal into a handful of goblincobbles, thus completing the dubiously beautiful goblinoid lifecycle[6].Goblin social structureNotoriously referred to as "the gnome's sock drawer of cultural phenomena"[7], goblinoid society is as chaotic as goblinoid hygiene is pungent. Thus, it has steadfastly defied all logic and patience to be investigated, and scholars no longer bother.Goblin religionGoblinoid legend tells that one day their kind will be led to dominion over "All the Places" by the biggest, goblinest ogger of all goblindom: the Gobgrimmoggerbog[8]. They believe this stupendously big ogger is divinely warded from slumberous discorporation into goblincobbles, and continues to snooze fitfully beneath some long-forgotten hill.Elven scholars who have researched this primitive goblin tale mockingly refer to it as goblinkind's "terrible dark hope," or (in the Elvish language) their tarasque[9].Notes[1] Technically termed repugnantite by scholars, gobblincobbles are colloquially called "hill boogers," "snot jade," and other similarly colorful names.[2] If the newly-excavated goblinoid is particularly small, humans might call it a "norker."[3] gobgoblin - what humans call a "hobgoblin"[4] bogber - what humans call a "bugbear"[5] ogger - what humans might call an "ogre" or "hill giant"[6] The goblinoid lifecycle follows a pattern referred to in the technical natural philosophical literature as bioperparageogenesis. [7]  Kartoffelwerfer, B. “Filth, Fancy, and Fact: A Meta-analysis of Goblin Studies.” Journal of Academic Exasperation vol. xxix, pp.12-17.[8] Gobgrimmoggerbog - Translated from the goblin language, this means "big, bad, really scary goblin."[9] tarasque - This term[10] conjoins the Elvish words t'ara[11], meaning "of or pertaining to a shade of black so dark it causes clinging despair;" and asque[12], meaning "hope."[10] No, what you are thinking is just a coincidence[13].[11] The Elvish word t'ara is the likely root of the human word "tar." [12] The Elvish word asque is the likely root of the human word "ask."[13] Just. a. coincidence!</blockquote>

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