Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="StupidSmurf" data-source="post: 2590761" data-attributes="member: 35893">Harrow Hot Hall of High HeatPlace this hallway as any sort of connection between two encounters. Read the words in quotes to the players. Don't read the words out of quotes to the players. Don't let the players see this module. Don't let the players see your bank card password or your social security number. Sit up straight. Don't fidget. Don't mumble when you talk (unless you're relaying crucial descriptive information to players)."As the soles of your adventurers' footgear slaps down on the hard basalt floor with a sickening thud, you cannot help but notice how hot it is in this hallway. Man, is it hot. We're talking Africa-kind of hot here. Grimly, you decide to keep going, which is a good thing, considering you're only about, oh, one foot into the hallway as it is."You trudge down the hallway, the oppressive heat oppressing you hotly, weighing down on you, suffocating you like a gigantic sweaty fat person sitting on your head. You raise your head, beads of sweat dripping off your face like greased pigs sliding down the noses of the presidents depicted on Mount Rushmore. Your vision is blurry from the heat, but you squint and grunt, and finally you can make out the fact that the hallway extends 60 heat-filled feet."Unfortunately, all of the squinting and grunting also made you wet your pants (-2 to group honor). But you can hardly notice it, for your clothes are absolutely water-logged from all of the sweat poring out of every pour in, on, and around your heat-ravaged body."Did I happen to mention that it's hot?"Anyways, all of that sweat cascades down your sweat-slicked body and collects in your shoes, so that it feels like you're walking in large buckets of warm salty water, like Chicken Noodle soup, only without the chicken. Or noodles. The only sounds you hear as you trek hotly down this hot corridor is the 'goosh-goosh-goosh' squishy sound of your feet in your sweat-logged boots. You hear no other noise."You suddenly hear another noise....a hair-raising, blood-curdling, spine-tingling, pancreas-twisting death howl, sounding for all the world like the death cries of a wounded dirigible, desperately protecting its young.""Halfway down the corridor you turn that huge, bloated, sweat-producing watermelon-like thing you call your head, turning it towards the gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, colon-ravaging screams. Your sweat-stung eyes, which are with you in this hot corridor of great heat, go wide with terror at the terrifying sight that your sight sights."You see a flabby middle-aged woman with her hair in curlers. She's wearing a sweat-stained pink mumu. She's sitting in a wicker chair, which creaks, groans and mutters at its sweaty burden. She's barefoot, and her ugly feet have more corns than Iowa. The woman's fanning herself, sending nauseating waves of flabby middle-aged woman B.O. at your disbelieving nose, which seems ready to walk off your face and seek someplace less foul, like an otyugh's outhouse, or Newark New Jersey at low tide. She looks up at you (the woman, not the otyugh) with her fat eyes and says 'Oy, can you believe this heat? It's hot here, I tell you. My son was supposed to come over and install air conditioning. He's a doctor, you know. This heat! Such heat! I'm verklempt, talk amongst yourselves!""You take your leave of the woman as your heat-assailed body continues onward, ever onward, like some big sweaty ever-onward-moving thing. Finally, just when the hot heat has beaten you down like a child's hammer in a whack-a-mole game, and you think you simply can't go on, and you wish you were in Hell since it's clearly cooler there than here, just when you're ready to throw in the towel, kick the bucket, sell the farm, give up the ghost, eviscerate the ferret, your heat-delirium eyes see a door, a portal, a way out, a means of salvation."The door is the Wizard locked at 30th level, and has a lead sheet in its middle. But that doesn't stop you from feeling that there's air-conditioning beyond the door. Good luck."</blockquote>

Verification