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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Vraille Darkfang" data-source="post: 2432777" data-attributes="member: 16989">Afterwards, my wife realized just how bad she was (mother-in-law still doesn't realize).  My wife was getting better, but we just spent a week's vacation (me with my family in Ohio while my wife & her mother took a trip up to Niagra Falls).  Now she's back where she was before.  Essentially, her mom's a hermit, set in her ways, and damned if she'll try to change (this is often a point of contention between them, usually devolving down to "I'm not a hermit!"  "Mom, when was the last time you went outside the house.  Besides work, the grocery or bookstore?"  "Umm, I can't remember")  Basically, after time with her mom her negative habits are reinforced.  The same might be said of me, but as we live 20 miles from her mom, but 300 miles from mine; the effect never really kicks in on my side. She was raised by a single mom (I should point out that her entire family is a bunch of recluse hermits.  Her 2 uncles have never been married (let alone a relationship) and spend 95% of their time at their house or work.  The only time they get together is Thanksgiving & the entire converstion consisted of "How's work?" "Ok" "Urgggrurg"  That last one is what passes for "pass the food"  Just point & grunt.  Once food is gone, everyone leaves.  First time I went as was sort of stunned. As for her mom's choice in men?  The guy she married drove her successful business into the ground by skimming from the register & driving off customers.  He eventually got a restraining order against entering the state when he kicked his mom down a flight of stairs & broke her arm & hip (She refused to press charges).  In a way I'm grateful he's out of her life; as when he fled to Wisconsion & re-married (another woman with issues) he fathered 2 children with her & promptly began sexually abusing his own daughter (not my wife, her half-sister) from the time she was 8 or so.  The reason that man's not in jail is beyond me (but has a lot to do with only beating up people of such a timid/needy nature they refuse to press charges).  Sorry, this is devolving into a different rant.  Yes, my wife was raised by TV.  So was I, though after my parent's divorce I still had occasional contact with my dad (although I'm not an only child, so I had a little sister to torment/annoy & vice-versa), I was just raised that at certain times the TV went OFF.  Or that when guests come over you pay attention to them. I have no intetnion to fight for my marriage.  I intend to fight for my wife.  We were very good friends before getting married and still are.  I have will not fight for my marriage, I will work on my relationship with my wife. (oh, no kids).If people are reading this thinking "Oh no, Vrailles thinking of divorce" Stop.  I've no intetnion of breaking off with my wife, and our relationship is rock-solid.  I accept her as she is, this is just one area where I think she needs a little help.  She's even told me this in the "I never want to become like my mother" lines she tells me whenever we get back from a visit to her mom's house (which is kind a sad, one time we went their to 'help' , i.e. do it ourselves, her clean out her kitchen.  She had CANNED goods that expired in 1996.  Meat & vegtables in the freezer that said Use by 1994.  This was 6 months ago by the way).  I can learn to live with a TV zombie, I just know she doesn't WANT to be a TV zombie like her mother.  The key phrase here is 'like her mother'.  She does a lot better than her mom, who is more a 'thrall who will kill in the name of TV'.  In the end, I just need help with ways to break her of it.  She wants too, even tells me so.  Then we go over to her mom's for Sci-fi Friday.  Bad habits are hard to break, being in an environment that reinforces them just makes it that much more difficult. (I know, I've good my own I'm working on).</blockquote>

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