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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Zinovia" data-source="post: 5117869" data-attributes="member: 57373">The fountains of mannaThe benevolent emperor, wishing none of his loyal subjects to be deprived of the necessities of life decreed that great fountains would be created, each showing him pouring out a precious liquid: wine, olive oil, milk, and honey.  Thus would his people receive the bounty needed for a comfortable life.  Of course the implementation presented some difficulties, but money was no object and the project went forth.  The wine fountain looked disturbingly like blood.  The entire neighborhood suddenly had many wild parties in the streets, and became boisterous and rowdy.  The wine began to taste funny, and soon turned to vinegar.  Mages had to keep replacing the entire contents of the fountain as this happened, while guards were stationed to prevent innkeepers from loading up entire barrels with free wine, as well as to stop the more exuberant citizens from bathing in the fountain.  The tavern owners filed protests to the imperial bureaucracy about the decrease in their business due to the free wine.  Olive oil pouring from the carved urn held by the magnanimous emperor proved to be an occasional fire hazard and trap for insects that would land in it and be caught by the viscous liquid.  The local neighborhood began to favor slicked back hairstyles, and were constantly oiling their hair and skin.  The olive growers protested to the bureaucracy, much as the winesellers had, but no one was really sure what caused that blight among the local olive groves.  Surely the fruit withering on the tree before ever being harvested had nothing to do with the fountain.  The milk fountain needed to be kept cold; everyone knew that.  Initially the tame ice elemental bound to do the job kept freezing people who tried to approach the fountain.  Once the mages worked past that, there were still issues of the thousands of housecats who congregated every night by the fountain, contaminating the milk with cat hair and less savory things.  Rats, skunks, and other creatures were also attracted to the milk.  Thus a magical barricade was created to keep the creatures out, but allow people in.  The spell was very precise, and walking through the wards became a favored way to remove fleas, head lice, and other troublesome surface parasites, since the spell wouldn't allow them through.  Unfortunately the wards initially didn't allow in anyone who wasn't human, and the other races among the populace protested and cried out that it was discrimination.  Further work is still being done on the wards.  Housecats still come by the fountain, and meow incessantly all night long, winding among the legs of people who bring milk out.  Honey won't flow nicely unless it is warmed, and is far too viscous to flow through any normal fountain design.  After a number of burns, and coaxing of a minor fire elemental, the appropriate temperature was arrived at, along with a design that let the honey flow downward freely.  The fountain attracted insects from all over the city, who would become embedded in the sticky stuff.  Even small mice would fall in and drown in the honey, creating a fad for honeyed dormice (a la Roman cookery).  Neighborhood people grew fat and lost their teeth.  Pastry shops became very common, and local vintners switched to making mead as their preferred drink, since red wine prices had plummeted.</blockquote>

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