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<blockquote data-quote="steeldragons" data-source="post: 5473956" data-attributes="member: 92511">The revision is significantly better. My first response to reading the first was &quot;Sooo there're only elves, dwarves and drow in this world?&quot; Not that there would be anything wrong with that, certainly. Actually, might be a fun world to play in...But I digress. I definitely get a more rounded feel with the mention of more races in the revision...though maybe now you're mentioning too many people?Has this world always been tidally locked? How did such a diversity of species develop in such a limited livable area? I also like the additions of a mention of an oppressive dwarven empire. Suddenly (as the others pointed out) the setting name &quot;Ironbound&quot; makes sense. So good stuff. I am, most certainly intrigued and would be willing to read on a bit more to see what this world is about.If you'll indulge my &quot;editorial&quot; senses for a moment, I'll make a few alterations (in red). Nothing major. Some word choice. Some sentence structure.Lessee...So the edit goes a lil' somethin' like this...&quot;Welcome to a world of eternal day and night, where civilizations&nbsp; flourish on the border between the two. The realm of eternal day has&nbsp; blazing deserts, tropical forests, and sun-scarred savanna. The realm of&nbsp; eternal night is dominated by a harsh frozen landscape, condemned to&nbsp; the horrors of darkness. The realms of the border lands house much of the world's, still young, civilizations.&nbsp; Even the realms of the gods exist in the mortal world, if one is brave&nbsp; or foolish enough to seek them out.The elvin empire is splintered by cultural&nbsp; divisions and steeped in bureaucracy. Human and orcish tribes have joined forces to throw off&nbsp; the shackles of the over-extended dwarven naval empire. The gnomish kingdom shattered in the iron grip of the dwarves. Revolutionary half-elves seek the rise of industry while others maintain the secret traditions of magic. Nomadic drow ride&nbsp; mammoths through dark wastes&nbsp; on great migrations.&nbsp;&nbsp;Ironbound: Chains of Phaetos is a campaign setting set on a world&nbsp;&nbsp; tidally locked. One side of the planet always faces the sun. Challenges arise for all who dare the day side's ever-burning sun or the night side's endless darkness while nations vie for supremacy of the limited resources in the more inhabitable border's eternal twilight-dawn.&quot;Howzzat?Good luck n' good stuff. Look forward to more.--Steel DragonsEDIT: Since there is no actual &quot;day&quot; or &quot;night&quot;, there is &quot;sun&quot; or &quot;no sun&quot;...I would come up with some special phrase/name for various sides of the planet and, more importantly, the in-between border where most people live. Even as simple as the &quot;day side&quot; is simply called &quot;Sun&quot; or &quot;Sol&quot; or something akin and the &quot;night side&quot; is just plain &quot;Dark&quot;...or &quot;Unsol&quot; or something like that...&quot;Moonreign&quot; comes to mind, but I am presuming if there is a moon(s) they are still in an orbit. But if they're stationary as well then it would work. In between would simply be &quot;the Nayght&quot;...not day, not night, but both. You've probably already done so. But just thought I'd throw that in.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="steeldragons, post: 5473956, member: 92511"] The revision is significantly better. My first response to reading the first was "Sooo there're only elves, dwarves and drow in this world?" Not that there would be anything wrong with that, certainly. Actually, might be a fun world to play in...But I digress. I definitely get a more rounded feel with the mention of more races in the revision...though maybe now you're mentioning too many people? Has this world always been tidally locked? How did such a diversity of species develop in such a limited livable area? I also like the additions of a mention of an oppressive dwarven empire. Suddenly (as the others pointed out) the setting name "Ironbound" makes sense. So good stuff. I am, most certainly intrigued and would be willing to read on a bit more to see what this world is about. If you'll indulge my "editorial" senses for a moment, I'll make a few alterations (in [COLOR=Red]red[/COLOR]). Nothing major. Some word choice. Some sentence structure. Lessee... So the edit goes a lil' somethin' like this... "Welcome to a world of eternal day and night, where civilizations flourish on the border between the two. The realm of eternal day has blazing deserts, tropical forests, and sun-scarred savanna. The realm of eternal night is dominated by a harsh frozen landscape, condemned to the horrors of darkness. The realms of the border lands house much of the world's, still young, civilizations. Even the realms of the gods exist in the mortal world, if one is brave or foolish enough to seek them out. The elvin empire is splintered by cultural divisions and steeped in bureaucracy. Human and orcish tribes have joined forces to throw off the shackles of the over-extended dwarven naval empire. The gnomish kingdom shattered in the iron grip of the dwarves. Revolutionary half-elves seek the rise of industry [COLOR=White]while[/COLOR] others maintain the secret traditions of magic. Nomadic drow ride mammoths through dark wastes on great migrations. [I] Ironbound: Chains of Phaetos[/I] is a campaign setting set on a world tidally locked[COLOR=White]. [/COLOR]One side of the planet always faces the sun. Challenges arise[COLOR=Red][COLOR=White] for all who dare[/COLOR] [/COLOR]the day side's ever-burning sun or the night side's endless darkness while nations vie for supremacy of the limited resources in the more inhabitable border's eternal twilight-dawn." Howzzat? Good luck n' good stuff. Look forward to more. --Steel Dragons EDIT: Since there is no actual "day" or "night", there is "sun" or "no sun"...I would come up with some special phrase/name for various sides of the planet and, more importantly, the in-between border where most people live. Even as simple as the "day side" is simply called "Sun" or "Sol" or something akin and the "night side" is just plain "Dark"...or "Unsol" or something like that..."Moonreign" comes to mind, but I am presuming if there is a moon(s) they are still in an orbit. But if they're stationary as well then it would work. In between would simply be "the Nayght"...not day, not night, but both. You've probably already done so. But just thought I'd throw that in. [/QUOTE]

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