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<blockquote data-quote="GuardianLurker" data-source="post: 9418157" data-attributes="member: 786">More jumping on the bandwagon.1) You've implied/I've inferred, that this is the first group you've played in with L and your boyfriend. And its also your first Pathfinder game. (I'm assuming its Pathfinder 2e, the current version.) Those can both be causes for dramatic changes in behavior. Pathfinder, in particular, has a very different culture surrounding it than 5e - it's much crunchier, and there seems to be a stronger combat-focus. You might just be running into that. But I don't think so.2) Playing in other games isn't disrespectful to a GM at all (and I envy my players who get to do so). Assuming that the Game Nights don't conflict. And assuming that the two groups don't hate each other, with you stuck in the middle.3) It sounds mostly like what you run into is what I call a &quot;locker-room&quot; game; when a gaming group is all a single characteristic, when a single player is NOT that, it causes friction. At the &quot;nice&quot; level its just because the expectations haven't adjusted yet. At the &quot;not nice&quot; level, you can have players hostile (in varying degrees) to making these adjustments.Note I said single characteristic. While I personally have seen it be an issue in a male-v-female combination, I've heard of other situations, like straight-v-not straight [with both sides dominating]. I haven't heard of a female-v-male issue, but I'm assuming those happen as well (at least now, the hobby has historically been very... um... poorly-socialized-male heavy).I also hear a few other &quot;caution&quot; flags, but I won't comment on those, because I'm just a stranger on the 'Net, and you specifically asked for comments on the Gaming front.Since you've already said you'll be talking to L, and that is DEFINITELY the CORRECT first step, I'll close this out with a few subjects to address:1) Bring up all the things you've discussed with us. Depending on his reaction, you'll probably have a good idea where to go/what to do next.2) Assuming you get a positive and responsible reaction, talk about solutions. Some will have to come from L (&quot;Hey X, pause it. Marsfan has something.&quot;, &quot;So, Marsfan, you were saying something?&quot;). But some will also have to from you (&quot;Hey X, I wasn't finished yet.&quot; &quot;Excuse me X, but ...&quot;). It also sounds like you have some general table attitude problems. You, with L's backup (and enforcement) should probably address fairly soon.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="GuardianLurker, post: 9418157, member: 786"] More jumping on the bandwagon. 1) You've implied/I've inferred, that this is the first group you've played in with L and your boyfriend. And its also your first Pathfinder game. (I'm assuming its Pathfinder 2e, the current version.) Those can both be causes for dramatic changes in behavior. Pathfinder, in particular, has a very different culture surrounding it than 5e - it's much crunchier, and there seems to be a stronger combat-focus. You [I]might[/I] just be running into that. But I don't think so. 2) Playing in other games isn't disrespectful to a GM at all (and I envy my players who get to do so). Assuming that the Game Nights don't conflict. And assuming that the two groups don't hate each other, with you stuck in the middle. 3) It sounds mostly like what you run into is what I call a "locker-room" game; when a gaming group is all a single characteristic, when a single player is NOT that, it causes friction. At the "nice" level its just because the expectations haven't adjusted yet. At the "not nice" level, you can have players hostile (in varying degrees) to making these adjustments. Note I said single characteristic. While I personally have seen it be an issue in a male-v-female combination, I've heard of other situations, like straight-v-not straight [with both sides dominating]. I haven't heard of a female-v-male issue, but I'm assuming those happen as well (at least now, the hobby has historically been very... um... poorly-socialized-male heavy). I also hear a few other "caution" flags, but I won't comment on those, because I'm just a stranger on the 'Net, and you specifically asked for comments on the Gaming front. Since you've already said you'll be talking to L, and that is DEFINITELY the CORRECT first step, I'll close this out with a few subjects to address: 1) Bring up all the things you've discussed with us. Depending on his reaction, you'll probably have a good idea where to go/what to do next. 2) Assuming you get a positive and responsible reaction, talk about solutions. Some will have to come from L ("Hey X, pause it. Marsfan has something.", "So, Marsfan, you were saying something?"). But some will also have to from you ("Hey X, I wasn't finished yet." "Excuse me X, but ..."). It also sounds like you have some general table attitude problems. You, with L's backup (and enforcement) should probably address fairly soon. [/QUOTE]

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