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Message: <blockquote data-quote="The Sigil" data-source="post: 558963" data-attributes="member: 2013">My take...Look at the title of your thread...Loosing gamers to "relationship-land" Take a closer look."Loosing" usually means "letting go."Like it or not, you have a relationship with the other gamers.  Not usually an intimate one, but your demands are as real as those of a SO, even if they are different demands.In my experience, it is better to "loose" a gamer to a relationship (let them go) than to try to hang on to them.  They'll be miserable because they're neglecting a relationship either way - either they're neglecting their SO or they're neglecting you.  Thus, make sure you're not around them when they're miserable.  Let them be miserable around the SO. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />Seriously, it's a test of your (gaming) relationship with your friend.  If s/he ultimately decides the SO is more important, that is his/her decision to make.  In my experience, though, it may take time, but eventually most gamers who have gamed more than casually find that gaming is an integral part of themselves and come back to the gaming fold.  They either convince their SO that they're miserable without gaming or they flat out leave their SO to come back (possibly making sure that any future SO will accept their hobby).Either way, don't put yourself in the position of being the wedge.  Let them learn for themselves.My attitude when dating - and I think it was a healthy one - was "I won't get involved in a relationship that involves me 'having to change' to fit the other person."  I know there will be change and growth over time naturally.  That's fine.  But the other person must accept me for what I am now and the potential they see in my based on what I want to be - not what they want me to be.  I found my wife, who is okay with my gaming, even if she doesn't want to partake (she tried it twice, decided it wasn't for her, and I respect that decision - I'm not trying to 'change her' either).  I really can't imagine it any other way.  Anyone who tries to tell me what I am allowed to like and dislike is going to be history in a hurry.Basically, I want someone who was willing to help me get where I want to go - and not try to change my path to somewhere they want me to go.  Ideally, we are both trying to get to the same place (and we are) but there is wiggle room for the route taken.--The Sigil</blockquote>

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