Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="Edena_of_Neith" data-source="post: 304462" data-attributes="member: 2020">How to start a tavern brawl ...&nbsp; Have your character start shouting.&nbsp; And keep on stopping.&nbsp; This tactic ALWAYS works.&nbsp; To get a grey elf into a barroom brawl:&nbsp; WARNING:&nbsp; DO NOT ATTEMPT IT.&nbsp; IT IS TOO DANGEROUS.&nbsp; Grey elves are almost impossible to provoke.&nbsp; However, once you do provoke a grey elf, it will be like a hornet's nest was dropped into the place.&nbsp; If you must involve a grey elf in a barroom brawl, take a large keg of horse slop, and hurl it onto her.&nbsp; &nbsp; If you survive, it will have been a most interesting experience.&nbsp; High elves are easy prey.&nbsp; Just tell the drunken, magic-hating barbarian over in the corner that a large number of (innately magical) elves with a lot of magical items have asked him to destroy said items for the betterment of all.&nbsp; Wood elves are very easy to set off.&nbsp; Simply talk about the large forest fire you intend to set tonight.&nbsp; Wild (Grugach) elves are easiest of all.&nbsp; Simply tell them you intend a new breeding program with captured wild elves, involving dwarves.&nbsp; Halflings:&nbsp; halflings do not tend to brawl.&nbsp; One must use special tactics with them.&nbsp; The best tactic is to pick one up, and use him as a missile against the drunken barbarian mentioned above.&nbsp; Gnomes ... gnomes love pranks.&nbsp; Therefore, they are always suspect. &nbsp; Light a faerie fire or the cantrip flashpuff under the drunken barbarian, then sit quietly back and wait for the fun to start.&nbsp; Dwarves:&nbsp; dwarves are the supreme brawlers.&nbsp; The easiest way to get a dwarf to brawl is the simplest:&nbsp; throw a beer stein and peg him on the head.&nbsp; Or use your magic to substitute elven feywine for their dwarf spirits in their cups, then loudly proclaim your guilt, and dare them to do something about it.&nbsp; Kender:&nbsp; WARNING:&nbsp; DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAUSE A KENDER TO BRAWL.&nbsp; IT IS TOO DANGEROUS.&nbsp; If you must start a kender brawl, inform the kender that you are going to take all of his items by force, then destroy them.&nbsp; Or, inform the kender how lousy a person his Uncle Trapspringer was.&nbsp; The odds are you will not survive the brawl - if you do, you'll never forget the experience.&nbsp; - - -&nbsp; Racial slurs will not work against:&nbsp; Grey elves&nbsp; High elves&nbsp; Halflings&nbsp; Gnomes&nbsp; Dwarves&nbsp; Kender&nbsp; Racial slurs might work against:&nbsp; Wood elves&nbsp; Wild (Grugach) elves&nbsp; - - -&nbsp; Appealing to male protective instincts (that is, you are dissing a female) will not work with:&nbsp; High elves&nbsp; Wood elves&nbsp; Wild elves&nbsp; Gnomes&nbsp; Kender&nbsp; It might work with:&nbsp; Grey elves&nbsp; Halflings&nbsp; Dwarves&nbsp; - - -&nbsp; Appealing to female protective instincts (that is, you are dissing a male) will not work with:&nbsp; High elves&nbsp; Wood elves&nbsp; Wild elves&nbsp; Gnomes&nbsp; Kender&nbsp; It might work with:&nbsp; Grey elves&nbsp; Halflings&nbsp; Dwarves&nbsp; - - -&nbsp; Slang and expletives will not work with:&nbsp; Grey elves&nbsp; Wood elves&nbsp; Wild elves&nbsp; Halflings&nbsp; Kender&nbsp; It might work with:&nbsp; High elves&nbsp; Gnomes&nbsp; Dwarves&nbsp; - - -&nbsp; Throwing a beer stein will not work with:&nbsp; Grey elves&nbsp; Wood elves&nbsp; Wild elves&nbsp; Halflings&nbsp; &nbsp; It might work with:&nbsp; High elves&nbsp; Gnomes&nbsp; Dwarves&nbsp; Kender</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Edena_of_Neith, post: 304462, member: 2020"] How to start a tavern brawl ... Have your character start shouting. And keep on stopping. This tactic ALWAYS works. To get a grey elf into a barroom brawl: WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT IT. IT IS TOO DANGEROUS. Grey elves are almost impossible to provoke. However, once you do provoke a grey elf, it will be like a hornet's nest was dropped into the place. If you must involve a grey elf in a barroom brawl, take a large keg of horse slop, and hurl it onto her. If you survive, it will have been a most interesting experience. High elves are easy prey. Just tell the drunken, magic-hating barbarian over in the corner that a large number of (innately magical) elves with a lot of magical items have asked him to destroy said items for the betterment of all. Wood elves are very easy to set off. Simply talk about the large forest fire you intend to set tonight. Wild (Grugach) elves are easiest of all. Simply tell them you intend a new breeding program with captured wild elves, involving dwarves. Halflings: halflings do not tend to brawl. One must use special tactics with them. The best tactic is to pick one up, and use him as a missile against the drunken barbarian mentioned above. Gnomes ... gnomes love pranks. Therefore, they are always suspect. Light a faerie fire or the cantrip flashpuff under the drunken barbarian, then sit quietly back and wait for the fun to start. Dwarves: dwarves are the supreme brawlers. The easiest way to get a dwarf to brawl is the simplest: throw a beer stein and peg him on the head. Or use your magic to substitute elven feywine for their dwarf spirits in their cups, then loudly proclaim your guilt, and dare them to do something about it. Kender: WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAUSE A KENDER TO BRAWL. IT IS TOO DANGEROUS. If you must start a kender brawl, inform the kender that you are going to take all of his items by force, then destroy them. Or, inform the kender how lousy a person his Uncle Trapspringer was. The odds are you will not survive the brawl - if you do, you'll never forget the experience. - - - Racial slurs will not work against: Grey elves High elves Halflings Gnomes Dwarves Kender Racial slurs might work against: Wood elves Wild (Grugach) elves - - - Appealing to male protective instincts (that is, you are dissing a female) will not work with: High elves Wood elves Wild elves Gnomes Kender It might work with: Grey elves Halflings Dwarves - - - Appealing to female protective instincts (that is, you are dissing a male) will not work with: High elves Wood elves Wild elves Gnomes Kender It might work with: Grey elves Halflings Dwarves - - - Slang and expletives will not work with: Grey elves Wood elves Wild elves Halflings Kender It might work with: High elves Gnomes Dwarves - - - Throwing a beer stein will not work with: Grey elves Wood elves Wild elves Halflings It might work with: High elves Gnomes Dwarves Kender [/QUOTE]

Verification