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<blockquote data-quote="ShadowDenizen" data-source="post: 3632110" data-attributes="member: 16485">Hee! This is a GREAT thread!To chip in,here' s some from our current &quot;Age of Worms&quot; campaign.(Wiki is here:&nbsp; <a href="http://ageofworms.wikispaces.com/Notable+Quotes" target="_blank">http://ageofworms.wikispaces.com/Notable+Quotes</a>)Some of these are &quot;You had to be there&quot; jokes, others hold up to translation pretty well in print.Without further ado:&quot;I wanna get the prize inside.&quot;&quot;Yes, I'm sure you do.&quot;- Allustan to Seltzer.&quot;Dude, lay off! It's not easy using a Bedazzler.&quot;- Rich (re: Seltzers outlandish garb.)&quot;I choke the weasel.&quot; - Kirith (as a mages familiar tries to attack him.)&quot;Wanna see my octopus?&quot;- Drenn (offering to show Tirra his familiar.)&quot;I'm playing my Recorder of Love.&quot;- Seltzer (AKA &quot;Captain Glitterpants&quot;)&quot;Can we run Auric's belt up the flagpole?&quot;- Sealamin (after handily beating Auric in a jart-throwing competition.)&quot;I grab the Amber Bubble and kick it off the roof and down the road.&quot;- Kirith (after Syberis gets caught looting a wizards chamber and ends up in a Amber Bubble).&quot;Don't ever give me the finger again!&quot;- Sealamin, after Drenn pokes him with a piece of a statue.)&quot;Highly disappointed starts in 5...4...3...2...1...NOW!!&quot;- Fred (as Kirith)&quot;You hear discordant singing coming from over the hill.&quot;&quot;Is Seltzer with us?&quot;- Siberys to DM&quot;I jump in and scream &quot;Fiesta&quot;!- Seltzer (of course)&quot;Drenn is the new Harvey!&quot;- Rich, after Drenn nearly gets himself killed in the same way as the infamous Harvey Merkelstein.My new characters name is going to be &quot;Who-Flung-Poo&quot;.- Bobbi (who always plays monks.)&quot;I don't know if I'm dumb enough to lick the goo.&quot;- Ben (as Seltzer)&quot;And don't forget, you still have the button.&quot;&quot;Is it big and red?&quot;- Rich to DM&quot;What does the orange goo do again?&quot;- JAZ to DM&quot;Are the beetles servants of Vecna, too?&quot;- Siberys to Drenn&quot;Looking in, you see a four foot wide...&quot;&quot;Uvula?&quot;- JAZ to DM, as the party investigates a passage found behind a giant stone face.&quot;THIS ate through my pants!&quot;- Drenn (explaining to Allustan about the corrosive goo found in the Cairn.)&quot;I'm trying to get the Owlbear drunk.&quot;- Drenn (trying to figure out the best way to get the baby Owlbear back to town.)&quot;A gnome, a kobold, and a dwarf walk into the bar carrying an owlbear..&quot;- The DM, telling the age-old joke.'HEY, Kullen, I heard one of your men was disarmed!&quot;- Drenn (referencing a dismembered comrade of Kullens.)&quot;Your pouch is invisible... But we'll work on that later!&quot;- DM to Siberys.&quot;You hear muffled voices and the telltale &quot;WHOOSH&quot; of Burning Hands...&quot;- DM setting the stage.&quot;NO, I don't have a smelly old mans perfume.&quot;- Allustan&quot;Who the hell keeps a DIRE APE to guard the inside of their manor?&quot;- Siberys&quot;No &quot;shaft&quot;jokes,please!- RIch&quot;I lay on hands... But in a non-sexual way.&quot;- Derek (as Proteus) as he heals the unconcious Drenn.&quot;How often do you think your door has been sealed shut with goo?'&quot;- Veronica&quot;Kill them, my beautiful monstrosity!&quot;- Filge to his undead bugbear minion&quot;Oh, <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />! We're in trouble! The octopus has been uncorked!&quot;&quot;We have been attacked from behind several times.&quot; - RichRay: &quot;He's a house-cat... with the stats of a wolf!&quot;Rich: &quot;He's got as many hit points as I do!! - Introducing Aulin the Druids animal companion.&quot;He's part of the Dwarven Mafia- the Cosa Dwarfa!&quot;- JAZ (referring to his &quot;brother&quot; Brunt)-&quot;He's kinda of a cantankerous old douchebag.&quot;-&quot;He's not old!&quot;-&quot;Two out of three.&quot;- Siberys and Sealamin discssing AllustanRule #47: Head jokes are always funny.&quot;The password is &quot;Kwyjiboo&quot;&quot;.- Allustan&quot;Is that case sensitive?&quot;- Aulir-&quot;Parrin or Dourstone?&quot;-&quot;That depends: who's in charge here?&quot;- Brunt trying to coax Carlton into letting him enter the Feral Dog.&quot;I'm a Dwarven Priest of St. Cuthbert, who's never seen the inside of a mine; I was raised by a band of humans.&quot;- Brunt, the Dwarven Bard, who grew up underground with the Bachnar clan&quot;Snakes on a Kobold!&quot;- Jaz, as Siberys is strangled by a constrictor snake.&quot;Harsh but fair; that's the Dourstone mission statement.&quot;- Brunt-&quot;When the dwarves meet the grimlocks, they fight.&quot; - Brunt (who has a thick Irish Brogue)-Why do they fight after they MATE?- Siberys-&quot;So thats what the secret room with romantic mood lighting and smooth walls is for!&quot; - Proteus&quot;Holy <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />!, I mean <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />&quot; - Stephen (as Brunt) forgetting that he has an Irish brogue.&quot;Part of Siberys' ninja training was jenga&quot; - Josh the DM&quot;I betcha Yao-Ming is secretly 3 chinese dudes standing on top of each other&quot; - Derek&quot;Man, you suck at this!&quot; -Stephen to Derek&quot;Dude, it's like you only have two settings: &quot;Deep Respect&quot; or &quot;Smash&quot;!&quot;- Derek to Stephen&quot;NO-ONE tries to take away my bagpipes!&quot;- Brunt&quot;I headbutt him. (He isn't wearing a helmet, is he?)&quot;- Stephen (as Brunt)-&quot;I wonder if it's flammable?-&quot;Something tells me &quot;Essence of Vecna&quot; isn't flammable.&quot;- Siberys to Ailur</blockquote>

[QUOTE="ShadowDenizen, post: 3632110, member: 16485"] Hee! This is a GREAT thread! To chip in,here' s some from our current "Age of Worms" campaign. (Wiki is here: [url]http://ageofworms.wikispaces.com/Notable+Quotes[/url]) Some of these are "You had to be there" jokes, others hold up to translation pretty well in print. Without further ado: "I wanna get the prize inside." "Yes, I'm sure you do."- Allustan to Seltzer. "Dude, lay off! It's not easy using a Bedazzler."- Rich (re: Seltzers outlandish garb.) "I choke the weasel." - Kirith (as a mages familiar tries to attack him.) "Wanna see my octopus?"- Drenn (offering to show Tirra his familiar.) "I'm playing my Recorder of Love."- Seltzer (AKA "Captain Glitterpants") "Can we run Auric's belt up the flagpole?"- Sealamin (after handily beating Auric in a jart-throwing competition.) "I grab the Amber Bubble and kick it off the roof and down the road."- Kirith (after Syberis gets caught looting a wizards chamber and ends up in a Amber Bubble). "Don't ever give me the finger again!"- Sealamin, after Drenn pokes him with a piece of a statue.) "Highly disappointed starts in 5...4...3...2...1...NOW!!"- Fred (as Kirith) "You hear discordant singing coming from over the hill." "Is Seltzer with us?"- Siberys to DM "I jump in and scream "Fiesta"!- Seltzer (of course) "Drenn is the new Harvey!"- Rich, after Drenn nearly gets himself killed in the same way as the infamous Harvey Merkelstein. My new characters name is going to be "Who-Flung-Poo".- Bobbi (who always plays monks.) "I don't know if I'm dumb enough to lick the goo."- Ben (as Seltzer) "And don't forget, you still have the button." "Is it big and red?"- Rich to DM "What does the orange goo do again?"- JAZ to DM "Are the beetles servants of Vecna, too?"- Siberys to Drenn "Looking in, you see a four foot wide..." "Uvula?"- JAZ to DM, as the party investigates a passage found behind a giant stone face. "THIS ate through my pants!"- Drenn (explaining to Allustan about the corrosive goo found in the Cairn.) "I'm trying to get the Owlbear drunk."- Drenn (trying to figure out the best way to get the baby Owlbear back to town.) "A gnome, a kobold, and a dwarf walk into the bar carrying an owlbear.."- The DM, telling the age-old joke. 'HEY, Kullen, I heard one of your men was disarmed!"- Drenn (referencing a dismembered comrade of Kullens.) "Your pouch is invisible... But we'll work on that later!"- DM to Siberys. "You hear muffled voices and the telltale "WHOOSH" of Burning Hands..."- DM setting the stage. "NO, I don't have a smelly old mans perfume."- Allustan "Who the hell keeps a DIRE APE to guard the inside of their manor?"- Siberys "No "shaft"jokes,please!- RIch "I lay on hands... But in a non-sexual way."- Derek (as Proteus) as he heals the unconcious Drenn. "How often do you think your door has been sealed shut with goo?'"- Veronica "Kill them, my beautiful monstrosity!"- Filge to his undead bugbear minion "Oh, :):):):)! We're in trouble! The octopus has been uncorked!" "We have been attacked from behind several times." - Rich Ray: "He's a house-cat... with the stats of a wolf!" Rich: "He's got as many hit points as I do!! - Introducing Aulin the Druids animal companion. "He's part of the Dwarven Mafia- the Cosa Dwarfa!"- JAZ (referring to his "brother" Brunt) -"He's kinda of a cantankerous old douchebag." -"He's not old!" -"Two out of three."- Siberys and Sealamin discssing Allustan Rule #47: Head jokes are always funny. "The password is "Kwyjiboo"".- Allustan "Is that case sensitive?"- Aulir -"Parrin or Dourstone?" -"That depends: who's in charge here?"- Brunt trying to coax Carlton into letting him enter the Feral Dog. "I'm a Dwarven Priest of St. Cuthbert, who's never seen the inside of a mine; I was raised by a band of humans."- Brunt, the Dwarven Bard, who grew up underground with the Bachnar clan "Snakes on a Kobold!"- Jaz, as Siberys is strangled by a constrictor snake. "Harsh but fair; that's the Dourstone mission statement."- Brunt -"When the dwarves meet the grimlocks, they fight." - Brunt (who has a thick Irish Brogue) -Why do they fight after they MATE?- Siberys -"So thats what the secret room with romantic mood lighting and smooth walls is for!" - Proteus "Holy :):):):)!, I mean :):):):):)" - Stephen (as Brunt) forgetting that he has an Irish brogue. "Part of Siberys' ninja training was jenga" - Josh the DM "I betcha Yao-Ming is secretly 3 chinese dudes standing on top of each other" - Derek "Man, you suck at this!" -Stephen to Derek "Dude, it's like you only have two settings: "Deep Respect" or "Smash"!"- Derek to Stephen "NO-ONE tries to take away my bagpipes!"- Brunt "I headbutt him. (He isn't wearing a helmet, is he?)"- Stephen (as Brunt) -"I wonder if it's flammable? -"Something tells me "Essence of Vecna" isn't flammable."- Siberys to Ailur [/QUOTE]

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