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Message: <blockquote data-quote="hong" data-source="post: 1166599" data-attributes="member: 537">Killing evil is okay, but its stuff is TAINTED! Kinda like when you leave a body lying around in Nethack. Or when a TV series runs too long.[SHATNERIAN voice resounds; enter KIRK]Kirk: It's like evil is.... UNDEAD! It cannot... be KILLED!I mean, it CANNOT... be killed!I mean, it cannot... BE... killed!Darn. Can we do this take again?[Enter DEANNA TROI]Troi: Captain, even though mixing characters from two different series constitutes a terrible crime against continuity, I must insist that we give evil a chance. The Prime Directive requires us to do so.Kirk: Counselor, how many times do we follow the Prime Directive on this show?Troi: Ah, you're right, Captain. I apologise.Kirk: That's not enough. You must be punished. See me in my quarters at 1850 hours.Troi: You pervert. You've never been the same since that Bilbo Baggins music video. Hang on a minute....Kirk: MUAHAHA![removes Shatner facemask]Yes, it is I, SPOCK! I have been through the darkness and come out to the light! The terrible experience of Bilbo Baggins, which would have driven any mortal insane, has proved me to be the ONLY ONE FIT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE!Troi: But if Bilbo Baggins drives any mortal insane, and you are yourself a mortal, then doesn't it logically follow that you, yourself, are insane?Spock: CURSE YOU, DEANNA TROI!!!! YOU HAVE FOUND MY ONE WEAKNESS!!!1[Spock's head explodes][Enter Q]Q: Thank you, Troi. And now that you've saved me the bother of disposing of this poseur myself, I will now get on with the task of TAKING OVER THE UNIVERSE!Troi: Ah, damn. Why do you always show up when you're not wanted?Q: I'm just evil that way.[JANGLING NOISE OVER LOUDHAILERS]THE BORG: EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.TROI: Hey, what am I, sliced cheese?THE BORG: AND LADIES, EXCUSE ME. AS I WAS SAYING, THERE'S ONLY ONE BEING FIT TO RULE THIS UNIVERSE, AND IT'S ME. I MEAN WE. I MEAN US. I MEAN... AH, HELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.TROI: What?THE BORG: DO YOU KNOW HOW TRICKY IT IS GETTING THESE NOUNS RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE A COLLECTIVE?Q: I don't believe I've ever had that problem.THE BORG: OH SHUT UP, YOU ANNOYING PRAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING YOU ARE? YOU MAY BE THE MOST POWERFUL INDIVIDUAL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT BY GOD YOU ACT LIKE A SPOILED KID SOMETIMES.Q: Hey, baby, it's my prerogative. Are you going to tell me otherwise?THE BORG: WHY YES, WE BELIEVE WE WILL.Q: Ah, oops, you weren't meant to say that. Excuse me, m'dear, I think I'll be leaving now.TROI: You know, there's this sector called the Delta Quadrant which I hear is really nice this time of year. Very few cubes around, if you get my meaning.Q: Thank you, perhaps I'll check it out.[Exit Q, pursued by a bear]THE BORG: WHY DID YOU TELL HIM THAT? OUR INFLUENCE EXTENDS TO THE DELTA QUADRANT, YOU KNOW.TROI: Yes, but there's this ship over there which is crewed by a major rival of mine, and I want to see you guys muss up her perfect hair. I swear, I don't know how someone with a name like "Janeway" could be promoted ahead of me. Janeway? Sounds like a freakin' toilet, if you ask me.THE BORG: WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HUMAN FOIBLES. VERY WELL, WE WILL DEAL WITH THE BEING KNOWN AS Q, AND "MUSS UP" YOUR RIVAL'S "PERFECT HAIR" AS WELL. AND THEN WE WILL TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE, IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR 5-YEAR PLAN.[Exit THE BORG]TROI: Whew, so much for them. Now then....[TROI'S form morphs and changes, turning into GARY COOPER]GARY COOPER: Teehee! With those nitwits out of the way, now NOTHING CAN STOP MY FIENDISH PLAN TO RULE THE UNIVERSE![Enter ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER]ARNOLD: Ah believe ah haff already stopt your fiendish plan.GARY COOPER: D'oh! NEXT ELECTION, Arnie! NEXT ELECTION!!! You're GOING DOWN!!!1!Because unlike other settings, Midnight is real. And Darkleaf is still ALIVE! ALIVE, I TELL YOU! But Elvis is still dead, unfortunately.Why are you looking at me?</blockquote>

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