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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mistwell" data-source="post: 123416" data-attributes="member: 2525">Standard Rant: Here are my comments on this heat.  I'm not doing this to be critical of people, or judge them or their entry, or influence votes in any way. I'm only doing this because I know that I like honest feedback on my work, and I assume others want that as well. That said, I'm not looking for a debate on my opinions (they are just my opinions, which means they are only worth whatever value you put on them, which is probably none .) I also won't mention who I voted for in each batch. To make sure I don't influence people's votes in any way in favor of my entry (I just entered the contest for fun, to get my feet wet on writing adventures in preparation for other contests that have more serious prizes at stake), I've asked a friend of mine to write their own opinion of my entry, and I have/will insert that opinion in the appropriate place instead of my own. That friend is fairly critical of stuff, so it probably won't help my chances (as if anyone really cares). Maybe my entry is in this batch, and maybe not . A brief word on this discussion about the rules. Pretend for a moment you are writing an adventure for Dragon Magazine and/or Dungeon. They have editorial (and time constraint) rules that you MUST MUST MUST obey. There is no spirit of the rules, there is no sorta-follows-the-rules. You follow them, or you get rejected. Period. This contest is, in a way, a test for people who want to write adventures for various d20 publishers in the future. In that sense, following the rules may be more important than the content of your entry. So, I am personally placing a lot of emphasis on your ability to follow the rules when voting. But then, I am a lawyer by trade, so I am probably way more anal about that sort of stuff than others. For reference, here are the Rules: 1) Entry should consist of three pages. The first page should contain the encounter, the second page should describe (and, if necessary, map) the location and the third page should include your NPC, complete with background, roleplaying notes and combat tactics (if relevant). Your entry may optionally contain one fourth page for illustrations or maps; this is not compulsory. 2) You may not exceed one page for each of these elements, and your text should be in Times New Roman font (or similar) at a font size of 12 points. 3) The full 3-page document should bear a title and an indication of its Encounter Level, and sent as an email attachment to me at <a href="mailto:morrus@d20reviews.com">morrus@d20reviews.com</a>. 4) The location and the NPC should be useful independently of each other and of the encounter itself.5) The encounter should be one that can be easily inserted into most campaigns. 6) The encounter should be clear and easy to run? Enough ranting, on to the entries:Sharick, the Exiled Lunatic (EL ANY).  The tale of Sharick is indeed a very sad and moving story.  I really wish, however, that the author had given us something more to go on regarding the curse of Sharick.  Why did the sage do this to him? How can it be undone by the party? The location, obviously, isn’t of much use, and is rather short.  Would have been nice to include the Sage’s old home as the location, and provide some answers there.  Overall, I liked this adventure, but wanted more answers, and more detail.Surprise, you’ve just been double-crossed! (EL 5).  First, it is rather unfortunate that the author decided to cut the margins on this encounter, as it gives the appearance that the author was not able to be brief (and the contest rules emphasize brevity).  That said, I do like this encounter.  I’m a fan of traps, and this one has several (two trip wires and an ambush).  However, I am again left wanting for more.  What does the map of the undetground dungeon look like? You can use a fourth page for a map, but the author decided not to.  What are the stats for the undead in the crypt? None are offered. Who is the master of Sneed, and what are his/her stats? Again, none offered.  It’s difficult for me to run this adventure in my game if I know going in I’m going to have to provide details for more than half the adventure.  Additionally, the NPCs and Location are directly linked to this encounter.The Barking Frog Inn (EL 6).  First, the right margin was played with a bit, which gives the gives the appearance that the author was not able to be brief (and the contest rules emphasize brevity).  Second, very nice map, I’d like to know what program was used to create it.  Finally, the text itself: I really liked Derek. A lot. His background is well thought out, as are his motives.  I can see using him in my game.  The Inn, while not particularly special in itself, is also useful (you can always use a new Inn in your game).  The PC and Location are both tired to each other, but they wouldn’t be too difficult to entangle from each other.  Overall, a good entry.Illusions & Delusions (EL6).  First Impression, the author decided to cut all the margins (top, bottom, right, left) on this encounter, and it gives the appearance that the author was not able to be brief (and the contest rules emphasize brevity).  Even with that advantage, the author exceeds the page limitations, jumbling together the encounter and the loaction into three pages, with a fourth page for an NPC.   The location and encounter are clearly reliant on each other, and of no practical use apart from each other.  I did like the NPC, and the bards particular insanity, comingling reality with various plays in his tarnished memory as he speaks of the terror of the Ogres, was interesting.  I just couldn’t get over the breach of the page rules, and I'm really surprised that it has so many votes, and that nobody has mentioned that it has a full extra page beyond what the rules allow.Secrets Best Left Unheard (EL 8) First impression is that all the page rules were followed for this entry.  And in fact after reading the entry, the location and NPC are also independant of one another and the encounter itself. Nice job! As for the text of the encounter itself, I liked Molbran.  That nasty little half-fiend could trouble a party for a long time (or only once).  The Inn is not particularly interesting, but as always, another Inn description never hurt a game.The Fort of the Bloodfist Orcs (EL 10?).  This entry technically follows all the rules, for pages and location/NPC independance. Nice to see that. And the location of the cave with the appearance of teeth for guard towers is a nice touch.  However, something is missing from this entry for me.  There is nothing really jumping out at you as unique and interesting here.  Sure, Drogar is a nasty half-fiend guy who could put up a good fight.  But there isn’t really much in the way of motivation for him (other than do his father’s bidding until he can defeat him), nor is there much in the location that is really special (other than, again, the look of the place).   I wanted to see something magical, or mysterious, or a unique contraption, or a special trap, or at least an adventure hook to get the PC’s here.  Something to grab your attention and say “Hey, now that is new!”.  I liked this entry, but it just lacked some oomf for me.THE ENCOUNTER AT LANDSEND (EL 12).  I had an encounter at <a href="http://www.landsend.com/" target="_blank">http://www.landsend.com/</a> once, and barely escaped alive with some Chinos!  Okay, sorry, easy shot.  My first impression of this encounter is that, once again, the author felt the need to play with the right and left margins, and it gives the appearance that the author was not able to be brief (and the contest rules emphasize brevity).  Additionally, the Encounter and Location are 100% tied together, and are almost a direct continuation of one another.  On the plus side, Oggenoth is a very neat NPC, living in a very interesting place.  He is well though out, full of “character”, and worth using in my game.Confronting Bloodhorn (EL 12) .  First impression, this entry actually follows all the rules.  The entry is brief, with only one page (and correct margins and fonts) for each section.  Each of the location and the NPC can easily be used independant of one another, and do not reference each other or the encounter.  As for the content, I like Khasmek, and can see using him in a game.  The Inn is not particularly unique, but I can always use a new Inn, and the map is very nicely done.  I wouldn’t have used a PDF format for the map however, since that makes it more difficult to insert into the word document.Studium Musica  (EL16).  First Impressions: What’s with this fourth page for a new spell? Violates the rules in a pretty plain way.  As for the content, the location and NPC do not directly reference each other or the encounter, which is nice to see. Delphin is an interesting character, and his archieval crystals are truly a wonder to behold (and I know my PC’s would have plenty of use for them and the new spell).  A nice entry overall.</blockquote>

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