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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dannyalcatraz" data-source="post: 3775795" data-attributes="member: 19675">I've spent the last few years watching my parents and their freinds deal with their parents.In each case, the elders were a handfull- stubborn, often irrational behavior; strokes, broken bones and other physical health issues; depression; dementia (including "sundowning" in the case of my Grandfather).  Calls at all hours of the night and even physical abuse by my grandparents even occurred- punches and strikes with the canes by frustrated, angry elders were not uncommon.In other words, it could be rough.My Dad is an MD, and even he couldn't handle all of the demands his parents put on him and his sister.Eventually, my family adopted a motto derived from the airline industry "Put the mask over your own face first, then help those around you."  IOW, make sure you take care of your own needs- including some kind of R&R- before you help your parents- otherwise, your health will suffer, and there will be 2 people who need help.1) Don't give up too much of your time on the job to help your Mom.  If you can afford it, find professional help.  Helping lift someone who is physically impaired is tricky, dealing with someone who is combative due to dementia or depression is just as much so, and a pro gets training in both and more.2) Find out and ACCEPT any help you can get from the City, State, or Feds.  Handi-rides, for instance, can help an elder feel like they have some control & independence in their lives if they can't drive anymore.  Ask any health-care workers you encounter for info- they'll either know what you need to know or who you need to contact to find out.3) Find someone with whom you can talk and/or vent.  If you don't find some kind of councel, even if its just talking to a friend over coffee and donuts, you'll drive yourself nuts.My Dad almost killed himself trying to accomidate his father & mother while working full-time at his practice.  Each of their deaths, while stressful to him, was also a bit of a relief.</blockquote>

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