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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Tom Cashel" data-source="post: 952082" data-attributes="member: 321">Yes, but we know that "nothing is complete or final until you buy the book in the store."Silly me...I always thought it should have said "until the book goes to the printer," but you know they're going to be fixing all the typos, by hand with red pens, before they ship the books to suppliers and shops.Anyway...go look at the TV.  Every single advertisement is telling you about something you want.Now, I must sing a song by the great Tom Waits called "Step Right Up":Step right upstep right upstep right upEveryone's a winner, bargains galoreThat's right, you too can be the proud ownerOf the quality goes in before the name goes onOne-tenth of a dollarone-tenth of a dollarwe got service after salesYou need perfume? we got perfumehow 'bout an engagement ring?Something for the little ladysomething for the little ladySomething for the little lady, hmmThree for a dollarWe got a year-end clearance, we got a white saleAnd a smoke-damaged furnitureyou can drive it away todayAct now, act nowand receive as our gift, our gift to youThey come in all colors, one size fits allNo muss, no fuss, no spillsyou're tired of kitchen drudgeryEverything must gogoing out of businessgoing out of businessGoing out of business saleFifty percent off original retail priceskip the middle manDon't settle for lessHow do we do it?how do we do it?volume, volume, turn up the volumeNow you've heard it advertised, don't hesitateDon't be caught with your drawers downDon't be caught with your drawers downYou can step right up, step right upThat's right, it filets, it chopsIt dices, slices, never stopslasts a lifetime, mows your lawnAnd it mows your lawnand it picks up the kids from schoolIt gets rid of unwanted facial hairit gets rid of embarrassing age spotsIt delivers a pizzaand it lengthens, and it strengthensAnd it finds that slipper that's been at largeunder the chaise longe for several weeksAnd it plays a mean Rhythm MasterIt makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collarAnd it's only a dollar, step right upit's only a dollar, step right up'Cause it forges your signature.If not completely satisfiedmail back unused portion of productFor complete refund of price of purchaseStep right upPlease allow thirty days for deliverydon't be fooled by cheap imitationsYou can live in it, live in itlaugh in it, love in itSwim in it, sleep in itLive in it, swim in itlaugh in it, love in itRemoves embarrassing stains from contour sheetsthat's rightAnd it entertains visiting relativesit turns a sandwich into a banquetTired of being the life of the party?Change your shortschange your lifechange your lifeChange into a nine-year-old Hindu boyget rid of your wifeAnd it walks your dog, and it doubles on saxDoubles on sax, you can jump back Jacksee you later alligatorSee you later alligatorAnd it steals your carIt gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smokingIt's a friend, and it's a companionAnd it's the only product you will ever needFollow these easy assembly instructionsit never needs ironingWell it takes weights off hips, bustthighs, chin, midriffGives you dandruff, and it finds you a jobit is a jobAnd it strips the phone company freetake ten for five exchangeAnd it gives you denture breathAnd you know it's a friend, and it's a companionAnd it gets rid of your traveler's checksIt's new, it's improved, it's old-fashionedWell it takes care of businessnever needs windingNever needs windingnever needs windingGets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasisChrist, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddyC'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon'Cause it's effective, it's defectiveit creates household odorsIt disinfects, it sanitizes for your protectionIt gives you an erectionit wins the electionWhy put up with painful corns any longer?It's a redeemable coupon, no obligationno salesman will visit your homeWe got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpotprizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteedHow do we do ithow do we do ithow do we do ithow do we do itWe need your businesswe're going out of businessWe'll give you the businessGet on the businessend of our going-out-of-business saleReceive our free brochure, free brochureRead the easy-to-follow assembly instructionsbatteries not includedSend before midnight tomorrow, terms availableStep right upstep right upstep right upYou got it buddy: the large print givethand the small print taketh awayStep right up</blockquote>

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