Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Knightcrawler" data-source="post: 381483" data-attributes="member: 5097">(A parody of 'Gangsta's Paradise', with apologies to Coolio)As I walk through the mountain where I follow my thaneI take a look at my wife, and realize her beard's very plainBut that's just perfect for a Dwarvish like meYou know I shun fancy things, like sorcery.At 4:30 in the morning I'm mining stonesJonas Steelforge mends the weaponsAnd Thorin groans...Fool!And I've been groaning and stoning so long thatEven Obsidian thinks that me mind be gone.I'm a Dwarf of the stones, I'm into discipline.Got a hammer in me hand and a beard on me chin.But if I finish my deeds and you finish the mine,Then tonight we're going to party like its P.C. 99.We be spending most our livesLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.Bashed Goblins once or twiceLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.It's hard work and sacrificeLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.We sell gems at discount priceLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.A Kender boy picked all of me pockets last week.I just scowled at him, and pushed him in a creek.I really don't care. Too bad it's not a well.And I'll be laughing my head off when he's rotting in jail.But I ain't never punched a wizard, even if he deserved it.A Dwarvish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of.I always wear armor, and I've got a cool flail,And me homies agree,I really look good in scale...Fool!If you come to visit, we be drinkin' beers.We haven't had a sip of water in over 300 years.But we ain't really saints, So please don't point and stare.We're just sociologically impaired.There's no Gnomes, no Elves, no Minotaurs.Not a hint of sorcery.Like Kharas with his HammerWe're as honorable as can be.We be spending most our livesLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.We're just short and stubby guysLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.Giving out some bad adviceLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.We like to fight, we don't play niceLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.Mining out the mountain, polished my gem cutter.Raised a fort on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter.Think you're really grumpy,Mining with your cart? Well I know I'm a million times As stubborn as thou art.I'm the stocky guy all the Gullies want to be likeIn the caves day and nightKillin' Goblins with a butter knife.So grab some gems, and make them shiny,Or else my clansman I might have to get medieval on your heinie!We be spending most our lives Living in a Dwarvish Paradise.We were made by rolling diceLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.Dwarf spirits are our viceLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.But you'd probably think it bitesLiving in a Dwarvish Paradise.</blockquote>

Verification