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<blockquote data-quote="Morrow" data-source="post: 4281097" data-attributes="member: 301"><p><strong>What I Did Over My Six-Month Break: How to Defeat Patriarchy in Three Easy Steps</strong></p><p></p><p>Dear Mother,</p><p></p><p>I hope you enjoy these goodberry poultices. Although Sasserine is a dreadful place to live, the Knowlern family has given me several berry </p><p>bushes superior for casting goodberry. You’ll note how substantial the poultices are. The Knowlerns have been quite helpful, and sincerely hope that these poultices might support the ailing in the forests of Druzistan.</p><p></p><p>I have befriended Liamee, whom I mentioned in my last letter, and together we have brought Lorpth of the bullywugs to the justice of the sword. The frog-people we encountered, as it turns out, call themselves “bullywugs,” which translates as “the people of the swamp” in their language.</p><p></p><p>My conscience would not let Lorpth go free after his cruel treatment of Liamee in Lavinia’s house. Yet I thought his capture should properly be Liamee’s and not mine. I paid her a visit to find her, as I would have been, seething with anger over Lorpth’s treatment of her. She was under no delusions that her capture was her fault, or that she had been shamed (although Lorpth tried to shame her). She was already planning an infiltration of the bullywug swamp with the goal of capturing Lorpth. She was happy to see me and readily accepted my help. We considered bringing our companions on the trip, but ultimately decided that unsuspecting bullywugs were well within our capabilities.</p><p></p><p>We waited until my scapulomancy told us the day was auspicious. Liamee cloaked us both in invisibility spells and we sneaked to the bullywug village under cover of darkness. The bones did not lie--Lorpth was sleeping alone in his tent, drunk, from the smell of him. I hit him about the head with my quarterstaff. Liamee brought out her scroll of hold person and was about to read it when bullywug guards entered Lorpth’s hut, under the command of Lorb-Lorb Tub.</p><p></p><p>They were all ready to engage us in combat, but I called out to Lorb-Lorb Tub. I commended her on her cunning in noticing as we entered Lorpth’s tent. I suggested that there must not be too much love lost between them, or she would have been sleeping in his arms. I complimented her on her leadership in Lavinia’s house, and especially on how she treated her enemies with honor (instead of torturing them, say). I wondered if there wasn’t some way this could end that would be beneficial to all of us women.</p><p></p><p>Lorb-Lorb Tub smiled and bit her cigar. She said, “In our tribe, leadership passes when someone beats the chief in single combat. That person then chooses the next leader.”</p><p></p><p>“A very wise system,” I said. “Liamee, wouldn’t you like to challenge Lorpth in single combat?”</p><p></p><p>“I challenge you, Lorpth of the bullywugs,” Liamee spit at him. Lorpth snored. Apparently the bullywugs brew strong liquor in the marshes.</p><p>Liamee put away her scroll of hold person and raised her hands instead. Darts of energy shot from her fingers to Lorpth’s heart. He lay dead in his stinking hut as befits a coward and a fool.</p><p></p><p>Liamee appointed Lorb-Lorb Tub to be the new chieftan of the bullywugs, of course, and we left them to tend to the body of their beaten leader. I believe it is bullywug custom to leave dead bodies outside the village for the alligators to eat. I plan to send Lorb-Lorb a box of nice cigars to congratulate her on her new position.</p><p></p><p>In other news, my friends and I are to accompany Lavinia on a mission to a colony her family planted on the Isle of Dread in the South Seas. She assures me that the natives were in no position to look after this island themselves, and that civilized colonists are a boon to everyone. I have my doubts. Nonetheless, I have been teaching Bolk to be a wolf at home on a boat. She is getting her “sea legs” remarkably fast.</p><p></p><p>I give my love to you and father, and to all our sisters in Druzistan.</p><p></p><p>Love,</p><p></p><p>Elyoshenka</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Morrow, post: 4281097, member: 301"] [b]What I Did Over My Six-Month Break: How to Defeat Patriarchy in Three Easy Steps[/b] Dear Mother, I hope you enjoy these goodberry poultices. Although Sasserine is a dreadful place to live, the Knowlern family has given me several berry bushes superior for casting goodberry. You’ll note how substantial the poultices are. The Knowlerns have been quite helpful, and sincerely hope that these poultices might support the ailing in the forests of Druzistan. I have befriended Liamee, whom I mentioned in my last letter, and together we have brought Lorpth of the bullywugs to the justice of the sword. The frog-people we encountered, as it turns out, call themselves “bullywugs,” which translates as “the people of the swamp” in their language. My conscience would not let Lorpth go free after his cruel treatment of Liamee in Lavinia’s house. Yet I thought his capture should properly be Liamee’s and not mine. I paid her a visit to find her, as I would have been, seething with anger over Lorpth’s treatment of her. She was under no delusions that her capture was her fault, or that she had been shamed (although Lorpth tried to shame her). She was already planning an infiltration of the bullywug swamp with the goal of capturing Lorpth. She was happy to see me and readily accepted my help. We considered bringing our companions on the trip, but ultimately decided that unsuspecting bullywugs were well within our capabilities. We waited until my scapulomancy told us the day was auspicious. Liamee cloaked us both in invisibility spells and we sneaked to the bullywug village under cover of darkness. The bones did not lie--Lorpth was sleeping alone in his tent, drunk, from the smell of him. I hit him about the head with my quarterstaff. Liamee brought out her scroll of hold person and was about to read it when bullywug guards entered Lorpth’s hut, under the command of Lorb-Lorb Tub. They were all ready to engage us in combat, but I called out to Lorb-Lorb Tub. I commended her on her cunning in noticing as we entered Lorpth’s tent. I suggested that there must not be too much love lost between them, or she would have been sleeping in his arms. I complimented her on her leadership in Lavinia’s house, and especially on how she treated her enemies with honor (instead of torturing them, say). I wondered if there wasn’t some way this could end that would be beneficial to all of us women. Lorb-Lorb Tub smiled and bit her cigar. She said, “In our tribe, leadership passes when someone beats the chief in single combat. That person then chooses the next leader.” “A very wise system,” I said. “Liamee, wouldn’t you like to challenge Lorpth in single combat?” “I challenge you, Lorpth of the bullywugs,” Liamee spit at him. Lorpth snored. Apparently the bullywugs brew strong liquor in the marshes. Liamee put away her scroll of hold person and raised her hands instead. Darts of energy shot from her fingers to Lorpth’s heart. He lay dead in his stinking hut as befits a coward and a fool. Liamee appointed Lorb-Lorb Tub to be the new chieftan of the bullywugs, of course, and we left them to tend to the body of their beaten leader. I believe it is bullywug custom to leave dead bodies outside the village for the alligators to eat. I plan to send Lorb-Lorb a box of nice cigars to congratulate her on her new position. In other news, my friends and I are to accompany Lavinia on a mission to a colony her family planted on the Isle of Dread in the South Seas. She assures me that the natives were in no position to look after this island themselves, and that civilized colonists are a boon to everyone. I have my doubts. Nonetheless, I have been teaching Bolk to be a wolf at home on a boat. She is getting her “sea legs” remarkably fast. I give my love to you and father, and to all our sisters in Druzistan. Love, Elyoshenka [/QUOTE]
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