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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Vraille Darkfang" data-source="post: 2185717" data-attributes="member: 16989">Here's one from the don't drink & game advice column.In college, 2nd ed.  Running a campaign versus giants.One of the players had been drinking a little before hand, not enough to be drunk, just enough to turn off the That's a Stupid Idea Filter.Party's trap in a small cave with no exit & a bunch of giants outside waiting for them to come out.  (Their own fault, charging in screaming eat this!  Ain't the best way to sneak up on frost giants).So, the frost giant shaman offers to spare their lives if they come out (life of slavery in the mines).  Party decides that gives them the better chance of survival, they'll get a chance to escape eventually.Drinking Guy (Let's call him RC) says: "Wait, what about our stuff?  I don't want to lose my Ring of Wizardry!"  Party them begins to argue.  Trying to find a way to not give all their magic stuff to the frost giants.  Predominate theory is to bury it there & come back for it later.  Then, out of the blue....RC: "Wait!  I've got a bag of holding!  We can put all our magic items in the bag & then I'll hide it up my a**!" Everyone shuts up, looks at RC.  "What the..."  What are you talking about?  You see that morning on the radio (one of the all morning music shows that crams in 45 minutes of talk every hour) had a segment on their weird news about a guy who smuggled a BOWIE KNIFE into someplace via his rectum.  RC's alcohol infected reasoning is, if a bowie knife will fit back there.... (Plus he had an expansive porn collection detailing the full extent of what will fit in that particular orrifice).To my surprise, he convinces the rest of the party, except for the paladin's intelligent holy greatsword (quote: "There's no way I'm going up some skinny elven wizard's backside!).  Eventually, over the swords objections, it goes into the bag.I skipped over the "insertion phase".  The party then walked out.  The elf a bit more gingerly than the rest.I am very surprised I've been able to keep a straight face this entier time.  You see the frost giant shaman had a Quasit familiar, who had been invisible the whole time & listened to EVERY WORD the party said.Thus party emerges, says the surrender.  Frost Giant Shaman says "search them, and chain them, they'll make good slave until they die."Then, one of the true moments of DM happiness.  Quasit becomes visible, points to elf mage & says:  "Search this one good!  He's got a Holy Greatsword shoved up his a**!"Thus was the elven mage given a body cavity search by a frost giant.  (Again, I skipped over roleplaying this out.)Afterwards the frost giants leads off the chained PC's (the elf walking even more gingerly than before) and the Frost Giant Shaman gets all their magic stuff.When they did escape.....I won't mention what the elf mage did to the Quasit.</blockquote>

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