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(Mostly OT) One Thousand tips for Evil Overlords
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<blockquote data-quote="Lord_of_Doom" data-source="post: 283774" data-attributes="member: 621"><p>Hopefully by now we have all read and memorized the <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"></li> </ul><p><a href="http://www.eviloverlord.com" target="_blank">Evil Overlord List </a> If you haven't, do so now. No self-respecting villain in any campaign can ignore it.</p><p></p><p>As wondrous as the list is, there are still some problems with it. For one, the list is nearly six years old, and is somewhat out-of-tune with the challenges facing a truly modern Evil Overlord of the 21st century. Witness the quaint reminder to "pad all important files to 1.45MB in size", for example. </p><p></p><p>Furthermore, there are only 231 items on the list. Surely we, the finest community in all the world of creators of Evil Overlords can add new insight to the wonderful world of Evil Overlordom.</p><p></p><p>Here's a start:</p><p></p><p>232. I will ensure that when any demons, serpents, behemoths and so on in my service encounter the hero, they do not wave their various appendages around in an intimidating manner whilst giving the hero precious seconds to flee. Instead, they are to devour the hero immediately and only pose for the cameras afterwards with the bloody remnants. </p><p></p><p>233. Likewise, these dread beasts will be fed a steady diet of spicy foods so that they all have severe heartburn. Thusly, any being swallowed whole will be instantly overwhelmed by the excess of acid, with none of this nonsense about being able to cut its way out. </p><p></p><p>234. As an equal opportunity despot, I will see fit that a substantial portion of my Legions of Terror are allergic to latex. In this way, anyone trying to sneak into my fortress while wearing one of those skin-tight latex masks will be promptly detected.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lord_of_Doom, post: 283774, member: 621"] Hopefully by now we have all read and memorized the [list] [/list] [URL=http://www.eviloverlord.com]Evil Overlord List [/URL] If you haven't, do so now. No self-respecting villain in any campaign can ignore it. As wondrous as the list is, there are still some problems with it. For one, the list is nearly six years old, and is somewhat out-of-tune with the challenges facing a truly modern Evil Overlord of the 21st century. Witness the quaint reminder to "pad all important files to 1.45MB in size", for example. Furthermore, there are only 231 items on the list. Surely we, the finest community in all the world of creators of Evil Overlords can add new insight to the wonderful world of Evil Overlordom. Here's a start: 232. I will ensure that when any demons, serpents, behemoths and so on in my service encounter the hero, they do not wave their various appendages around in an intimidating manner whilst giving the hero precious seconds to flee. Instead, they are to devour the hero immediately and only pose for the cameras afterwards with the bloody remnants. 233. Likewise, these dread beasts will be fed a steady diet of spicy foods so that they all have severe heartburn. Thusly, any being swallowed whole will be instantly overwhelmed by the excess of acid, with none of this nonsense about being able to cut its way out. 234. As an equal opportunity despot, I will see fit that a substantial portion of my Legions of Terror are allergic to latex. In this way, anyone trying to sneak into my fortress while wearing one of those skin-tight latex masks will be promptly detected. [/QUOTE]
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