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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mystery Man" data-source="post: 1299571" data-attributes="member: 13273"><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px">This year, I resolve to...</span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">3. Read less. Makes you think.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">11. Not have eight children at once.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">12. Get in a whole NEW rut!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">13. Start being superstitious.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">14. Personal goal: bring back disco.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">15. Not wrestle with Jesse Ventura.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">16. Not bet against the Minnesota Vikings.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">17. Buy an '83 El Dorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">18. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">19. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">20. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">21. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">22. Not eat cloned meat.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">23. Create loose ends.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">24. Get more toys.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">25. Get further in debt.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">26. Not believe politicians.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">27. Break at least one traffic law.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">28. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">29. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">30. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">31. Stay off the MIR space station.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">32. Not worry that the Y2K bug will cause the end of the world.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">33. Get wired with high-speed net connections at home.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">34. Not swim with piranhas or sharks.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">35. Associate with even worse business clients.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">36. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">37. Wait around for opportunity.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">38. Focus on the faults of others.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">39. Mope about my faults.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">40. Never make New Year's resolutions again!!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>

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