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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Treebore" data-source="post: 3249309" data-attributes="member: 10177">Yeah, just because they are family does not mean you are required to love them if they don't give you the same.Take my wife's mother for an example. For the last ten years her brothers and sisters have been paying her rent, her utilities, bought her a $6,000 used mini van, "loaned" her unknown amounts of many (I know she got over $3,000.00 out of just us), paid for her at restaurants 100's of times, all because she is "so poor", with her having a $26,000/year job.So how does she not have any money? What does she spend it on, it sure isn't cost of living, since she had lunch and dinner over at hers sisters every day of the week, since her job was literally right across the street.Well, we found out why, she is seriously mentally ill. But her family will not support us in getting her taken care of. So we have cut off all communication/association with her. We get occassional updates about her through my wife's brother and that is about it.I won't go through my wife's history of abuse from her mother, suffice it to say its ugly.My wife has finally come to accept there is only so much you can do. Her mother is a monster. She has tried to do everything she can to help her mother fix herself, her mother, and her mothers side of the family refused to let it happen. My kids are afraid of her and don't like her.So we have cut her loose. The last year has been the best year of my wife's life. She still has "guilt" issues, but she seems to be getting better about it. My kids and I sure haven't missed her "insanity" either.So do what you feel you have to do. There will come a time where you will either have a good "break through" with your brother, or you will realize why we have that saying, "You can take your horse to the water, but you can't make him drink."So, knowing as little as I do about your whole story, tell your brother the truth about how you feel. Tell him waht you want and ask him if there is anyway for the two of you to get "there", wherever that is.Get a resolution, good or bad, then get on with the rest of your life.</blockquote>

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