Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="AuroraGyps" data-source="post: 2060174" data-attributes="member: 1166">There's alot of info I'm gonna leave out, but I'll try to write the important stuff.OK, my grandma is a great, tough old lady.  She's 82.  She's delt with a husband (he passed almost 20 years ago) that had a heart problem for over 30 years, a hip problem from falling off a roof (later it was replaced), was an alcholic for over 20 years, had a stroke, and cancer twice.  She's had two hip replacements, a knee replacement, & cancer twice.  They raised 3 kids, including my mom who has severe scoliosis.  Despite all this, she drove a short bus till she was almost 60, gardened, read, go up to stay in a trailor in the Catskills on property that she's ( and granpa when he was around) owned for years, did crafts, and drove up until a few years ago. A couple of years ago, she moved in w/ my aunt (her other daughter) and uncle (this was on Long Island), because she couldn't live on her own anymore due to her hip being so bad (this is before the 2nd replacement).  They treated her awfully.  They always complained, about how they had to take care of her (they refused to have someone in to help because they thought things would get stolen).  They refused to believe she couldn't walk (later her doctor couldn't believe how she dealt with being in such pain... the hip was desintergrating (sp?).  They said she did things for attention, that she was becoming senile.  She pretty much stayed in that room, a tiny room, for a year.  It did awful things to her mood & her state of mind.  They also would occasionally leave her by herself in the house for 1, 2, 3 hours at a time.After she went to get her hip fixed , she was in rehab.  The place wasn't nice.  My mom and other uncle (my grandma's son) were worried about her, worried about how my aunt was treating her and where she was, so my mom found a really nice up by her (in Putnam County, NY), where my mom knew alot of the doctors that dealt with this place.  She moved up before Thanksgiving and she'd so much happier.The problem is my aunt and uncle are still being awful.  They haven't visited her yet (neither has my cousin, his wife, and their 2 daughters,3 years and 6 monthes), yet they always complained that my uncle and mom didn't visit enough.  My aunt complain that my mom & uncle didn't help with g-mom enough, and when my mom said she physically couldn't because of her back, my aunt told her she was tired of hearing about her back (mom's spine has two 70 degree curves in it, a metal rod, and is calcified... she can't do much anymore).  My aunt told my g-mom that all the gold jewelery that she'd ever bought for my g-mom, she wanted back when she died.  With out asking she gave the motorized wheelchair to her father-in-law and a special recliner to her son... both of which my g-mom bought with her own money.  She kept all of my g-mom's jewelery at her house, because she thinks my mom would steal it (most of which is not her style.  I mean, if my g-mom went out, she wouldn't even be able to have my mom bring a necklace or something so she could dress up and look pretty. They feel that because they helped her as she got older, they deserve tons of stuff.  They say my mom & uncle ran away from LI, so they wouldn't have to take care of my grandparents.  Of course, my aunt & uncle never had to pay for a babysitter the whole time my cousin was growing up.All these two think about are things, cash, and putting themselves out.  My grandmother deserves so much more.  Now that she's in this new place, she's so much better.  Ok, her eyes are going, her hearing's not so good, she has arthritis, and she still can't seem to walk, but her mind is still sharp.  I talked to my mom this morning and told her to tell my g-mom that maybe she should start demanding back things that are hers, because she want to decide what should happen to them.  I mean, if stuff and $ is all they understand, maybe my g-mom should start talking their language.  We, my mom, my uncle, and I don't want anything.  All we want is for my grandma to be happy.  I say all the time that if she wanted to go bungee jumping, I'd back her up. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> Help!!!  What can my grandma do?  I almost think that she should seek legal help to make sure her things end up where she wants them to go.  I also think she should edit her will.  Just because they're related, doesn't mean they deserve things.  How they treat her should mean something.  My mom says she shouldn't do these things, because it'lll just make more problems, but like I said, if that's the only way my aunt and uncle will HEAR her, maybe it has to be done... even if it's just starting things to show that she is her own woman and that she deserves respect and to be listened to.   I wish I could do more for my g-mom myself, but it's hard with my problems (plus being 6-7 hours away)... I just have so much on my mind I'm overwhelmed, but I think of her all the time.  I still plan on moving back to my home town, but it probably will be months before things are set up there and here (packing, making room for me, taking care of paperwork).  Till then, I want to help my grandma to stand up for herself.Thanks for any help you guys can give.  Feel free to ask questions if you need to.</blockquote>

Verification