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Message: <blockquote data-quote="AuroraGyps" data-source="post: 2062510" data-attributes="member: 1166">Well, once my g-mom got into the rehab palace after her surgery, she did strat standing up to my aunt a bit.  It was her decision to move into a home, we wanted her to be where she wanted to go.  My aunt felt that after all my g-mom had gone through in her life, she deserved to not be in a home and stay in their house with family, but she didn't realize that it was really a detrament to my g-mom's health.  She needed to be around people, especially people her own age and that she had things in common with (most of her friends have passed on where she used to live).  But what they gave her was constant belittling, complaining that she had to go to the bathroom to much, saying she could walk, and whe she'd fall, say she could get up herself.  They treated her like an idiot, like a child, saying she did things for attention and that she was going senile... well, if I was stuck in that tiny room for 1 1/2 years (my mom corrected me) I would've started to lose it to.Now that she's in her new place, she has friends.  She looks SO MUCH better than when she was stuck in that little room, where usually the only company was her 2 year old great-granddaughter and my aunts cat... their both nice, but not much for stimulating conversation.  She's healthier too, she'd had an eye twich.. gone, and her blood pressure is normal where it was high when she was with my aunt.  She's also started to talk more about how much my aunt hurt her by treating her the way she did and things that she'd said to her.  She's standing up for herself a bit more too, both because she feels better and because since my aunt has nothing to do with her care, she doesn't have to worry about "punishment".Alot of my aunt & uncles problems go back to when my grandfather died and they a big deal about alot of stuff.  They stayed on the island while my mom & uncle and their families moved away.  Nothing made them stay on the island... my uncle worked (he's since retired) from the LI railroad, but there're railroads all over the country.  Another thorn in my aunt's side is that my g-mom gave the 60 acres she had in the Catskills to my uncle (her only son), which being such a big thing will probably be almost the only thing she leaves him and his family.  My uncle and his family have lived their for almost 30 years and have been paying the taxes on the property for a long time.  My aunt made a big stink that what preoperty he didn't live on should've been split up between the grandchildren (there's four of us... her son, me, and my uncle's daughter and son).  I for one, didn't want a part of it, even though I could use the money.  I want the property to stay in the family, not be chopped into parts and maybe sold off.  As long as I can still go up and visit, I'm fine with what she did.  I even told my aunt this during a arguement between her and my mom, to which my aunt told me was none of my business.  I feel that as soon as she said it should've been split between the grandchilden, it became my business.Now, don't think I want to get a ton of stuff from her myself.  When she was cleaning out her house, she asked what I wanted.  I said: one of your old aluminum glasses (which went somewhere else I guess), anything with a pansy on it, because I collect pansy stuff (I got some old cards), and this old button necklace that she used to wear and had broken (I'm going to cover a wooden picture frame with the buttons and put her picture in it).  I also got an old fashioned fold away bed, a bed frame, a dresser, and a sewing cabinet... all because I needed funiture and it was decided by her and ohter relatvies that I could have these things.  None of this stuff is fancy.  I've been told by my mom that my g-mom is trying to decide what to do with her engagement ring.  I said that I'd be honored if she gave it to me... maybe some of her toughness would rub off on me and I could use that.  But I don't even remeber what it looks like, and she can do whatever she want s with, including being buried with it if she wanted.Like I've said... all I really want is for her to be happy.  My mom tells me about this stuff that goes on, but I don't know how much my g-mom knows that I know.  I have a feeling no matter what happens that when she goes, my aunt and uncle will be unhappy about something.  I just think that what my g-mom wants done, she should be able to say and be heard.  If she has to speak the only language that my aunt understands, which is "things, money, and how it affects her", maybe that how my g-mom should express herself, even if it's to just get my aunts attention so she'll start listening.  My aunt has hurt her so bad, she's kept alot in, now it's time, before it's to late, to let it all out.  I know how hard it is to regret things you did or didn't do.  I hope that in heaven, you don't feel regret, but if you do, I'd like my g-mom to go there with as few as possible.     I'll tell ya, sometimes I wish my grandpa wwas stilla round, cause if he saw how my aunt was treating my grandmother, he'd kick her ass.<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />  Maybe, he could come into her dreams and tell her to stop being such a brat.<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

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