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<blockquote data-quote="Sejs" data-source="post: 2646552" data-attributes="member: 4910"><p>To be honest, it needs work. However, I'm feeling generous, so what the heck, let's have a go at ol' Slade.</p><p></p><p>Okay, to get things rolling, posting the stats just so I don't have to have two pages up at once.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Alright, now from the other thread you mention this guy is basically a crimeboss. Fair enough. Now as I see it, he's got two major deficiencies as far as making him a worthwhile villain.</p><p></p><p>1) His stats are all kinds of Crazy With High Number. We need to rope that back in. First thing that needs to be done: cut out the FFXI items. They're just gone. Don't mix systems, BMH, it doesn't work out in the end. Second thing, the Shadow Kukri would be ridiculously powerful even for an epic item. It either has to go entirely, or it needs to be seriously reworked from the ground on up. Third; rebuilding the character himself. Now to your credit you seem much more conversant with the rules than the last time we spoke, but there's still a bit to go. *smile*</p><p></p><p>2) He's a villain without a cause. Sure, he's a badguy, but <em>why</em> is he a badguy, what does he do that makes him a badguy, and so on? He also seems, well, far too sympathetic of a character to be a real good villain. As it stands he's ... following the footsteps of his father and picking up the family tradition of... crimebossdom? Nah, that's limp. Needs work. Needs grit. Likewise, he's got his lovely wife and three kids. Seems rather idylic, don't it? Too much so for a badguy. Oh, and the surname "Shadowhawk" absolutly <em>must</em> go. It's hokey. Besides, if this guy is really a crimeboss, it would behoove him not to advertise his nefarious dealings with a name like that. It's basically one step up from Stan Von Killspeopleformoney.</p><p></p><p>Suggestions on how one might fix the above to follow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sejs, post: 2646552, member: 4910"] To be honest, it needs work. However, I'm feeling generous, so what the heck, let's have a go at ol' Slade. Okay, to get things rolling, posting the stats just so I don't have to have two pages up at once. Alright, now from the other thread you mention this guy is basically a crimeboss. Fair enough. Now as I see it, he's got two major deficiencies as far as making him a worthwhile villain. 1) His stats are all kinds of Crazy With High Number. We need to rope that back in. First thing that needs to be done: cut out the FFXI items. They're just gone. Don't mix systems, BMH, it doesn't work out in the end. Second thing, the Shadow Kukri would be ridiculously powerful even for an epic item. It either has to go entirely, or it needs to be seriously reworked from the ground on up. Third; rebuilding the character himself. Now to your credit you seem much more conversant with the rules than the last time we spoke, but there's still a bit to go. *smile* 2) He's a villain without a cause. Sure, he's a badguy, but [i]why[/i] is he a badguy, what does he do that makes him a badguy, and so on? He also seems, well, far too sympathetic of a character to be a real good villain. As it stands he's ... following the footsteps of his father and picking up the family tradition of... crimebossdom? Nah, that's limp. Needs work. Needs grit. Likewise, he's got his lovely wife and three kids. Seems rather idylic, don't it? Too much so for a badguy. Oh, and the surname "Shadowhawk" absolutly [i]must[/i] go. It's hokey. Besides, if this guy is really a crimeboss, it would behoove him not to advertise his nefarious dealings with a name like that. It's basically one step up from Stan Von Killspeopleformoney. Suggestions on how one might fix the above to follow. [/QUOTE]
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