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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Number47" data-source="post: 882999" data-attributes="member: 84">Here is another Markov-chain text, made from Wulf Ratbane's story hour. This time, I cleared out the non-story stuff before I ran it through. I can't tell if that made it better or worse.______________________Eager to put the whole neighborhood. The old man wrapped up the axe and the halfling sitting wide-eyed in the right hand side of the tower.Now, Wulf wasovercome with a lockpick himself. "No,*I* got it, I gotplenty of money." And with that, he flung wide the door open, his grin vanishing as he tried to besome sort of abandoned warehouse, and if yer couldhelp, in yer room scribblin' away... I thought yer weremaking a scroll to get any further! Ach, for the burning to pass. "Now THAT'S howa dwarf finds a trap. (cough) All clear uphere. Still... all... clear...")The orcs were running out of the scheduledtime. The exact details of plots against the ground as thethrone before a huge fireball roaring up the hill, his furious brows and put away his fire and lamp oil. Keldas and locked eyes with the blow had knocked himunconscious, so he wouldn't be arrested, or perhaps he waswilling to risk sending anyone acrossalone. Back and forth, muttering and mumbling, though betweenbabbling and begging she seemed toturn around. "Very well, come in, come in. The Illithid Wars! For such anoble cause, of course I can find something." The dwarf stood with his constantkibitzing and second-guessing of hisacolytes, who began quietly and unobtrusively laying hands on their ownmortality was theonly thing keeping Halma alive at the far end of the town was having.The northern caves were mostly raw, unworked stone, but they concentrated theirattacks on him andstarted hacking a path to defeat. They got the better of Wulf again as his nextvictim. As Wulf dispatched the last to die-- alone. Heswung his greatsword hissing as he pondered this.But by far his thoughts were preoccupied with the little gnome until Kellick, too,fell. The angry warriors turned to dusk, and night was falling rapidly, butthe hall was silent. They could still hear the sound of the tower.Now, Wulf was mad, and he'd fought a bloody dragon, right?Fortunately, the gorilla turned its attention on Wulf, wounding him deeply. It seemed nothingmore than the ones they'd seen previously. Thebreastplates they all regainedtheir senses.Keldas the dragon was probably an illusion too.He'd simply focused his eyes and his templeinfiltrated, they were all dead. In his brief moment of clarity, itseemed to him NOW.""Ahh, yes." His eyes flickered across the floor.Wulf drew axe and dagger, the halfling rogue: "Protect the mage and theparty to a nasty ravine. There was no matchfor him in desperation, they would catch him.Keldas was the day a dwarf can't nick up the back ofthe stage. Blood came gushing from her neck, spraying the actors infront, and she toppled over, revealing a disgusting creature on herback. It had disgusting grey skin, wild wiry hair, and the halfling who had drained the Roach took the axe would burst intothe ground, and waspaid off shortly as two scruffy-looking ratmen tried to calm the crowd as theypassed the large open-air market where many of the tower. Moments later, the party continued down the stairs ahead of her.A good night's rest and recuperatein the forges beingworked off to the north. ("Yep. All clear uphere. Still... all... clear...")This wasn't Wulf's kind of silent rogues' language, though he half suspected thepeck had simply dreamed it up into the thick of thecurtains at the creature, and was already pacing the floor,where his keen eyes soon uncovered just such a portal. The door openedonto a long waydown to the gorilla, to face thesorceror. It was anarrogant, superior, and utterly intolerable elf. Wulf was pre-occupiedwith the battle moredesperate. Diessa did her best to counter the evil priestess and protecther party. Keldas was unable to understand the gutteral Orcishlanguage of the prisoners, promised they'd have betterluck in the front door, the old man with tan gums.' " Wulf smiled and made a wide battle-stance behind him, and it was ashort walk from thebell tower in the hall. Together they crossed thelength of the dragon-- his comrades back out the caves-- more grick, moretrogs, some yellow mold and even a roper-- leaving only the second floor. He could dive out. He could hear Halma's footsteps returning up the back stairs, alone, to check out the deeper levels, you will find a young dragon that has takenup residence there. She has some small amount of gold, some small magical trinkets,and a lady at that. He shrugged. In the end, blood and battle were hisloves. He had little time to waste." Wulf kept moving through the orc leader, and matching daily rates from the alleyway. It was a hole, a chimneyof some sort, with smoke wisping out.The party settled down for a flask of oil. He was beaten, bruised, and shamed, butstill hanging on to the orcs!Now we have for you?"They all nodded, so the arrow would pop out of sight.Wulf was sure to take the ass-whippin' yer got a were-rat problem, right?""Apparently, yes." Her icy calm was surely long gone. No invisible enemieswere around to astartled-looking man and asked, "Who does this tower belong to?""Uh... uhh... to the edge of the second vat. Toss a little bit of her skill and magic, and those who were notready for the guard finally arrived. Unfortunately,such lawlessness, no matter how timely and beneficial, posed a stickyproblem for the one they were no clues to lead them to their shots. Halmaregistered little opinion other than the righteous butchery of evildoers,it was theonly thing keeping Halma alive at the people aroundthem. "Relax. They'll just peace-bond it, see?"Wulf was in town, was thankful for their fellows. Unfortunately, hisShield was too late."Ach. Well. No offense, friend, but it was a mighty cheer from the other side of the old man."Wanted yer to try tocheat the rest of the tower. Moments later, the party wasunder no circumstances to disturb his eternal rest by Raising him fromthe back ranks and sent a huge half-ogre of some unknown little peck!Nevertheless, the halfling was long since out of the cavern."Now just hold on a couple of flasks of oil-- since Halma insisted he wouldn't make it back to their word, the western area was home to quite afew more coins in their torchlight, and screamed out an agonizing wail. Theparty watched helplessly as their contents spilled onto each other,mixed, and sent a huge half-ogre of some kind, hadtaken a back way an' take out anyhidden catches. Nothing. The dwarf followed the old woman. ?Who is the day he deserves to die. One at a time as they seemed. The witchsuddenly appeared in the doorway of theaxe. Whang! Taranak was unharmed, but the creature had hit him, and he stalked across the roombeyond, an atrium of sorts. Several passages led off into the house, with the ruthless efficiency that onlyhalf-crazed, knife-wielding circus acrobats can do. The surreality ofthe town well and could at least point you in thecenter of town had had a PLAN.Oblivious to the gate stopped them unexpectedly,things went from bad to worse."No weapons in the party. Wulf saw the man stagger, and looked wistfully over. Ifhe had to be out of the cavern."Now just hold on a small room guarded by three large statues: dour dwarven warriors,with wide bronze axes held high. Each ominous statue stood impassivelywatching a different exit.Wulf halted the party out of the duergar using illusions before, so it had only takenhim a moment forsomething to happen. "Hmm... And, praise Moradin!"Wulf sniffed. "Right. That oughtter do it. Yer can come up the path home, either. If the orcs only had two guards at the north held a beautiful young girl, trapped in the midst of a hill. Perched at the front, andHalma able to inform them that, as the troglodytes were close enough, the duergar sorceress. Wulf brought his axe again... He waswell pleased to meet him.""Right. Gotcha. Thanks. Hey! Tell him toback away. ("Better yer than me...")Wulf heard the inevitable trip-wire orlatch that would... <click>"Oh bloody..."There was a little bit of a pretty little chit.Eager to put his back on them. He was hurt, but not badly. More importantly,the trail was starting to look a little bit of info was discovered the next cavern-- it wasn't exactly the kind of writ or summat like that, yer oughtto get handy with the others cruising confidentlyin his wake, as the old man's protests."I got no rats in there? No rats here!"That clinched it. Wulf and Halma could only suppose itwas better to leave a locked door behind them than an open passage. Theparty turned to Halma."Ey. Put this on, an' don't mention it. Just be there to greetthem. Wulf straigtened his back to him."Who do you propose, then?" The warriors eased their aim just a closet, really. Inside were two tanks of liquid, withtwo tubes that ran up tointercept it and stared the halfling moved in and have a meeting with the halfling."Hear anything?""Sounds like... wings flapping. I think they're getting clo..."A small swarm of leathery-winged creatures came bounding onto the shaft of the room behind them, the party's behalf-- despite thefact that they wouldn't screw up."Fine fine fine! Ten crowns for the love of..." Wulf stomped over and found a young dragon that has takenup residence there. She has some small magical trinkets,and a couple of kicks in the jam packed back room was bleeding fromplaces that ordinarily shouldn't-- eyes, ears, noses-- and thebarbarian surged forward, dragging tendrils of mist after him. Keldasand Alliane were taking the worst of it, that wasn't so bad after all.A low whistle from the other side. It would take to climb down and, as always, howrisky it would be useless against the localvermin. See? Take care of yerself like I do and yer'll have the truth out of the door butwas confounded by the clever craftsmanship. Keldas suggested a return to the Great Hall, expecting his allies to follow right behind him. Misty was down;Keldas had abandoned them (apart from his watchpost atop a wagon and cast his Shield spell. The halflingstepped nearer and pulled the Roach took the saddlebags off the sorceress with one last acid arrow...Wulf forced the halfling as he pondered this.But by far his thoughts were preoccupied with the dragon. They werewilling to risk sending anyone acrossalone. Back and forth, muttering and mumbling, though betweenbabbling and begging she seemed to be wading in amongst them, but the creaturecollapsed in one cleaving blow.Keldas was ready with Glitterdust, though.""What!?" In the countless times Keldas had driven off Turvin and his longsword came whistling out in the doorway outof the rope bridge."How the hell did yer find your way back to town to the bridge first, to take out the other side; Keldas toyed with the blow as best hecould to takecircumstances into account if you ask me--tough, yer know... like a nice piece o' goblin jerky." The very old man... and he dashed to the Baron's manor house. They were greetedby the time to squabble over bragging rights-- there were still doing fine, still happily tethered up in the windows. The tower topwas like a windmill. (A windmill of DEATH!)Wulf cackled as orc after orc fell beneath their blades. Occassionallyan arrow would pop out of trouble. The party looked to Wulf-- he was goingto rest with Keldas, perhaps scribe a scroll to getpast... Hey... whatcha doing?"Wulf climbed up onto the desk, whiskers twitching, and began reading the book. Hecouldn't manage to turn his attention to the routine. "Open door now?"Wulf and Halma finally managed to be forgotten.---------On their way back here?""Easy. Follow left hand wall.""Good on yer, boy. Got a few things they told ME. For the right hand side of the forges to the bookshelf where Keldas was angry now."Yes, but as you know, the Baron is busy preparing for hisalchemist's fire, but was only faintly aware of their last outing, but Wulf's incessantgrumbling made it across. The orcs had made her lair. It was when the halfling was to blame.Wulf wrestled with the sounds of battle as the oldman into the jaws of death waiting in the Sunless Citadel,and to scribe a few sacks of coins, some gems,a spare weapon or two. Halma was merely looking forwardto the right-- back to full strength with a stout iron door leading to the orcs!Now we have reclaimed them. You are not needed here. Turn back-- or youwill all pay dearly!""Oh really?" Wulf hitched up his axe. "I figure yer got coming to yer."Wulf was in much better during the day. As they passed through thenorth door.The party agreed with this logic-- but the orcs tokill-- and hequickly scuttled over to whisper to Wulf. "I'll handle this."He drew his axe andgrabbed the critter with hislongsword to hold sword... kill orcs."Halma shrugged; the unlikely heroism of hishealing potion down his throat. Inthe appropriately heroic time,of course."Right. Right then, no problem." He smiled cheerfully. "Just so long as it started-- to thefloor but Wulfstood his ground and took a staggering blow that made him think better of Wulf again as his rope-arrow snaked out of the room.Keldas acted quickly, using his magic to transform himself into a small closetdoor adjacent to the party's next adventurebegan in the eyes."That's right." Captain Shella of thesituation before they were operating out of the usualpaltry sum of a few gold coins per man. The halfling threw some burning oil out into the crevasse rightafter the 200-pound body of the innkeeper-- they'd have a meeting with the blow as best hecould to takecircumstances into account if you ask me--tough, yer know... like a kid caught reaching for their helpwith the ratmen, but was being slowly worndown by Big Ulfe. Every time the big half-ogre's axe came down, Wulf was knocked backward and felt himselffalling off the last moment he struck out instead atthe priestess, but she quickly stepped to a window at the apex was the pre-eminent topic of conversation. Kellick insistedthat, should he ever go to the surface caves to rest-- and plan amore successful assault.It was nearing midnight, but the old Captain hadn't helped any. Now, withthe silence. With rat-men about, Wulf trusted no one. Surely they'd tryto pin a murder on him. He felt the burden of leadership, so he moved tothe heroes' side for a moment sooner,Kellick would have been put off by the displacement.Alliane stepped into the darkness, swathed in black scales. He chuckled tohimself."Next one out of the viscousgreek fire, heaved back his arm, and prepared to hurl it backhanded atthe beckon call to battle, Halmaswept up his axe. "I figure yer got coming to yer."Wulf was the first contingent of orcs, led by a Shield, and readied his sling and sentus to give you his warmest welcome. If you'd be to draw steel. Peck."The party spent a while longer cleaning out the darkenedbasement, while Halma trooped up the back room, but at the temple will ascertain that." She directed two of them, now. Alone.Kellick was the first to regain his senses, drawing his sword quivering. He whispered to Wulf, at least-- another gibbering blob floppedout and began to changeshape again-- this time, no one would care...Unfortunately there was a yelp from the back ofthe creatures retreated back into the half-ogre'shide, dropping him to staycovered, and still perform the selfless task of keeping the party was once againan alarm called out before him...He'd spent years in the bell tower. Though it was too late."Ach. Well. No offense, friend, but it was blindand helpless... ("It's blind, right?" "YES!") He tumbled over behind Halma, followedshortly by the clever craftsmanship. Keldas suggested a return to town to the door."Ach, yer sons o'... aah!" Something was stabbing at him, and assumed it was simply relievedthat they wouldn't be alive when the slaughter starts. We can come on in there!?Quiet!" The guard reached out and knocked on the head and shoulders.This was much worse than before-- doubled over, clutchinghis stomach in nausea. Keldas looked suspiciously like the usualpaltry sum of a pretty upstandingfellow. If his own dead--not my problem.""Well, I didn't get to Halma. As he lay flat on his beard, trying to save the remaining actors. Wulf continued to applaud, but Keldasspotted a secret door behind them than an open passage. Theparty watched helplessly as hisbarbarian buddy trampled his battered body onto the witch behind. The halfing stoodshock still, even as the constant threat from the back way and come take a few things they told ME. For the right words, andaddressing the priestess directly. "Aluv•! We make a deal with her if yer*have* to run, of course."The party gathered up quietly and unobtrusively laying hands on their own to the priestess. "The boy respects your power. We donot want to know what information we have reclaimed them. You are not needed here. Turn back-- or youwill all pay dearly!""Oh really?" Wulf hitched his thumbs into his back. Almostimmediately the creature flushed red as it turned tothe local blacksmith and offered a strong pair of orc guardswho were obviously, at that very moment, contemplating doing the exactsame thing to do than wait around athis belt, and waited atop the shrine, struck him, then resonated betweenhim and Halma. He grit his teeth for the local dutifully explained that,being the guildmaster, and a few things they told ME. For the right PRICE,of course."One glance over his axe again... He wasfond of them, but the creature seemed to melt out of sight. Alliane was left waiting on the way and deftlyunknotting the ropes with practiced fingers."And who might yer be, then?""My name is Turvin.""RAT!"Wulf sat up with a strange accent Wulf could not be helped, and concentrated onwhat could. He charged back across the stream,onto Wulf's other hand. "Let's go."They nearly tripped over Misty's body on the road between two steep slopes. Thekeen-eyed halfling spotted some movement on the mad sorceror, whose twisted mind was no time to miss with their feed bags. He rounded up the corpse, but Wulf was a fine pair of dwarven arms to watch, unable to understand the gutteral Orcishlanguage of the arcane carefullystudying the runes covering the blade. Wulf quietly laid claim tothis and slipped it into his off-hand. The two roguestook it on together, each one stabbing it from behind as it was still attached the rest of the forges andonto the duergar sorceress. At lengthshe spoke up. "We see the acolyte on the dragon's hoard was in a mad dash forward, hoping to come booming out with finesse."Not bad. Now use yer other hand." Wulf forced the halfling were soonscampering up behind him andstarted up thehall to join him when he saw one. And hecouldn't simply give the rope bridge.The bridge was cut. The bodies were gone. Wulf moved closer,picking off any orcs who tried to use Glitterdust toreveal invisible foes, he'd always guessed their location wrong andwasted the spell. "That thing is useless! Give us webs and pounded mercilessly. It soon became clear to Wulf for tact and brevity, shrugged, and told him to the halfling moved stealthily upthe path towards the baron hired to rout the orcs to kill the oversized critter and allow the double-sword warrior tostep onto the desk, whiskers twitching, and began to applaudwildly. "Huzzah! Now THAT'S a play!"Another half-dozen of the items that party had picked up the mountain, skillfully and quietly, and approached thechimney. A quick look at that, and the pay was negligible-- but unlike many dwarves, Wulf'sthirst is for battle and blood, not goods and gold-- and the terrified squeaking of the Baron's speech. The plan moves forward!"It was nearing midnight, but the dwarf just shrugged."Knock yerself out." He stepped out of reach of the expanding fireball right in the city.But..." and here she winked at Wulf, whose utter disdain was painted inbroad strokes across his finest selection of riding animals.The halfling just lay there,pouring his life's blood out onto Halma's head and urged his comrades back out the caves-- more grick, moretrogs, some yellow mold and even less through his armor."Getthisfilthythingoffme! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Wulf dropped off his roll and dipped it into his spellbook. Wulf marched in to end the argument. "Let's respect the dead. Comeon." He pointed the halfling had just entered the room through the large cavern and up into thetown of Brindenford. It was a small room to the other side. It would take her to get the bridge first, to take phenomenal dexterity to get to it. I was faking! Suckers! Ha ha ha!"--and pulled out stone axes to close.By now Wulf expected Halma to be a surprisingly apt pupil. Wulf gave up and poured the last of the shrine and found two halflings locked inconcentration on this single, monumental task. ("I'll kill yer myself ifwe live through this!") He had little luck convincing her of his own ear and he, too, could make out the door, and a young dragon that has takenup residence there. She has some small magical trinkets,and a couple of horses werequickly disemboweled before the pounding started on the way you came before?""Aye, meant to ask yer about that... How did yer miss THAT?" Wulf howled at the closet door.Not unexpectedly-- to Wulf, and he and Wulf had the only magic weapon in the humble fashion of so many others: hired on as guards tobabysit a caravan of goods from one ofthe breastplate (...closer...). He'd be damned if he only knew the command word, so the action started quickly. The first nightthe party was asked toaccompany them back to full strength with a bit to protect his allies. Halmarallied as soon as we get back from killing all those orcs."3) The local thieves' guildmaster is NOT willing to "loan out" magicdaggers to wandering pecks.2) The local thieves' guildmaster IS apparently willing to payfor? Hmmm?"The party agreed with this logic-- but the dwarf just shrugged."Knock yerself out." He stepped out of the usual "Smash Orcs! Now!" Thehalfling got that troublesome glint in his opponent's defenses,weaving his little short bow-- but was once again off to rejoin his friends.Halma returned to his belt pouch, right next to Keldas. "Greetings, good dwarf! I am not making any alliance with drow-- as if from nowhere,and were moving in and out a side door.They posted Misty in the middle of a woman screaming. Keldas turned tothe door and Halma was especially impatient. Eventuallythey came to do to persuade him to bring Alliane back to healtheir wounds. It took every bit of anunpleasant and unfamiliar spell. Small sparks of electricitythrough a magical link. Try as he approached, tripping him up and secured a rope to the door. Nothing.His eyes scanned the nameplates, lookingfor somebody who sounded important."How bout we don't?" Wulf stepped in. A man lay dead in the city." The guard rounded the corner just far enough tomove in and read that book."Their new companion, the Roach, whose stocky dwarven frame blockedthe doorway. Wulf and Halma outside the range of Keldas' bow, but didn't dare get any further! Ach, for the trip-- and then, just to add insult toinjury, demanded free food as well. There was a fine line between Halma andKeldas kept right on time, as expected.What was completely lost on him. He gave himself 50/50 odds of swinging from a conclave far away, sworn to the top of theroom, angling for a great-axe; he was fading fast. Hope seemed to have control over his shoulder and did his best tounderstand his spellbook, annoying the wizard with his own opponents.The sorceress stepped away and vanished, leaving a furious Wulf to sense an opportunity. They were all wary and traveling with weapons bared, they were shuffled off in therethan they are out here when the halfling maintained his vigil to the top.His run was almost cut short as an afterthought, "And should youseek out the sound of booted feetretreating into the crevasse.The halfling was persuaded to strip down and the halfling to fit down, if we grease him up and gestured at the sorceror in a heap to the bell tower. There were more duergar roaming around the center ofthe party, but thatperhaps a successful sortie onto the street with them. "Peoplesay it's haunted, always hearing weird noises and talkin' about the time Wulf's comrades joined him. Theyput away their weapons and tried to flick his dagger over and prepared to fling it over theside. "Make it worth yer while."Wulf moved desperately to avoid the creature's skull-- an easy fight.Unfortunately, things were notready for the exit. They knew there was something about this axe. I hate to disturb the rest ofthe creatures retreated back into the room burstopen, and the halfling sitting wide-eyed in theway!""Be patient!" Keldas continued meticulously searching for secret doors,backed up by the lack of orc guardswho were obviously, at that very moment, contemplating doing the exactsame thing to the door open once again. To his delight and surprise he found himself facing down a random side street finally answered his prayers. His keenhalfling ears picked up the same narrow flight to see what happens. Seemed to Wulf, "Whatyou say toWulf, "I told you NOT to do than drag his body near the back stairs, alone, to check it out.""Who are you?" Keldas looked little better. Wulf quickly crushed the life right out of the scheduledtime. The exact details of plots against the orcs' wolves. Wulf dashedforward and grabbed the body into the darkness of the others.Both documents hinted that something eeeevil was brewing, and the anvils of goodness, or summat like that, yer oughtto get handy withlocks."Could be a trap!" the halfling maintained his vigil to the countrysideto chase livestock; the halfling was halfway down the path, whichemptied into a knot around an arrow shaft. ("FIGHT!")Despite the hatred raging through his backpack for a place to stay. Wulf voted for a day to rest against the madman-- though it must benoted, against an undistracted foe aware of your inevitabletreachery?"Keldas had just entered the fray again from the halfling. "Quick! Save Kellick! Use yer potion! Igot that one for yer!" While the red-hot Taranak kept his opponents atbay, Wulf flipped his dagger anddanced about with concussive mental forces that Wulfcould not comprehend-- although, it must benoted, against an old dwarf stared back at the door-- proving himself to be at least point you in pointless battles. We only want to fight drow!"Wulf gave up trying to tell me a little bit of fire."Wait a minute... No..." Keldas started backing away. Halma looked up at the sorceror, who grunted and dropped down with his own people--and a fine piece of rope off his roll and dipped it into the depths again...and Halma did bugger-all to the south end of the creatures landon Halma andWulf fought off magical sleep. Trouble, indeed-- the orc witch wasstanding well behind her and alighted in the other. Wulf struck a particularly telling blow and Taranakexploded into flame.Wulf: Right. Ok!Another quick visit with the equally daunting prospectsof Halma's barbarian greatsword or Keldas' magic, and even a roper-- leaving only the second bronze statue swung its axedown in a heap to the north. ("Nothing to worryabout up here, guys! Yep... all... clear...")The orcs were already drawing javelins of their presence, the halfling tumbled away quickly, but Wulf was mad, and he'd fought a bloody fist in themorning." It was possible,perhaps likely, that they'd purged the caves of all resistance, they unburdenedtheir packs and pockets, and made the fist again. Hecould tell: he was going to personallyhang yer by yer own gutstrings. Have a nice day!"Cadricus was not quite so muffled. "You! The ratman? Did yer see which wayhe went?"The crowd looked on silent and wide-eyed. Someone started shouting forthe guards."Oh, calm yerself! It's just a little.Wulf glanced at Captain Shella. "We must apologize...</blockquote>

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