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Message: <blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 6280282" data-attributes="member: 1210">Especially given his history, it sounds like Bob is a problematic player who has a very different expectation of the role of the player in a campaign vs. the role of the dm than I do. Of course, the dm is the one in charge of the game. He literally needs to know everything. Failing to disclose his background (especially once the dm presses him)? Repeatedly telling the dm "You don't need to know"??Were I the dm, I'd sit him down and explain my concerns and how things work in my game, i.e. that the dm runs things, and everything about your character needs to be run by him- EVERYTHING- and that, no,  you don't get to withhold information. If we couldn't come to an accommodation, by which I mean Bob says "Got it" and subsequently shows that he means it, there might be a second conversation where I reiterated my position and told him that this isn't a negotiation, and he's welcome to seek a game with a group that is more compatible, but that this ain't that group, and if he can't fit into it according to our game's social contract, he gets the boot.You don't have to game with all your friends, and you can stay friends with someone when you drop out of their game or vice-versa. But anytime a player is a problem, he or she is doing more than just annoying you; he's harming the campaign itself. It's not worth having him if he won't play well with others.If you do have the first conversation, the biggest thing is to stick to your guns. If Bob says "Got it!" and then doesn't change his behavior? "Change or the boot, Bob!" -and follow through. Letting Bob say he's going to change and then letting him get away with continuing to disrupt the campaign is the worst possible result here.All IMHO, of course, but clear communication is the way to deal with all player problems. Communicate the standards and expectations of your game, and if he doesn't like them, invite him to find a new one.</blockquote>

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