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Message: <blockquote data-quote="BSF" data-source="post: 1723253" data-attributes="member: 13098">Wow Gnarlo. OK, you want the truth because you can handle it right?  You are in panic mode.  Stop.  I repeat, Stop.Is this girl really worth chasing?  Does she bring nothing but joy and light into your life?  Does she always make the world a brighter, happier place when you are with her?  If not, then stop chasing her.  Any relationship will have stumbling points.  That is normal.  It is not normal to actively pursue those stumbling points.  These are not the moments of a relationship that should be exaggerated or focused on.  If they are the focus of your relationship, then you are in the wrong relationship.Years ago I got out of a relationship that was going bad.  Sure we had good times and memories.  They were over.  She had things she wanted to do.  I had things I wanted to do.  We couldn't even agree to disagree.  There were a lot of things she did that made the relationship hell for me.  Maybe there were things I did that made it hell for her as well?  I don't know.  The good memories were just that and she is out of my life now.  I took from that relationship a few things that seemed obvious once I was out of it.If if seems like you are always fighting, you are.If it seems like you are unhappy, you are.If it seems like she likes to cause you hurt and pain, she does.If the only reason you are in a relationship is because the other person would be perfect if they would only change this, that or the other, then you are in the wrong relationship.You cannot change somebody.  They can only change themselves.  If they change only to accomodate your desires, then they will be unhappy with that change.Do not make any life changing decisions in your current state of mind.  It will almost certainly lead to continued misery.  If you want to salvage this relationship, it starts with communication.  Deep, heart-felt communication.  If the two of you can't do that, then there is no relationship worth having here. You say you don't know anything about her past.  Why not?  It sounds like she doesn't want to communicate with you.  I know you don't want to hear this, but let her go.  There are people out there that won't drive you crazy while trying to maintain a relationship.  Be sure you aren't running after her just because you are scared.  Be sure you are pursuing her out of devoted love, that will be reciporcated.  Stop and ask yourself why you are feeling this panic and need.  Before making any life decisions, you need to be 100% sure you can live with them.</blockquote>

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