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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Spell" data-source="post: 1723370" data-attributes="member: 19718">one more reason to stop yourself, take some deep breath, spit out the bad thoughts, and start to live again.i think that the advice of seeing a specialist is too extreme, IF you decide to leave some of your stress behind, and see help from your friends.talk with them. endlessly. listen (don't just hear) to what they say. talk with your parents, if at all possible. we couldn't care, the specialist could be interested only in your money, but those people know you better than any of us. they love you, and they have for quite a long time (maybe all your life). listen to their advice, because they speak with your best interest in mind (not that we don't... but they should be much more convincing). try to think about the situation, as Eric says, externally.as for me, the only things i can say are:she's not a queen. you think she is.she's not perfect. you think she is.you don't love her. you think you love her. in fact, you love the echos of your old girlfriend, or maybe those parts that makes you assume that she is an X type of person.chaces are, she is not. she's just a normal human being, maybe a special one, i concede that. but she cannot be your perfect match. if she were, you wouldn't feel sorry, but happy. you would feel happy even if you were poor, without a job, with no house, no friends, in a desert island far away from home.you already have many things that could make your life better than it is. you don't see them, right now. relax. sit down and imagine that you don't have a problem in the world. when a problem comes up in your mind, sent it away. imagine that it's like a piece of garbage in a river. you saw it coming, now you see it close, and now it's gone away, following the river.again, as a semi-professional singer, i cannot stress the importance of breathing in relaxing yourself. just think about taking deep breaths, and maybe you'll see that all of those problems cannot really touch you, if you don't want them to.one of the things i did, when my fiancée left me, was finding something that kept my mind occupied. i didn't want to think about anything, because she always poped out. i must have watched 100 mystery and horror movies in a month, but in the end i did get better.you could try to find something that works for you, too. and, please, don't choose your job for this: she works there, too, so it simply couldn't work! try something completely unrelated to her. maybe something you like and she hates.if you try to help yourself, if you go to your friends and family and you listen to them, if you try to see things in a different prospective, and you still feel this way, then you should really talk to her.just state your case, your problems, your feeling, plainly and clearly. see what happens. i don't know if you will be please by the resulting discussion, but at least you will stop hurting yourself.leave the good and the bad times behind. living in the past (especially when it make you feel miserable like this) keep good things from happening. maybe it will take you years to find your true love, and maybe she's just mintues away. how can you spot her, when you are so stressed and depressed?you already know what to do. re-read your post: you know you should back off. it's just that you're scared about it. don't. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

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