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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Marius Delphus" data-source="post: 1290763" data-attributes="member: 447">First of all, congrats and best wishes to the original poster. A new player in the ranks is always welcome!Interesting; the women gamers I've met tended to want to play spellcasters as their first characters. (shrug)But it *is* complex. D&D is complex! There's a lot of information with which to deal. There are a lot of factors that interact in non-intuitive or counter-intuitive ways. That many of us found learning D&D easy (and find adapting to new versions of D&D easy) doesn't change how complex it is.Creating your first character *can* be kind of daunting. It's very fulfilling (and can be especially so when you're joining someone you care for doing something that person enjoys a lot), but it can still be kind of a challenge. What class do I pick? What do all these numbers mean? Why can I do X but not Y? Why do I have to roll a die to do X but not Z? You can't replicate the experience of joining in the fun for the first time, but there are also a lot of potential obstacles and pitfalls.Speaking solely from my own experience, off the cuff, and without any training in psychology etc., IMHO, YMMV, IANAL... (enough disclaimers?):"Thinking like a gamer." There's a lot of mental overhead to playing an RPG that doesn't come naturally to everyone, though (as noted) that's not because it's terribly difficult. But for some to whom the concept is new, "thinking like a gamer" takes training. For some it doesn't. A lot of us who started playing D&D early in life grew up "thinking like gamers" (but pre-adolescents have a special facility with "let's pretend" anyway, don't they?), but there's a much greater number of people out there who never played D&D, who certainly didn't grow up with it, and who have never been introduced to "thinking like a gamer." Monopoly, sure; D&D, no. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />N.B.: I'm speaking from a purely pragmatic (even P.C.!) standpoint: there's nothing sacred or wondrous about "thinking like a gamer" just as there's nothing pitiable or worrisome about not doing so, even though a particular person's facility with such thinking would tend to offer advantages with learning an RPG. (Personally, I know quite a few highly intelligent people, male and female, who I imagine would need an extended introduction and some training before "getting it." But I could be wrong.)"Barriers to entry." It gets even worse when you consider we and our buddies, especially those of us that have been at it for a while, take a lot of things for granted, use a lot of jargon, and always make time for old "war stories" (even the ones we've already told twenty times). It can be kind of intimidating for a new player thrown in at the deep end, who wants to be part of the group/part of the action but who needs access to a lot of knowledge that hasn't been explicitly imparted. As if that weren't enough, the feeling that "I'm doing something wrong" persists for a long time (over ten years, in one case with which I'm familiar). Thus the usual admonition to "go easy" on new players and show enthusiasm and approval when they *do* do something "right.""Preconceived notions." That "gamer mentality" is disproportionately present in guys is probably a bit of a (pernicious) myth. But it's a persistent myth. And actual, active gamers seem to be, at last count, disproportionately male. (This has been said to create something of an "old boys' club" atmosphere that is more than a little off-putting to women who'd otherwise be happy to join in.) So yes, some of us are genuinely surprised (pleasantly of course!) when the girlfriend/wife/sister/whoever "gets it." It's likely not fair to her, as mentioned, but that's what you get with myths and preconceived notions. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />"That silly game." Prospective new players come complete with learning and experiences of their own, and sometimes they already know something about D&D. "Only geeks play D&D." "D&D is dangerous." "D&D is why my boyfriend can only afford fast food when we go out." It's another potential hurdle to overcome because all these messages and memories build a natural resistance to just going ahead and trying a game or two with friends/S.O.s/whomever. Especially so as we get old, bitter, and hidebound. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />So that's why it's still great for me to hear about a new player joining a game, and why I even take a little un-P.C. glee in finding out it's someone's wife etc. Not because I think it's the rare wife etc. who is *capable* of getting it, but because I think it's the rare wife etc. who, after taking everything into consideration, is *willing* to give it a try. Plus, I know how it felt when my own wife took the plunge. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> So congrats Sunglar, and enjoy! <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /></blockquote>

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