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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Spider_Jerusalem" data-source="post: 1757049" data-attributes="member: 5507">Hi Puppy Kicker,First of all, great name. Though I'm guessing it might lose you a few readers from the get go.Secondly, I'm working my way through this - and what I've read so far (three of the character intros) is pretty good. Though please please please chop up the paragraphs a little. I think this is just an intro thing, as skimming the rest of the story it seems to iron itself out. I've never heard of Mythosa, and I haven't checked the weblink, but I like it thus far. Storm-outlet-robot thing sounds as cool as it should be.Anyway. Post more, I'll catch up, everything will be right in the world.Spider.</blockquote>