NOW LIVE! Today's the day you meet your new best friend. You don’t have to leave Wolfy behind... In 'Pets & Sidekicks' your companions level up with you!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rel" data-source="post: 1717841" data-attributes="member: 99">For those participating in my Orcz game, here's the prelude.  Anybody else can feel free to skip it obviously, though you may enjoy reading it as well.Orcz PreludeYour merry and murderous little band is returning home in high spirits after having dealt with an encroaching warband of the Arm Scar Orc tribe.  Things went well (well, not for the Arm Scars) and your group sports some new trophies that should elevate their status within the Black Sack tribe.Honka:  “Do you think they will come up with another name for their tribe?”Gronka:  “You mean because we cut off their arms?”Honka:  “Yep.”Gronka:  “Maybe they’ll just shorten it to ‘Scar’ tribe.”Mugnutz:  “Technically, their arms do have scars where they terminate just below the shoulder.  Regardless I think it will be some time before they try and trespass upon our territory again.”Freg:  “You use a lot of big words, Mugnutz.  What does ‘terminate’ mean?”Mugnutz:  “It means ‘to end’ or ‘to kill’.Gouge:  *giggling*  “I like that.  ‘Terminate’.  I ‘terminate’ stuff’.  I’m a ‘terminator’!” *more maniacal giggling*Gronka:  “Your laughing hurts my ears, Gouge.  Go scout ahead and stop making me want to kill you.”Gouge:  “I’ll be back.”Honka:  “So, Mugnutz, what are you going to do with all those arms anyway.”Mugnutz:  “Oh, Thag and I have some plans for them.  Don’t we Thag?”Thag:  *merrily jiggles the bag full of arms he’s carrying*  “We do magic!  We magic doers!!”Mugnutz:  *sighing* “Yes Thag, we’re Wizards.”Thag:  “Fromage de tete!!”Mugnutz:  “Save your magic for later, Thag...What?...Wait…”*the rest of the group stops and regards Mugnutz with curiosity.  A look of grave concern crosses the Wizard’s face*Mugnutz:  “We’ve got to hurry home!  I’ve just gotten word from Stench that something terrible has happened!”You stand within the caves that are home to the Black Sack tribe, where things are far too quiet.  Dead bodies of the tribe’s young warriors are strewn about the floor.  A knot of them surround the fallen form of Zonka Thonka, your brother and Chieftain.  Mugnutz is doing his best to make sure that he is understanding what his skunk familiar, Stench is trying desperately to convey…Mugnutz:  “Ok, let’s go over this one more time:  You were hiding in the kitchen, looking for some food scraps and playing with the children when you first heard the noise.  You hid at the first sign of battle, just like I’ve told you to do, and when it was all over you heard what?”Stench:  “Well, Boss, it was just like I told you the first time…”Findul Faststabber:  “Aw, hells.  GUYS!  GET IN HERE!  THE WIZARD WENT AND GOT HIMSELF KILLED!!  Idiot.”(Sir) Peledor of Justkeep:  *bursts into the kitchen*  “Oh, alas, here has fallen Gangulf the Great!  Pelor guide his soul to Celestia!”  *Peledor kneels in reverence*Findul:  “’The Great’?!  What a pile of dung that was.”Peledor:  “Findul, we mustn’t speak ill of the honored dead.  Gangulf was our companion and a great Wizard.”Findul:  “He was a crap Wizard.  He was seventy-one years old!  And still only knew how to cast spells of the second order!  Hell, the Elf barely knew any magic when we all started to adventure together and now she can do better magic than this so-called Wizard could!”Ealealae Treehugger:  *also bursting into the kitchen, but in a way that is in harmony with nature*  “Our brother has fallen.  We must leave his body out in the open,  where the animals may feast upon it and complete the circle of life!”Findul:  “Oh here we go with the ‘circle of life’ stuff again!  Be honest, Elf, you’re just too damn lazy and weak to take the effort to dig a hole.”Ealealae:  “That’ll be a LOT easier when I can Wildshape into a Dire Badger.  Until then, they get left out to feed the crows!”Peledor:  “We should neither bury him nor leave him in the open to have his bones scattered by the wolves.  We should burn him upon a pyre as befits any true warrior in the service of Pelor!”Findul:  “’Warrior of Pelor’?!  He was stabbed to death by those orcish children using wooden spoons!” *he gestures toward the cluster of females and children huddled in the corner of the kitchen*Peledor:  “I see.  Well, we have certainly learned a valuable lesson about haring off into unknown parts of the dungeon by ourselves, haven’t we?”  *the Paladin looks meaningfully at the Halfling*Findul:  “What we learned is that you shouldn’t adventure when you’re old!  Not if Con is your dump stat in the first place.”Peledor:  “What is this ‘Con’ you speak of?  Are you attempting some sort of deception again?!  I almost had to Atone after that stunt you pulled in Misty Vale with the ‘holy iced tea of Pelor’ you were selling!”Findul:  “Are you calling me Evil?!” *trying to get in the Paladin’s face and, lacking a footstool, succeeding in getting in his codpiece*  “Detect me!  See if I’m Evil!  Go ahead, Bitch!”Peledor:  “’Bitch?’  I’ll smite you, you little…PECK!”Findul:  “Oh, here come the racial slurs!  Now who’s Evil?!  Detect yourself, ‘Mr. Paragon of Justice and Righteousness!’”Ealealae:  “Boys!”Peledor:  “I live for the day that your brand of Chaotic Neutral is recognized by my church for the threat to sanity that it is!”Ealealae:  “Boys!!”Findul:  “Yeah, well I’m a threat, and look who’s flat footed!”Ealealae:  “BOYS!!!”*both men pause and regard the Druid*Ealealae:  “Before you kill each other, we need to decide what to do with these orcish women and children.”Findul:  *drawing a dagger* “Phew, some anger management therapy just when I needed it the most!”Peledor:  “What?!  Stay your hand, Pe…uh, Findul!  We shall not murder these defenseless women and children!”Findul:  “Defenseless?  They stabbed our ‘Mighty Wizard’ to death with spoons!  Do they look defenseless to you?”*a brief clatter fills the room as wooden spoons are dropped by several orcish children*Peledor:  “They are innocents, victims of the brutish culture of their upbringing.  I’m sure that they only meant to fend off Gangulf until we could arrive to rein him in.  They had no way of knowing that a stiff breeze could have killed him.”Findul:  “Ok then, Mr. Paladin Pants, what is it you propose to do with them then?  They’ll be easy prey for the foul denizens of these mountains and if they do survive then they’ll be preying on the Elves of the Greenglades again in no time.”Peledor:  “No time?”Findul:  “Yeah, no time.  The average breeding age of an orc is eight years old!  Try picking up a book written by somebody besides Pelor sometime, Captain Charisma.”Peledor:  “Eight?  But…eight?”Findul:  “Look, I understand that you don’t want to get your armor dirty and so forth.  So why don’t you and the Elf just go...’check for secret doors’ and I’ll be done here in just a minute.”Peledor:  “NO!  We are NOT going to kill the orc women and children!  And that’s final!”Findul:  “Well then WHAT do you propose?!”Peledor:  “We’ll bring them with us and have them reeducated by the Priests of Pelor.  They will be shown the Way of the Light!”Findul:  “You’re going to have the orcs be taught the error of their ways by priests…”Peledor:  “Yes!”Findul:  “…of the Sun God?”Peledor:  “Abso-Pelor-lutely!”Findul:  *regarding Ealealae*  “And you’re ok with this?”Ealealae:  “Well, I hate orcs, but I love the sun, so it all balances out.  Us Druids are into that sort of thing.”Findul:  *sheathing his dagger and quickly removing the magical boots from the fallen Gangulf*  “What the hell.  This I’ve got to see…”Mugnutz:  “And that’s when they rounded up the women and children and marched them out of here?”Stench:  “Yup.”Mugnutz:  “And where did they take them?”Stench:  “Down the mountains and east, into the forest.”Mugnutz:  “The Elven Forest?  Where we go to hunt the Faeries?”Stench:  “Dat’s da one!”Mugnutz:  “You’ve been very helpful, Stench.”Stench:  “Fuggedaboudit.”Mugnutz:  *turning back to the rest of the party*  “It looks like we’re heading into the Elven Forest if we want our women and whelps back.”Thag:  “Mon crayon est large et jeune!!”Mugnutz:  “Save your magic for the elves, Thag!”</blockquote>

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