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Message: <blockquote data-quote="nai_cha" data-source="post: 5341916" data-attributes="member: 92791">That was not the point I was addressing when I pointed out what female gamers discuss on communities & forums. I was giving a possible answer to these points: Basically, that how big a percentage we are of the gaming population has nothing to do with it- even in places where it is mostly or all female gamers, from what I've seen we're still not making threads about that topic.On one hand, anything that addresses problematic behaviour and opens a dialogue about it is cool. On the other hand, it is kind of sad that it has to be said over and over again that (1) ask us for our input, without diminishing it or devaluing it (2) treat us with respect (3) just like you would with any other gamer regardless of gender is the way to go when gaming with girls/women. Some boys/men have gotten it, others haven't. Again, I'm lucky to have had nothing but pleasant experiences when gaming with men, and it's great to hear that there are other women who haven't encountered any sexist behaviour during gaming as well. But there are women who have, and just because we haven't seen it personally doesn't mean it doesn't exist. (So yeah, with regards to what I said above, I could very well be wrong about other female gamers not making those threads.)I'm sorry that happened to you. It really stings to be accused of being x-ist or y-phobic, especially when one considers oneself progressive or an ally of that marginalised group. But regarding that last statement: it's disheartening to read that you think women who point out sexism or sexist behaviour are doing it merely to be insulting or have the last word, and not that they have a valid point. I don't know you, and I don't know what went down between you and your player, and I certainly don't mean to accuse you of being sexist or give the impression that I'm siding with your player. If your player was really out of line and falsely accusing you of sexism, that sucks and again, sorry to hear that happened to you. But to take that one incident then generalise that women wield "sexist" as insult instead of having a legitimate concern...well, that's a mindset that I hope isn't prevalent, because it makes it that much harder for us to deal with sexist attitudes. Just saying, in general (definitely not specifically directed @<a href="http://www.enworld.org/forum/member.php?u=18701" target="_blank">Oryan77</a> or the situation with his player) it's possible to engage in x-ist or y-phobic behaviour without being aware of it, and if called out on it, educate yourself about why it's problematic. Especially if you're viewing the matter from a position of privilege, because what you may think is a-ok really isn't for that group. That's happened to me before- I don't want to think that I'm transphobic, homophobic, or classist- but I did engage in behaviour that I thought was okay, and gave other problematic behaviour I saw a pass because I didn't see what was wrong. I'm cis-bodied, straight, and not poor, which was why it wasn't obvious to me, but when told it wasn't cool, I educated myself on why. Still have a long way to go.Onto slightly lighter topics,Actually, I'm curious about this too, if the dominant genre has anything to do with it. For me, personally, it doesn't, but it's interesting to hear other people's experiences.</blockquote>

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