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Need feedback on this storyline(my players STAY OUT!)
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<blockquote data-quote="blackshirt5" data-source="post: 974810" data-attributes="member: 7871"><p>OK, I've finally decided on some stuff for my D20 Supers game(which I'm gonna use Mutants & Masterminds to run), and I wanted to run the storyline past the collective minds of ENWorld to see what they thought.</p><p></p><p>In the 1970s, four superheroes who had served together in Vietnam(The Human Titan, Cyber-Patriot, Erin the White Tiger, and Crimson Commando) formed a Superhero outfit known as Justice Force, who's purpose was to protect the world(and that oh so favorite target, New York City) from the danger of renegade and enemy Talents(people with superpowers). After 30 years, Justice Force is a major power in NYC, but they've discovered a pair of problems with the organization:</p><p>1) Justice Tower, their homebase, is too tempting of a target; with that many superheroes in one place, it's just a big bullseye for supervillains.</p><p></p><p>2) Over the years, Justice Force has added a lot of members; the taxes and fees are murder for a group that size; in addition, there are definitely some members that the old guard(who pretty much hold all the power) doesn't want associated with the Justice Force name, but at the same time doesn't want to just let them run around unsupervised and untrackable.</p><p></p><p>So, Justice Force splits apart. While the "A-list" mostly stays under the name Justice Force(with a few notable exceptions, such as Blue Angel, Arthur Axel, and Lancelot v.2), the rest of Justice Force is split up into smaller groups(such as Cyber Squad, a group consisting of just cyber-enhanced superheroes). One group, however, stands apart from the rest. Known as DarkSquad, it is where the best of the best of the bottom of the barrel get put. Rebellious Talents, Berserkers, and Ex-Villains all get grouped in here. This is where the PCs all end up.</p><p></p><p>What they don't know, however, is what is really going on with the Justice Force. For the past 10 years, a supervillain known as Tinker, a master of genetic manipulation, has insinuated himself into the Justice Force, acting in an advisory position as a techie and a scientist. He has been using his genetic manipulation on the highest members of the Justice Force(including the founding four), and all the members who stayed under the Justice Force name are addicted to genetic manipulation and basically enslaved to Tinker. For his part, the Tinker enjoys his new role on top; people like DarkSquad get worn down in a war of attrition against his armies of genetically modified creatures, until eventually only his slaves, the Justice Force, are left standing, and then he can rule the world!(plus, being able to force erin the White Tiger to prance and dance around in the nude for his enjoyment ain't bad either.)</p><p></p><p>So basically, my storyline is gonna involve them fighting Tinker's superpowered henchmen, finding out eventually that Justice Force is now controlled by Tinker, and eventually a showdown at Justice Tower between DarkSquad and Tinker's "new and improved" Justice Force.</p><p></p><p>So, wadaya think? "Comic book" enough, or not enough? Good storyline, or bad? I'm probably gonna have Tinker escape at the end, but whether or not the members of Justice Force are gonna be redeemable or not is probably gonna be left to the players(I can see a lot of the old guard retiring or dying before this story arc is over).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackshirt5, post: 974810, member: 7871"] OK, I've finally decided on some stuff for my D20 Supers game(which I'm gonna use Mutants & Masterminds to run), and I wanted to run the storyline past the collective minds of ENWorld to see what they thought. In the 1970s, four superheroes who had served together in Vietnam(The Human Titan, Cyber-Patriot, Erin the White Tiger, and Crimson Commando) formed a Superhero outfit known as Justice Force, who's purpose was to protect the world(and that oh so favorite target, New York City) from the danger of renegade and enemy Talents(people with superpowers). After 30 years, Justice Force is a major power in NYC, but they've discovered a pair of problems with the organization: 1) Justice Tower, their homebase, is too tempting of a target; with that many superheroes in one place, it's just a big bullseye for supervillains. 2) Over the years, Justice Force has added a lot of members; the taxes and fees are murder for a group that size; in addition, there are definitely some members that the old guard(who pretty much hold all the power) doesn't want associated with the Justice Force name, but at the same time doesn't want to just let them run around unsupervised and untrackable. So, Justice Force splits apart. While the "A-list" mostly stays under the name Justice Force(with a few notable exceptions, such as Blue Angel, Arthur Axel, and Lancelot v.2), the rest of Justice Force is split up into smaller groups(such as Cyber Squad, a group consisting of just cyber-enhanced superheroes). One group, however, stands apart from the rest. Known as DarkSquad, it is where the best of the best of the bottom of the barrel get put. Rebellious Talents, Berserkers, and Ex-Villains all get grouped in here. This is where the PCs all end up. What they don't know, however, is what is really going on with the Justice Force. For the past 10 years, a supervillain known as Tinker, a master of genetic manipulation, has insinuated himself into the Justice Force, acting in an advisory position as a techie and a scientist. He has been using his genetic manipulation on the highest members of the Justice Force(including the founding four), and all the members who stayed under the Justice Force name are addicted to genetic manipulation and basically enslaved to Tinker. For his part, the Tinker enjoys his new role on top; people like DarkSquad get worn down in a war of attrition against his armies of genetically modified creatures, until eventually only his slaves, the Justice Force, are left standing, and then he can rule the world!(plus, being able to force erin the White Tiger to prance and dance around in the nude for his enjoyment ain't bad either.) So basically, my storyline is gonna involve them fighting Tinker's superpowered henchmen, finding out eventually that Justice Force is now controlled by Tinker, and eventually a showdown at Justice Tower between DarkSquad and Tinker's "new and improved" Justice Force. So, wadaya think? "Comic book" enough, or not enough? Good storyline, or bad? I'm probably gonna have Tinker escape at the end, but whether or not the members of Justice Force are gonna be redeemable or not is probably gonna be left to the players(I can see a lot of the old guard retiring or dying before this story arc is over). [/QUOTE]
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