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<blockquote data-quote="CastTiltowait" data-source="post: 4376696" data-attributes="member: 47642">My apologies for any offense at my insults, I'd never say sexist/racist (fantasy racism)/etc myself, but it's a frickin' EVIL impTo a dragonborn- &quot;What's that smell?&nbsp; I thought your breathweapon was supposed to come out your mouth!&quot;or...&quot;Hey, look at that, that money I spent paying the hooker to &gt;bleep&lt; the iguana 20 years ago is providing entertainment value yet again!&quot;or...&quot;oooOOoo, it's so cute, a gecko with attitude&quot;or...&quot;Hunh, I guess a lizard's tail doesN'T grow back when a dog pulls it off&quot;or... (if your gamers are allergic to pokemon like me)&quot;Dragonborn, I choose YOU!&quot;To a dwarf- &quot;Hey, who put the fake beard on the gnome?&quot;/...on the midget elf?&quot;/... who put the phoney beard and nose on the kobold?&quot;or...If the dwarf's a male- &quot;I thought the females were supposed to shave their beards... ah, who cares, come over honey, I want to see if you're as good a kisser as your mom!&quot;If the dwarf's a female- &quot;Hey, look, it's a chubby halfling!&nbsp; Oh, I'm sorry, that's right, you're just 'Big Boned'&quot;or...&quot;I still don't get why that orc likes dwarven hookers- yeah, you can shave the beard off of them, but getting rid of that smell would be more work than it's worth&quot;To a Eladrin- &quot;Can you really teleport, or is it just you're so insignificant, that even the universe doesn't care where you go?&quot;or... (the rest work fine for both Eladrin or elf)&quot;I know you, Grok the orc says you're a real bargain at 3 gold a night!&nbsp; If I give you a platinum, can I get you to include your dwarven friend over there?&quot;or...&quot;How much did your race have to pay the humans to make half-elves?&quot;or...&quot;Great, an eladrin/elf wizard!&nbsp; Quick, make yourself useful, I need a reading light&quot;or...&quot;I heard that eladrin were created when a Balor got drunk and slept with a dryad.&nbsp; Must have been a lie, even a Balor wouldn't make something as ugly as you.&quot;or...&quot;Shut up, little girl/boy, the grown ups want to talk&quot; and then address statements to the dwarf or human in the party.To a half elf- &quot;so, who was more drunk, your mom or your dad?&nbsp; Oops, sorry, you probably never met them&quot;or...&quot;Hey, look, these adventurers have a mascot&quot; (this also works for dwarves or halflings)or...&quot;Look, it's a wannabe eladrin&quot;To a halfling- &quot;I'm sorry, you have to be at least THIS tall in order for me to give a &gt;bleep&lt; what you say&quot;or...(if there are any vaguely similar classed non-halfling PC's in the party) &quot;Look, the human/whatever has a mini-me!&quot;or...&quot;What, you guys couldn't convince a dwarf to join your party so you thought you'd bring this?&quot;or...&quot;I remember your mom.&nbsp; After I was done with her, she was a quarterling&quot;or...&quot;What, is it 'Bring Your Daughter Adventuring Day' today?&quot; (addressed to one of the human/elves in the party)or... (this can work for just about any adventurer, but halflings are likely to be more vulnerable to it)After a long laughing fit &quot;...hoo, hah... Thanks for showing up, I haven't had a good laugh like that in a long time, you halflings are always good for a laugh.&nbsp; Quick, you walk in again, pretending that I'm supposed to take you seriously, it was priceless!&quot;To a human- (if the party is mostly non-human) &quot;Hey look, they brought someone to carry stuff for them.&nbsp; Can I borrow the human for a moment, I've got something stuck on my &gt;bleep&lt; and I'm too lazy to pick it out myself&quot;or...&quot;How long have I been stuck in here?&nbsp; When'd the chimps learn to wear armor?&quot;or... (to a human spell caster)&quot;Look, an eladrin/tiefling dressed up their pet like a wizard/warlock, how cute&quot;To a tiefling- &quot;come here and give Daddy a kiss!&quot;or... (while pointing at the tiefling)&quot;Ugh, THAT's why I never do human&quot;or...&quot;So, how's it feel to be a race of Losers?&nbsp; To humans!?!&quot; (starts to laugh) &quot;You'd think with Infernal blood, you'd have no trouble keeping balding chimps with pointed sticks at bay, but what do you expect when a quasit loses a bet and has to do a goat&quot;or... (to a tiefling spell caster)&quot;Ahh, you remind me of my childhood.&nbsp; Go ahead, show me one of your little tricks!&quot;To a fighter/paladin- (addressed to any spellcasters) &quot;Is he supposed to be off his leash?&quot;or...&quot;Careful, Lunkhead, or you'll cut yourself again by grabbing that thing by the wrong end&quot;That's the first things that occur to me off the top of my head...</blockquote>

[QUOTE="CastTiltowait, post: 4376696, member: 47642"] My apologies for any offense at my insults, I'd never say sexist/racist (fantasy racism)/etc myself, but it's a frickin' EVIL imp To a dragonborn- "What's that smell? I thought your breathweapon was supposed to come out your mouth!" or... "Hey, look at that, that money I spent paying the hooker to >bleep< the iguana 20 years ago is providing entertainment value yet again!" or... "oooOOoo, it's so cute, a gecko with attitude" or... "Hunh, I guess a lizard's tail doesN'T grow back when a dog pulls it off" or... (if your gamers are allergic to pokemon like me) "Dragonborn, I choose YOU!" To a dwarf- "Hey, who put the fake beard on the gnome?"/...on the midget elf?"/... who put the phoney beard and nose on the kobold?" or... If the dwarf's a male- "I thought the females were supposed to shave their beards... ah, who cares, come over honey, I want to see if you're as good a kisser as your mom!" If the dwarf's a female- "Hey, look, it's a chubby halfling! Oh, I'm sorry, that's right, you're just 'Big Boned'" or... "I still don't get why that orc likes dwarven hookers- yeah, you can shave the beard off of them, but getting rid of that smell would be more work than it's worth" To a Eladrin- "Can you really teleport, or is it just you're so insignificant, that even the universe doesn't care where you go?" or... (the rest work fine for both Eladrin or elf) "I know you, Grok the orc says you're a real bargain at 3 gold a night! If I give you a platinum, can I get you to include your dwarven friend over there?" or... "How much did your race have to pay the humans to make half-elves?" or... "Great, an eladrin/elf wizard! Quick, make yourself useful, I need a reading light" or... "I heard that eladrin were created when a Balor got drunk and slept with a dryad. Must have been a lie, even a Balor wouldn't make something as ugly as you." or... "Shut up, little girl/boy, the grown ups want to talk" and then address statements to the dwarf or human in the party. To a half elf- "so, who was more drunk, your mom or your dad? Oops, sorry, you probably never met them" or... "Hey, look, these adventurers have a mascot" (this also works for dwarves or halflings) or... "Look, it's a wannabe eladrin" To a halfling- "I'm sorry, you have to be at least THIS tall in order for me to give a >bleep< what you say" or... (if there are any vaguely similar classed non-halfling PC's in the party) "Look, the human/whatever has a mini-me!" or... "What, you guys couldn't convince a dwarf to join your party so you thought you'd bring this?" or... "I remember your mom. After I was done with her, she was a quarterling" or... "What, is it 'Bring Your Daughter Adventuring Day' today?" (addressed to one of the human/elves in the party) or... (this can work for just about any adventurer, but halflings are likely to be more vulnerable to it) After a long laughing fit "...hoo, hah... Thanks for showing up, I haven't had a good laugh like that in a long time, you halflings are always good for a laugh. Quick, you walk in again, pretending that I'm supposed to take you seriously, it was priceless!" To a human- (if the party is mostly non-human) "Hey look, they brought someone to carry stuff for them. Can I borrow the human for a moment, I've got something stuck on my >bleep< and I'm too lazy to pick it out myself" or... "How long have I been stuck in here? When'd the chimps learn to wear armor?" or... (to a human spell caster) "Look, an eladrin/tiefling dressed up their pet like a wizard/warlock, how cute" To a tiefling- "come here and give Daddy a kiss!" or... (while pointing at the tiefling) "Ugh, THAT's why I never do human" or... "So, how's it feel to be a race of Losers? To humans!?!" (starts to laugh) "You'd think with Infernal blood, you'd have no trouble keeping balding chimps with pointed sticks at bay, but what do you expect when a quasit loses a bet and has to do a goat" or... (to a tiefling spell caster) "Ahh, you remind me of my childhood. Go ahead, show me one of your little tricks!" To a fighter/paladin- (addressed to any spellcasters) "Is he supposed to be off his leash?" or... "Careful, Lunkhead, or you'll cut yourself again by grabbing that thing by the wrong end" That's the first things that occur to me off the top of my head... [/QUOTE]

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