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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Thunderfoot" data-source="post: 5493306" data-attributes="member: 34175">And I will go with all of the above, with a caveat.  I think its awesome that you want to help, but a Wik stated, remember that you cannot help everyone, especially those that do not want help.  Not saying he doesn't, but let me show you where I'm coming from and maybe you'll get it.I was a step child, my brother who was 8 years older than I was a star athlete, hunter, manly man.  He was my step-father's only natural born child and that was fine with him.  I was an after thought in most cases, and we certainly never agreed on much.  So I got the useless speech, a lot.However, I was also enough of a rough neck that all that did was spur me to prove him, and everyone else wrong.  I pushed myself at first to fit in and be like my older brother and eventually came to grips that I was me and screw everyone else.  It was a hard won fight that took 13 years to win.  That was back in 1986.Since then I struggle with the "not good enough" all the time, and was recently diagnosed with clinical depression.  I had fought so hard for so long, I had ignored signs that could have gotten me help.  Oh well, that's me.The point of this rather long winded history is that I had to come to the decision to fight back. I had to come to grips with the verbal/emotional attacks versus the obvious truths they were being stated against. I had to eventually realize there was something else wrong and had to get help.You can do amazing things to help boost his self esteem.  You can become his friend, take him places so that you can offer positive reinforcement, get him involved in esteem building activities and none of it is going to help until he comes to the realization that there is something there to work with.What he needs is professional mental care, and you can not suggest it as he will most likely ignore you.  If you could figure a way for a councilor to intervene that would be great, but he may feel like he was betrayed or attacked.  Mental illnesses, whether severe or slight, triggered by nature or nurture and long-term or short-term are still illnesses.  If you aren't a doctor, don't try to treat them, you may end up doing more harm than good.Positive speech, an open ear, a friendly smile and encouraging words are great.  Keeping your eyes open for erratic or dangerous behavior is a MUST.  Do not hesitate to call authorities if you see something going south.  To paraphrase on old instruction set about entering a house: "No matter how many signs you put up, sidewalks you guide him to or even if you hold his hand to get him there, he has to ultimately open the door to the house and walk through."  I really hate to be this way but you need to be encouraging but be prepared for all your efforts to ultimately fail.  If they don't, great,but you have to understand that though treatable in almost 90% of all cases the hardest part is getting people in the door to get help.  Only about 15% of all people that need it, get it.  How's that for sobering.</blockquote>

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