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<blockquote data-quote="Saba Taru" data-source="post: 878968" data-attributes="member: 2902">That Fable Feel...If by &quot;fable feel&quot; you mean &quot;interesting history lesson,&quot; I think you've captured that.&nbsp; It echoes several &quot;real world&quot; myths and legends, which is good, while adding to it that little something that makes it unique.&nbsp; I like what you have so far.&nbsp; <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />I do have several &quot;quibbles&quot; with it, but please keep in mind that this is from a personal standpoint, so everything in this post is an IMO type of thing.&nbsp; No offense is meant or implied. The names of the dragons annoyed me somewhat.&nbsp; They sounded too much like Bahamut and Tiamet for my taste, but I can't figure out if that was done to give it a sense of the familiar or for some other reason.The other thing that was slightly &quot;off-putting&quot; was the choice of sentence structure.&nbsp; The word order, for lack of a better description, is a bit goofy (see the second sentence for an example) and makes it hard to read.&nbsp; There's also the issue of missing words that I think would make a majority of the sentences flow a bit better than they do.&nbsp; Stylistically speaking, starting a sentence with a conjunction, while technically &quot;incorrect,&quot; is fine on occasion (the same with passive voice and split infinitives), but there are whole blocks of text that start with conjunctions (mainly the word &quot;but&quot;), and that makes it hard to read through as well.Like I said before, I like what you have so far.&nbsp; The &quot;quibbles&quot; are just the nitpicky English major side of me surfacing.&nbsp; I'd love to read more of it when you have time to post it.&nbsp; <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

[QUOTE="Saba Taru, post: 878968, member: 2902"] [b]That Fable Feel...[/b] If by "fable feel" you mean "interesting history lesson," I think you've captured that. It echoes several "real world" myths and legends, which is good, while adding to it that little something that makes it unique. I like what you have so far. :) I do have several "quibbles" with it, but please keep in mind that this is from a personal standpoint, so everything in this post is an IMO type of thing. No offense is meant or implied. The names of the dragons annoyed me somewhat. They sounded too much like Bahamut and Tiamet for my taste, but I can't figure out if that was done to give it a sense of the familiar or for some other reason. The other thing that was slightly "off-putting" was the choice of sentence structure. The word order, for lack of a better description, is a bit goofy (see the second sentence for an example) and makes it hard to read. There's also the issue of missing words that I think would make a majority of the sentences flow a bit better than they do. Stylistically speaking, starting a sentence with a conjunction, while technically "incorrect," is fine on occasion (the same with passive voice and split infinitives), but there are whole blocks of text that start with conjunctions (mainly the word "but"), and that makes it hard to read through as well. Like I said before, I like what you have so far. The "quibbles" are just the nitpicky English major side of me surfacing. I'd love to read more of it when you have time to post it. :) [/QUOTE]

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