Kai Lord
Hero
These were posted on the official Wizards ELH board and it made me crack a smile so I'm pasting it here. Post is by someone called Spinjammer:
I think characters with low ability scores have a hard time picking epic feats. So here are a few for our ability challenged heroes.
Legendary Leper [Epic]
Your are reknowned for spreading disease and having horrific appearance.
Prerequisites: Cha 9-; Con 9-;
Benefits:
You are surrounded by an aura of disease and uglyness. Everybody looking at you must make a will saving throw against a DC of (10 + your level - cha mod).
On a failed save the victim cannot look directly at you and suffers penalties as if being blind. Any being coming closer than level * 10 feet to you must make a fortitude save (DC 10 + your level - con mod) or having their con and cha reduced to 9 or -2 if already lower.
From time to time, you lose fingers, skin or limbs. You are very adept at sticking them back to your body, you can do it as a move action.
Epic Weakling [Epic]
Your strength is legendary - you have trouble keeping yourself upright.
Prerequisites: Str 9-;
Benefits:
Whenever somebody hits you, you have a chance of falling down. Make a str check (DC damage dealt). On a successful check you stagger around without falling, needing a move equivalent action to regain your balance. On a failed save you are knocked back (damage)*feet and you fall prone. To stand up, you need a full-round action.
Supreme Retard [Epic]
Your stupidity knows no bounds.
Prerequisites: Int 9-; Wis 9-;
Benefits:
Whenever you have to make a decision, make an Int Check (DC Character Level). On a failed check you will decide in favor of the most stupid thing you can come up with. When confronted with questions that require any fraction of abstract concepts, you will fail miserably and just stand around grinning obnoxiously. The grin enrages the being that asked the question if it fails a will save against DC 20 - (your Int Mod + Wis Mod). The question must not have been directed at you, you just have to hear it.
Unstoppable Clumsiness [Epic]
You cause havoc by trying to do anything and being near other people.
Prerequisites: Dex 9-;
Benefits:
Whenever you move and there are people or objects near you (1 foot per level) make a dex check (DC Character Level). On a failed check you bump into them and fall prone. The beings in your proximity have to make a dex check (DC your character level). If they fail, they too bump into other people, who have to make checks as well. This continues until there are no more people in reach or all make their checks. Inanimate Objects likewise fall down, with no save allowed. They take (Character Level) damage. When handling or picking up objects, you must make a dex check (DC your character level). On a failed check you drop the object in the worst possible way, it takes damage equal to (twice your character level) + str modifier. If you have the sunder feat, double the resulting damage.
I think characters with low ability scores have a hard time picking epic feats. So here are a few for our ability challenged heroes.
Legendary Leper [Epic]
Your are reknowned for spreading disease and having horrific appearance.
Prerequisites: Cha 9-; Con 9-;
Benefits:
You are surrounded by an aura of disease and uglyness. Everybody looking at you must make a will saving throw against a DC of (10 + your level - cha mod).
On a failed save the victim cannot look directly at you and suffers penalties as if being blind. Any being coming closer than level * 10 feet to you must make a fortitude save (DC 10 + your level - con mod) or having their con and cha reduced to 9 or -2 if already lower.
From time to time, you lose fingers, skin or limbs. You are very adept at sticking them back to your body, you can do it as a move action.
Epic Weakling [Epic]
Your strength is legendary - you have trouble keeping yourself upright.
Prerequisites: Str 9-;
Benefits:
Whenever somebody hits you, you have a chance of falling down. Make a str check (DC damage dealt). On a successful check you stagger around without falling, needing a move equivalent action to regain your balance. On a failed save you are knocked back (damage)*feet and you fall prone. To stand up, you need a full-round action.
Supreme Retard [Epic]
Your stupidity knows no bounds.
Prerequisites: Int 9-; Wis 9-;
Benefits:
Whenever you have to make a decision, make an Int Check (DC Character Level). On a failed check you will decide in favor of the most stupid thing you can come up with. When confronted with questions that require any fraction of abstract concepts, you will fail miserably and just stand around grinning obnoxiously. The grin enrages the being that asked the question if it fails a will save against DC 20 - (your Int Mod + Wis Mod). The question must not have been directed at you, you just have to hear it.
Unstoppable Clumsiness [Epic]
You cause havoc by trying to do anything and being near other people.
Prerequisites: Dex 9-;
Benefits:
Whenever you move and there are people or objects near you (1 foot per level) make a dex check (DC Character Level). On a failed check you bump into them and fall prone. The beings in your proximity have to make a dex check (DC your character level). If they fail, they too bump into other people, who have to make checks as well. This continues until there are no more people in reach or all make their checks. Inanimate Objects likewise fall down, with no save allowed. They take (Character Level) damage. When handling or picking up objects, you must make a dex check (DC your character level). On a failed check you drop the object in the worst possible way, it takes damage equal to (twice your character level) + str modifier. If you have the sunder feat, double the resulting damage.
