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Message: <blockquote data-quote="rexartur" data-source="post: 5121725" data-attributes="member: 3258">Not sure if this helps or not but..I think the replies about who decides what in any given group depend heavily on that group's dynamic.In my group (I'm the DM) I am the one who spends the time coordinating, recruiting (when necessary), vetting, etc.   Our group has been strong, had some shaky points and has now grown strong again.  Not to blow my own horn but much of this is because of the time I have spent posting, searching, communicating, etc.  As the DM and host my concern is not only with the game but in the happiness and success of the gaming group which needs players first and foremost.  Not to mention I have to be the bad guy if the group doesn't like someone new.  Hey, it's like dating.  Not everyone is a good fit, even if we all love the same game.That being said, I would definitely want to know ahead of time if a new player was joining.  If he/she just showed up, or not enough notice was given they would be warmly welcomed and invited to watch and learn, ask questions, regale with stories, etc. so we could assess the new group dynamic.  The the group gets to decide (with my acting as final arbiter even in this process - my long-standing rule is that intolerance is tolerated least).  The only exceptions are our kids and my wife.  They're in when they want to be, for it is by their grace that we play as much as we do.The moral?  Be up front with your friends, treat them with respect and ask that they do the same.  But leadership is something that is not only required for progress, it is very often desired (even when protested against).</blockquote>

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