Azure Trance
First Post
Hey, I would appreciate it if you could critique my prose in what will follow. I’m trying to develop a critical eye, or method, in easily creating well-made articles for a potential PBEM. In my opinion it should convey information quickly, but without being too sparse and not taking too much of my time 
. If any of you would be interested and have the time, it would be great if you could type up a similar article using the key subject to compare to mine to see the different styles. Use your imagination liberally!
Aside note - the below article is 359 words and, to me, just barely long enough to contain a bare minimum of description. Ideally I would like to crank out 500 - 1000 words, but I suppose practice is perfect. This also took me an hour or so to do since I'm creating the world in my head as I type it Hopefully when it's more concrete it will take less time as well.
Article I – Key Subject – Dwarven realm prepares for war with Orcs
KOTSLEV PREPARES FOR INVASION AS SPY IS CAPTURED
30,000 Troops Called To The Defense of the Fatherland
(Central Press Agency)
Varekia-The Dwarven nation of Kotslev underwent massive mobilization as tens of thousands of troops were called to active-duty in the past month to counter the growing threat of the Orcish horde. One of the few publicly made comments regarding the war effort was General Administrator Stulenka Mavich of the Party Central Committee when he declared, “It has became easily apparent to the State that the Orcish clans are increasing in size for the sole purpose of invading our home, and we will make them pay dearly for such an attempt.” Further details are pending, however the 4th, 6th, and infamous 11th Corps was put on full alert until more units can be readied.
Unknown until mere months ago, initial reports from scouting expeditions to the Northern Wastelands filtered through with rumors of an abnormally large increase in the number of war tribes. These whispers were kept hushed among the general populace until the news of a captured spy was announced. Ivan Kristianovich, a gypsy trader of unknown heritage, was found guilty of high treason against the state and consorting with the enemy. Prosecutors established that Kristianovich was a war profiteer that had sold advanced armaments to the Orcs, such as high-quality Sakova steel axes, for the simple purpose of pure profit. Although a defense lawyer was appointed, Kristianovich claimed a ‘massive conspiracy’ and disrupted the trial several times until the judge regained order. Evidence from his interrogation was shown in which he admitted his guilt and told all he knew of the upcoming Orcish invasion. Kristianovich was found guilty on all charges and was executed by beheading the following day.
This event was enough proof to allow General Administrator Mavich declare a state of emergency, which among other things gave him the broad-spanning powers of High General to lead the defense of his nation against the incoming wave of infidels. It is expected that Kotslev, a prominent nation in of itself, will seek assistance from its fellow member nations in the coalition of governments known as the Iron Chain.
Edit: I like these colors much better.
. If any of you would be interested and have the time, it would be great if you could type up a similar article using the key subject to compare to mine to see the different styles. Use your imagination liberally!Aside note - the below article is 359 words and, to me, just barely long enough to contain a bare minimum of description. Ideally I would like to crank out 500 - 1000 words, but I suppose practice is perfect. This also took me an hour or so to do since I'm creating the world in my head as I type it
Hopefully when it's more concrete it will take less time as well.Article I – Key Subject – Dwarven realm prepares for war with Orcs
KOTSLEV PREPARES FOR INVASION AS SPY IS CAPTURED
30,000 Troops Called To The Defense of the Fatherland
(Central Press Agency)
Varekia-The Dwarven nation of Kotslev underwent massive mobilization as tens of thousands of troops were called to active-duty in the past month to counter the growing threat of the Orcish horde. One of the few publicly made comments regarding the war effort was General Administrator Stulenka Mavich of the Party Central Committee when he declared, “It has became easily apparent to the State that the Orcish clans are increasing in size for the sole purpose of invading our home, and we will make them pay dearly for such an attempt.” Further details are pending, however the 4th, 6th, and infamous 11th Corps was put on full alert until more units can be readied.
Unknown until mere months ago, initial reports from scouting expeditions to the Northern Wastelands filtered through with rumors of an abnormally large increase in the number of war tribes. These whispers were kept hushed among the general populace until the news of a captured spy was announced. Ivan Kristianovich, a gypsy trader of unknown heritage, was found guilty of high treason against the state and consorting with the enemy. Prosecutors established that Kristianovich was a war profiteer that had sold advanced armaments to the Orcs, such as high-quality Sakova steel axes, for the simple purpose of pure profit. Although a defense lawyer was appointed, Kristianovich claimed a ‘massive conspiracy’ and disrupted the trial several times until the judge regained order. Evidence from his interrogation was shown in which he admitted his guilt and told all he knew of the upcoming Orcish invasion. Kristianovich was found guilty on all charges and was executed by beheading the following day.
This event was enough proof to allow General Administrator Mavich declare a state of emergency, which among other things gave him the broad-spanning powers of High General to lead the defense of his nation against the incoming wave of infidels. It is expected that Kotslev, a prominent nation in of itself, will seek assistance from its fellow member nations in the coalition of governments known as the Iron Chain.
Edit: I like these colors much better.
Last edited:
